Miscellaneous: Today, at school, everybody wanted to be my partner for a project....

By anonymous - 10/09/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, at school, everybody wanted to be my partner for a project. This surprised me because nobody ever wants to be with me. Turns out when I was absent, my teacher promised that whoever was my partner would get extra points on the project. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 931

You deserved it 3 346

Miscellaneous

Mother of the year

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Real life

By Anonymous - 24/06/2009 10:10 - Netherlands

Today, I ran into my crush of three years ago. We used to always walk our dogs together. He still remembered my dog's name. He didn't remember mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 090

You deserved it 3 975

By blah. - 05/04/2010 10:14 - Thailand

Today, my shrink diagnosed me as severely depressive, due to a lot of stress and yells at home. After the session, my parents argued about whose fault it was and then went on to yell at me for being depressive and wasting their money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 878

You deserved it 3 830

By woahitbechels - 25/04/2011 01:10 - United States

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 944

You deserved it 12 582

Bullshit merchants in the temple

By Anonymous - 08/02/2021 00:30 - United States - Decatur

Today, I found out my mom has literally spent all her savings sending money to some bullshit-peddling megachurch televangelist, who apparently told her that giving them money would ensure her future fortune. Tithings, my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 78

By mitchellcrawford - 31/05/2016 18:05 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after seeing a cute girl on the bus, I tried to look cool by flipping my hair, only to smack the side of my head into the bus window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 051

You deserved it 10 039

By CollegeGrad - 25/04/2009 06:39 - United States

Today, was my graduation from a prestigious university. In two days I start working at a hot dog stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 693

You deserved it 16 905

By Dumped - 22/12/2009 07:57 - United States

Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 015

You deserved it 11 635

By Anonymous - 09/09/2009 17:21 - United States

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202 105

You deserved it 21 709

By EPICfml. - 02/03/2009 19:01 - United States

Today, my dad woke me up at 6 told me to take a shower and drove me to school only to say "just kidding, happy snowday!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 520

You deserved it 13 492

Nice bird

By Sick - 01/01/2020 01:00 - Netherlands - Ede

Today, a bird shit on my jacket whilst smoking, I cleaned it and went back outside, and got shit on again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 725

You deserved it 960

By ... - 29/11/2008 11:50 - France

Today, well actually last night, I did a full striptease for my girlfriend to "You can leave your hat on". When the song was over, I was then completely naked, she says to me : "Maybe we should have closed the shutters!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 468

You deserved it 11 952

By Bambi - 12/08/2009 06:49 - United States

Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 168

You deserved it 46 093

By Anonymous - 24/09/2013 16:16 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my online order arrived earlier than I expected. I opened it to find some kind of anal sex toy. Whoever this is for is going to be disappointed when they get my 3DS game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 601

You deserved it 3 019

By Anonymous - 13/02/2014 15:20 - United States - Reno

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 217

You deserved it 18 965

Odorama

By carla - 13/01/2009 01:35 - France

Today, as I came out of some changing rooms in a clothes shop, I gave back all the stuff I'd tried on to a saleswoman. I then walk off, make it about a couple of yards, change my mind and decide to purchase one of the items I'd tried. When I get back, the saleswoman was spraying the changing room I'd used with deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 515

You deserved it 10 670

By fuck my liBLARGHSLJNAdlajdSzxz - 05/09/2013 16:39 - Sweden - Solna

Today, after my grandma did some early Halloween costume shopping, I witnessed her modeling a "sexy nurse" outfit. After seeing her bare thighs and most of her ass, I don't think I can eat cottage cheese ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 390

You deserved it 5 021

By fuuuuuh - 20/07/2012 05:47 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 750

You deserved it 30 771

By ppp - 14/09/2011 04:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 090

You deserved it 3 390

Stereotypes

By Anonymous - 26/09/2019 06:01

Today, my girlfriend's Facebook relationship status was changed to single. When I tried to ask her about, she told me she's a lesbian now. Her mullet should've been a clue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 307

By crashednowcrushed - 26/04/2009 00:44 - United States

Today, was my 16th birthday and I was supposed to be surprised with a new car. I have overheard my parents talking about bringing it home tonight while I was at a friend's house. We snuck back to my house to see them bring my car home. All I saw was my Dad crash my new car into a street lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 270

You deserved it 14 812

By Anonymous - 16/05/2017 16:00

Today, I've been yawning every few minutes. Which would be fine, except every couple of yawns my jaw dislocates, and I have to put it back in place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 129

You deserved it 322

By TrueScotsman - 29/10/2009 14:31 - United States

Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stares which I was receiving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind came and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 962

You deserved it 57 256

By bridetobe - 22/07/2011 04:23 - United States

Today, I am sitting at home, alone, playing video games. My wedding is tomorrow afternoon. None of my bridesmaids wanted to hang out tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 530

You deserved it 4 823

Sad sad sad

By Anonymous - 09/09/2015 00:03

Today, I caught two kids passing notes to each other in my class, so I told them to see me afterwards. When one of the kids eventually came up, I noticed he was crying. He looked up at me and sobbed out, "I was trying to make my first friend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 527

You deserved it 7 705

Pick me!

