Today, at my mother's open-casket funeral, my sister-in-law went... - FML

By Anonymous - 13/6/2014 22:06 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, at my mother's open-casket funeral, my sister-in-law went to pay her respects. As she stood in front of the body, she coughed, muttering "bitch" in the process. Either nobody else noticed or nobody cared, and she went on her way, noticeably not choked up at all. FML

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Understandable

Sewer monster

Noise

By Winchesterlover - 5/2/2011 18:41 - United States

Today, my mom and I tried out Just Dance 2 on the Wii. When we both threw out our hands at the same time, my mom's Wii remote hit my hand and ripped my finger nail. As I stared at the bloody, half hanging off nail, my mom muttered, "You should have stayed in your dance space." FML

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By peeepeee. - 3/6/2009 20:06 - United States

Today, while taking a drug test for a volunteer job, I found out that I have a "shy bladder". It took me ages to pee into a cup. I was congratulated and clapped for by complete strangers when I finally left for taking a piss. FML

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By anonymous - 31/3/2015 16:47 - United States - Denver

Today, I was fired from job as a personal trainer. Why? Because I was working out with a friend while off-duty. Apparently, working out with a friend on a day off means I am training them under the table. FML

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By crazybitch - 18/6/2012 04:57 - Canada - Okotoks

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML

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By OhJoy - 2/11/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I got an e-mail from a girl, asking if my boyfriend was indeed my boyfriend. I sent back a gushing message about how much I loved him and how well he treated me. She replied "Yeah, I know. He was supposed to be my boyfriend, too." FML

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By Anonymous - 12/4/2018 05:00

Freaky.

Today, according to my mother, who is only 19 years older than me and raised me by herself, I was conceived in a satanic ritual to honour the Horned God and have at least 4 potential fathers. She was too stoned to remember the actual number or their names. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/12/2014 10:41 - United States - Athens

Today, I was shocked to notice that my hair has started growing out entirely silver, supposedly due to pregnancy. I'm 19. Apparently, according to my aunt, "It runs in the family." FML

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By Anonymous - 20/9/2017 20:00

Seems fair

Today, so far, 3 of my employees have requested tomorrow off because of "emotional damage" due to Toys 'R' Us closing. FML

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By random - 8/1/2015 05:24 - United States - Arvada

Today, my sister and I got stuck in an airport elevator. We were separated from our friends, missed our flight and had to walk two hours to find our gate. On the bright side, we ended up having a pleasant talk with an Air Marshal on why we were "stalking people". FML

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By Anonymous - 11/1/2018 19:00

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and my boyfriend thought it would be cute to carry me to bed. He knocked my head on the door frame and I pretended it didn't hurt because he felt so bad, but I shouldn't have. I was rushed to the hospital hours later with a concussion. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/2/2010 19:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in the shower getting ready for a date, when my older sister thought it would be a laugh to turn out the light. Getting out of the shower to turn it back on, I slipped and hit on my head on the counter. Thanks, sis. FML

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By GrossedOut - 11/1/2012 07:47 - United States

Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/10/2019 14:00

Not so ready to rumble

Today, my pro wrestling training class had come to a close and I was gathering my things outside of the ring. One of my fellow trainees got out of the ring on the side where there was nothing but giant stage lights. He knocked them over onto me, giving me my first pro wrestling injury. I’d always thought that would happen in the ring. FML

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By CasaDeLoser - 11/3/2015 05:32 - United States - Kent

Today, my kid made a new friend at school. When I asked her to describe her new friend, she said, "She looks kinda like you, only pretty." FML

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By ritualdevice - 15/12/2009 08:30 - France

Today, I have to train people overseas to do my job. If I succeed in teaching them what they need to know, then they get my job and I get fired. If they don't perform well, then as the trainer I get blamed, and get fired. FML

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By DarrenP - 3/8/2019 22:00 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I got a burn on my foot from a Pot Noodle I didn't even want. FML

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By hfs palm - 21/6/2015 21:37 - United States

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

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By singlemam - 15/3/2016 01:51 - United States - Akron

Today, while at the park, my 3 year-old ran up to a lady, grabbed her chest and loudly asked, "Are these your breasts? Are they private on you too?" FML

