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6 Years ago I remember reading how to do that prank on an Captain Underpants book. A shame it happened to you, OP, but at least you've quelled my undying thoughts on whether it worked.

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nice boobs babe, email me: [email protected], i'd love to see more please :)

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Look at my profile. You should try naziing. It's fun! Just prepare for the "ur so dum! i cn typ howeva i want! ur a loser!" responses. They are even MORE fun to shoot down.

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The unfortunate answer is "not enough." Pretty much everyone says something about correcting grammar on FML, what's the point, don't you have something better to do, it's only the Internet, etc.

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Just - Awesome* :) rawrzy- The answer is simple. We are trying to make the FMLosphere a better, smarter place. Wouldn't you rather read an intelligent comment rather than "LOLZ!! ur so dumb!"

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rawrzy, all you have to do to avoid getting "yelled at" is avoid grammar, punctuation, and syntax errors. Simple! And if you don't like our response to "u" and "ur," then don't use them. It's two extra keystrokes to convert "u" to "you." Spend the extra 48 milliseconds. :)

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Hovering is unnecessary. Your chances of catching a disease from the toilet seat is next to zero. You have a much better chance of catching something from the faucet, paper towel dispenser, door handle, person in the next stall, etc.

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I'm not sure if this is 100% correct, but I don't think STDs can survive on the toilet seat for long without a human host. I think that as soon as they're... "left there" by the original host, they will die on the toilet seat in the time it takes for another person to sit down, thus leaving you disease free. I also don't think you can catch an STD from a doorknob. Same idea applies. The exception? The cold and/or flu viruses.

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It is nearly impossible to get an STD or crabs from a toilet seat. Most STDs are only transmitted during sexual contact, either by skin-to-skin contact or through body fluid exchange. I really doubt people are getting that intimate with restaurant toilets. If you're really worried, put on an extra cover or something. As for crabs, their legs are able to climb through pubic hair only because of the way their legs are spaced. That's why you don't hear about people getting crabs on the top of their heads; it's the wrong type of hair. On a porcelain toilet seat, they'd fall right off.

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#71 -- Hovering is a girl's best friend. I refuse to do anything but in a public toilet. #113 -- While all very interesting commentary on crabs, I can tell you I've brushed more than a few off the seat into the toilet water when cleaning the seat before sitting (this was before I caught on to the hovering concept). The idea that they'll skitter right off porcelain would be a nice one to believe, but the seat surface is still flat enough that they can hang in and wait for the next victim. No thank you.

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118 - Hovering is a girl's best friend? I guess I don't have a best friend then. Poor me. What's stopping you from putting a few sheets of toilet tissue down on the seat? Crabs can't crawl THROUGH paper. Even better, brush them off if you see them (I never have...) and THEN use the tissue as a liner.

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Considering the size of crabs, how can you be sure they were crabs in the first place? They should slide off of toilets. Perhaps not immediately upon contact, but they will pretty quickly. Public toilet seats (here anyway) aren't usually flat. What's so wrong with using covers?

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#118 & #121 -- Covering the seat isn't necessary. Hovering works great. What do you have against it? No muss, no fuss, saves on paper. #121 -- Please. It's not rocket science to recognize that the teeny critter sitting and waiting on the seat is a pubic crab. They can and do spread from victim to victim through public toilets. At my age, it would be naive to go with you on denying that it happens.

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123 - Have you researched the likelihood of the pubic lice traveling from person to person via a toilet seat? I suggest you do that... In 99% of cases, pubic lice is obtained through sexual contact. PERSON to PERSON. Not person to toilet to person. EDIT: No, the other 1% does not mean you get it from toilet seats. Actually, my numbers are just a guess-timate, so it's likely that it's more than 99%.

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#124 -- Since you're just guestimating and I have actual life experience seeing the critters on public toilet seats, you'll forgive me for not paying much attention to your "stats"

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No, I won't. I know the stats say that it's 99-point-something percent unlikely you'll get crabs from a toilet seat, and the same value goes for it being likely you'll get it from sex (if you get it). I'm just not sure of the actual decimal, which is why I called it a guess-timate and rounded it to 99%. My point (and RBG's) is still valid.

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I do, every time. 20 years, and never have I seen nor have I obtained pubic lice. I'm sure there are many others on here that will agree with me. Oh wait.. some already did!

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Jewelofagal, you are truly a naive woman. You did not see any tiny critters on a public toilet seat. I know you didn't, because when a toilet is flushed the suction alone would rake in any type of tiny creature. Do you know how small pubic crabs are? Not only that, but RBG is right when she says they can not "hang on" to a toilet seat. They would slip right off. They do not have any form of grip and will not stay on for any period of time. The only thing that should hover in this world, is an aircraft. Now, I can't speak for the size of your ass, but I'm going to assume it's not the size of a Navy jet.

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141 - Yeah, I look down to and make sure to wipe off any piss or water that's left on the seat. That's normal. But there's no need to hover. Well said, Anna!

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Public toilets are simply an experiment by the illuminati too see how insanitary they can create an environment before it is officially declared a deathtrap and condemned.

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insanitary [ɪnˈsænɪtərɪ -trɪ] adj not sanitary; dirty or infected insanitariness , insanitation Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003 Grammar Nazi failure.

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