By Anonymous - 13/05/2021 17:01

Today, I wore my tightest, slightly too small, push-up bra and low cut top to impress a guy at work. He came over to borrow a pen. I leaned down to get one out of my bag and my nipple popped out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 1 777

By Anonymous - 14/12/2009 06:58 - United States

Today, I was at the theatre with my 4-year-old son who was situated on my lap. Halfway through the movie, he turns to face me and states loudly, "Mommy, your legs are so furry!". Everyone watching the show turned and stared at us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 733

You deserved it 8 950

By GeofftyGeoff - 27/10/2018 15:30

Today, my former boss, a landlord, came through on his "parting gift" to me. I thought he was joking when he said he'd send a deranged tenant of ours cross-country by bus to stay with me for a week. It wasn't a joke. Send help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 049

You deserved it 150

By al0406 - 22/03/2009 00:34 - United States

Today, I was at lunch with my grandpa and my sister. My grandpa looks over at my sister and says, "Wow. You're so beautiful." Right after, he turns to me and says, "And you have a nice coat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 249

You deserved it 4 196

By cbolig - 03/05/2011 12:15

Today, while on a first date with a guy who turned out to be twice my age, we were playing video games at the theatre before the movie started. Suddenly he falls face first while having a seizure. The EMT asked if my "dad" had a history of epilepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 316

You deserved it 31 706

New one

By Anonymous - 07/02/2020 12:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I closed my eyes while my boyfriend was fingering me, and I felt a cold liquid inside me. I opened my eyes, and he was pouring yogurt into me. He said “I wanted to try something new.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 334

You deserved it 428

A tale as old as time

By I'm_Not_Interested - 06/07/2015 05:30 - United States - Reno

Today, I found out the only reason why a friend of mine even bothered talking to me. He thought that I'd sleep with him if he was nice enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 068

You deserved it 2 874

By Anonymous - 04/10/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 386

You deserved it 3 564

By Bonecrusher - 27/03/2015 22:50 - United States - Sonoma

Today, I was trying out for a position as pitcher for my college baseball team. I threw the ball as hard as I could, and then collapsed to the ground in agony from a dislocated shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 366

You deserved it 5 311

By transcendingnerd - 13/04/2015 10:46 - Philippines - Makati

Today, I heard my 2-year-old sister crying, so I left my room to comfort her. She looked at me, held my hand, escorted me back to my room and closed the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 595

You deserved it 3 067

By samadams42 - 13/05/2011 19:18 - United States

Today, my mom said she wanted me to get laser eye surgery before she did, "Just in case it isn't safe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 102

You deserved it 3 055

By cookieman - 06/01/2017 11:52

Today, in a coffee shop, I purchased two doughnuts and cup of coffee, a regular order which I've bought many times before. Today the cost was $1 less and when I inquired why, I was told, "I gave you the senior's discount." Their policy is a senior discount for anyone over 55. I turned 50 last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 394

You deserved it 1 287

By kris - 22/08/2011 16:06 - United States

Today, my mom let it slip that she was divorcing my dad. After making me promise to keep it from him and my little sisters, she had me help her with her plans to renovate the house. She intends to kick him out once it's done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 745

You deserved it 2 745

By FuckPollen - 08/07/2015 11:01 - United Kingdom - Hartlepool

Today, I attended a work interview. My hay fever has been flaring up during the hot weather, causing my throat to swell up and make me short of breath, which I explained. The woman interviewing me told me I was unsuccessful, as customers wouldn't be able to understand someone with my 'disability'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 837

You deserved it 1 890

By embarassed - 08/08/2009 14:53 - United States

Today, I went for a hike with my new boyfriend on a fairly deserted trail my ex-husband had shown me awhile back. In all my hikes there, I've never seen another person and figured it would be okay to get intimate. Guess who came hiking past? That's right, my ex-husband. And our 8yr old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 082

You deserved it 72 900

By sexyredhead - 14/02/2012 18:14 - United States

Today, I was in class when someone came in with a rose for me. My teacher made me read the card aloud: "I'm breaking up with you, happy Valentine's." It was from my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 103

You deserved it 3 444

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Top comments

GavinRoskamp 0

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:24

What a bitch!

bart100125 0

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:29

oh man i know how its to be the "outcast,, fyl!

GavinRoskamp 0

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:24

What a bitch!

skullbashd 3

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:40

Steve I am so sorry you weren't supposed to find out about te extra points

2kool4skoolyo 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 0:07

you must be blonde lol

Stupified 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 0:48

ydi for sucking that bad.

JoshTheMaggot 8

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Saturday 11 September 2010 1:58

yeah ure right #1 the teacher is a bitch and if I found out a teacher did that to me I would have told all of them to fuck off. then I'd leave.

drcool41 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 1:59

no she's nice or trying to make him feel popular, at least she cared

ugwmii 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 6:08



changesinme 0

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Saturday 10 September 2011 10:35

LoveML man, you're the popular kid now

Dear_Karma 27

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Wednesday 27 July 2016 12:40

Not really. The teacher made an effort to have them included

SoundnVasion 0

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:25

Not really an fml. The teacher helped more than anything.

INsayn 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 7:19

I think it was nice of your teacher to do that, but when you founded out it makes it bad but she tried.

monsterskatr 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 14:31

hahah SucKs fir u

xxdreamloverxx 14

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Friday 13 January 2017 20:02

Probably made her feel worse about herself actually. Her hopes were raised and then violently crushed down.

renr17 0

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:28

how is this an FML. I mean, you were absent. so WTF.

Molord1 0

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:50

OP is an outcast that nobody wants to be partners with

bart100125 0

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:29

oh man i know how its to be the "outcast,, fyl!

panchod1234 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 8:53

haha fuckin loser

you_failed 15

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 5:10

freakin prick ^

Cjw1220 0

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Sunday 24 October 2010 21:28

*scoffs* How rude!

deafeningsilence 8

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:35

Ouch...

like_its_ya_bday 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 0:13

I know right

karlita22 0

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:37

hahahaha I'm a fuckstick fml too

missysangel 4

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:39

sad..

talaina 2

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:41

I've been in this situation...well, the first part anyway. It sucks. :-( I'm sorry, OP. FYL, both for being in that situation and for having a lousy teacher who made it worse.