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By Anonymous - 31/12/2016 06:55 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my grandma called me spoiled, materialistic, and Americanized for reminding her that she can flush the toilet after she uses it. The family now has a "three pee, one poo" minimum before we're allowed to flush. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/1/2016 14:24 - Philippines - Philippine

Today, while entering in my college building, I noticed that my right shoelace was untied and I tied it. I didn't realize that just in front of me was a metal beam until I hit my head hard on it and a loud, reverberating sound was produced. Many people saw what happened. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/7/2011 19:46 - United States

Today, a riot broke out while I was on shift at the community swimming pool. A family snuck in soap so they could use the pool as a giant bath tub. FML

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By jumpedjogger - 14/9/2011 08:34 - United States

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/1/2011 19:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about our new year's resolutions. I started telling him that I wanted to lose some weight. He interrupted me, saying, "Yeah yeah, we all know you're fat, whatever." He then went on a 30 minute speech about how he'd really like to take more pictures of his cat in 2011. FML

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By Srain - 7/1/2010 06:36 - Australia

Today, feeling confident, I asked my boyfriend what he thought of my new body, since I had lost 16 kilos over the past month. He told me that he missed the old me and wanted me to gain weight again. My boyfriend was the one that encouraged me to lose weight in the first place. FML

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By TodX - 27/12/2008 08:23 - France

Today, I used my Christmas holiday time to open up a load of old letters. There were a lot of bills, of course, but there was also a note telling me that I'm due for a tax inspection. Merry F*ing Christmas! FML

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By Anonymous - 18/6/2011 01:26 - Israel

Today, I'm sat at home alone on a Friday night, watching a documentary online about decomposing elephants. FML

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By kaylashay2k13 - 17/5/2016 14:18 - United States - Mission

Today, my boyfriend was trying to tackle me to the bed when we heard a loud pop. The pop turned out to be him breaking my pinky finger. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/8/2019 00:01

Today, I spent five hours in the back seat of a car with two dogs. Both had been sprayed by a skunk earlier in the day. One had a gas problem. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/8/2009 20:02 - Canada

Today, I ran into a guy that I had gone on a few dates with 3 months ago and slept with him a few times, but then never heard from him again. When he looked at me, I went over and gave him a hug and said "Hey, how are you, Chris?". He hugged me back and said "Hey there cutie, what's your name?". FML

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By btg - 6/2/2010 06:27 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

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By Noname - 22/2/2009 01:19 - United States

Today, I got my fake ID and went out with the boys to dinner and the bars. One of my friends asked to see my ID. He noticed my birthday didn't make me over 21. I paid $170 for a fake ID with my real birthday. FML

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By IStillHaveMy8hrShiftToGo - 11/3/2014 13:01 - United States - Beaverton

Today, I came in to work early at a restaurant to help out. I stocked, baked pies for the next day, cleaned and set over 50 tables, and vacuumed the entire two stories. When I went to send an order for the first customer of mine, I realized I hadn't even clocked on. Four ½ hours of work wasted. FML

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By Knottywoman - 3/9/2017 23:15

Today, I dreamt my fiancé was rolling frozen potatoes onto my bed to wake me up. In reality I woke up screaming to intense cramps in my legs which almost reduced me to tears. I could barely walk for two hours. FML

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By tammy - 15/8/2010 17:24 - France

Today, a wasp stung my nipple. Twice. The swelling makes it look like I'm growing a third breast. FML

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By Not impressed. - 19/11/2013 05:51 - Canada - Toronto

Today, working in a department store, I spent at least 30 minutes helping a verbally abusive elderly woman in a wheelchair find an appropriate jacket for winter. She finally asked me to retrieve one she wanted in her size. When I returned she was in deep sleep, snoring and all. FML

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By Username - 4/9/2010 13:24 - France

Today, my email got hacked and sent all my contacts something for Viagra. My husband thinks I really sent it to him on purpose and now won't even talk to me. FML

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By hhhhhhhpeterwut - 19/2/2013 03:21 - United States - Bethesda

Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/6/2016 01:04

Today, my sister, who has been seeing a guy for a year, got engaged. I've been dating my boyfriend for over 5 years and let out some not so subtle hints and he basically refused to propose. This is her second marriage in the time of my relationship. FML

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By babymine - 9/3/2012 04:45 - United States

Today, I was boarding a plane and a woman's bag started to fall. In the spur of the moment I thrust my arm up to catch it. I didn't catch the bag, but I did catch her boob. I had to sit next to her for the rest of the flight. FML

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By karl - 10/1/2009 06:50 - Ireland

Today, we were out smoking a bit of spliff just walking around. We saw a place to sit down in this little car park we were walking past. The cops came over and busted us. Turns out we were in the main car park for the cop shop. FML

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Top comments

By kcpestwick | 15

#5974831 - Saturday 14 June 2014 5:57

So disrespectful and rude

By razzledazzle21 | 23

#5974846 - Saturday 14 June 2014 6:00

Your sister-in-law is a bitch. Even if she and your mother had their differences she had no right to be so disrespectful.

COMMENTS

By kcpestwick | 15

#5974831 - Saturday 14 June 2014 5:57

So disrespectful and rude

Reply

naajster | 14

#5974922 - Saturday 14 June 2014 6:27

that was nasty on her part!

Reply

hellnosucka | 27

#5974977 - Saturday 14 June 2014 6:59

that sister in law is going to have one HELL of an afterlife.

Reply

wakejhittle | 7

#5975047 - Saturday 14 June 2014 8:26

She has to be ashamed of herself, that's disgusting

Reply

cactusprick | 19

#5975056 - Saturday 14 June 2014 8:35

forreal though. she shouldn't have even gotten up there if she had nothing nice to say

Reply

tayymeds | 23

#5975081 - Saturday 14 June 2014 9:07

That's honestly the most foul things I've ever heard of. That woman doesn't deserve to even be apart of OP's family. I'm just curious as to what her spouse said...

Reply

katieemerr | 15

#5975209 - Saturday 14 June 2014 13:30

I think there's only one bitch in this situation

Reply

sweetbliss3 | 37

#5975232 - Saturday 14 June 2014 14:12

if that was my mom up there, bet your ass id drag her outside. a. dont talk about my mom. b. dont talk about my mom like that at her funeral. what an asshole.

Reply

CelticSkye | 13

#5977982 - Tuesday 17 June 2014 4:50

Seriously, if that were happen to me at my mother's funeral, I would whoop that bitches ass.

And OP, I am so very sorry for your loss.

By DonkeyTeeth2013 | 22

#5974834 - Saturday 14 June 2014 5:58

You should talk to her.

Reply

naajster | 14

#5974928 - Saturday 14 June 2014 6:28

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

DatPiggahDoe | 10

#5975356 - Saturday 14 June 2014 17:14

This is the kind of thing that requires a scene.

Reply

Catahoulaqueen_fml | 17

#5975466 - Saturday 14 June 2014 19:10

Talk with your fists, OP...

Reply

areyouHIclaire | 8

#5976010 - Sunday 15 June 2014 5:47

more like beat her ass

By xoamy906 | 25

#5974835 - Saturday 14 June 2014 5:58

What the fuck? How could someone be so disrespectful?

By jazmin3012 | 28

#5974836 - Saturday 14 June 2014 5:58

she sounds like the bitch.

By razzledazzle21 | 23

#5974846 - Saturday 14 June 2014 6:00

Your sister-in-law is a bitch. Even if she and your mother had their differences she had no right to be so disrespectful.

By martin8337 | 35

#5974847 - Saturday 14 June 2014 6:00

Can't we all just get along? So disrespectful of the deceased.

By worldclassrager | 39

#5974851 - Saturday 14 June 2014 6:00

In laws always seem pretty mean...you have mine (and more) condolences OP...

By Lebeaugars95 | 20

#5974853 - Saturday 14 June 2014 6:01

what a fucking bitch

By titandesu | 14

#5974859 - Saturday 14 June 2014 6:02

even if they hated eachother there's no reason to go to her funeral just to try to start some drama she is nothing more than a rude attention seeker

By ihpp | 22

#5974867 - Saturday 14 June 2014 6:03

sorry for the loss of your mom. I'd talk to your sister in law. that's all kinds of rude.