Today, as I worked the drive-through at Wendy's, the hottest... - FML

By olalala2382 - 2/4/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, as I worked the drive-through at Wendy's, the hottest girl from my math class pulled up to the window. As I handed her the drink, I asked her what she thought of our math test today. She screamed "How did you know I had a math test, you creep!", threw the drink at me, and drove off. FML

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Out of it

Great speech, thanks!

Trip Advisor says no

By fmlmao - 28/1/2017 12:00

Today, I was feeling depressed, so I decided to go snowboarding with friends to cheer myself up. I fell on the first trail and broke my dominant wrist. FML

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By dumbgirl4lyf - 1/10/2012 18:24 - Ireland - Monaghan

Today, I finally realized how stupid I am, when I answered a question correctly in class and my teacher started clapping and cheering. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/9/2012 08:47 - United States - Evansville

Today, I met my husband's family for the first time. My nightmare versions were better. FML

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By DamnDogs - 20/11/2009 08:29 - United States

Today, at work, my boss said something that I didn't catch. I went to take a leash off a dog, (I'm a groomer's assistant) and looked at my boss and said "What?" To which she replied, "Be careful, he bites." I now have a two-inch gash on my finger from a 6lb fluffy Maltese. FML

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By VibeCheck - 10/3/2020 07:57

Hangover blues

Today, I woke up hungover and went to the kitchen for some food. I saw what I thought was a blueberry muffin. Halfway through eating it, I realized I couldn’t taste any blueberries, so I tried another one. I then remembered my dad telling me to throw out any old food we had. It was mould. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/3/2010 05:46 - United States

Today, while at work, I was told by a man who had literally just gotten back from his mothers funeral to cheer up, I was depressing him. FML

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By Kitcat034 - 22/1/2018 15:00

Today, I told my roommate that I was an atheist and she laughed. I left and returned to find her and her prayer group praying for my soul. She told me to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. I said no. Then she told me to find somewhere else to live. FML

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By Victoria - 18/9/2019 06:00 - Australia - Perth

My name is?

Today, while interviewing for a job, I was greeted by the interviewer with a handshake and a greeting of, "Hello Victoria, my name is Bill." I responded with, "Hello. My name is Bill." I think it's safe to assume I didn't get the job. FML

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By Yudith - 16/10/2019 00:01

Potholes

Today, I ran to catch the night bus which passes every hour, when it unexpectedly passed its stop and turned right. I ran faster, only to trip on a roadwork sign and scrape both knees on the half-rebuilt road, ruining my new yoga pants in the process. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/7/2020 05:01

Move it, now!

Today, I had just gotten out of the bath when a police officer knocked on my door. I answered in my towel, and he told me I had to leave due to a bomb scare. FML

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By "jesstracy" - 4/10/2017 09:00 - United States - Naperville

Today, I took my dog to the emergency vet at 4 in the morning because he ate something he shouldn't have. I spent hundreds of dollars on tests, all to find out he'll pass it. What did he eat? My silicon strap-on. FML

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By goldie09 - 18/2/2010 17:36 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/5/2017 02:00

Today, I had to pick up my brother and his girlfriend from the bar at 2:00am because they were too drunk to drive themselves and had no money for an Uber. Five minutes into the ride, they started going at it in the back of my new car. I don't think I'll be doing favors again. FML

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By Crushgonewrong - 22/6/2016 21:42 - United States - Compton

Today, I told the cute girl in my office that she looked like she listened to country music, as an icebreaker. She blankly stared at me for what felt like forever, and responded with, "That's the worst thing you could say to a person," and walked away. She hasn't talked to me since. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/4/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/9/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, I went to a baseball game. On the way in, I managed to trip and get stuck in the turnstile. It took five minutes of flailing and twisting around in front of hundreds of people before I managed to pull myself out. FML

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By waiterrrrrrrrr - 2/8/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I was working my shift at a fancy restaurant and it had been a really hard day. My parents came in to have dinner and surprise me. After paying, they left a note saying they would see me at home. It also said "By the way, no tip, because you stink at serving." FML

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By SterlingEnigma - 25/9/2009 08:43 - United States

Today, I decided to start making healthier decisions. Instead of the usual cheeseburger I have for lunch I ate an apple instead. I took one bite and broke one of my teeth. Apparently, apples keep the doctor away, but not dentists. FML

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By Today - 7/9/2010 02:26 - United States

Today, I had to play Paper, Rock or Scissors and beat my boyfriend in order to get him to take a shower. FML

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By clecker - 8/10/2009 10:24 - Australia

Today, I finally paid off the massive debt on my credit card. I came home only to find that almost everything I owned had been repossessed an hour before I paid the debt. FML

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By cabatt - 13/1/2019 04:00

Today, I'm a chef and I had a new set of knives delivered. My boss says to me, ''Be careful with your new knives, they're going to be sharp. You don't want to cut your nail off.'' Not 2 minutes later I chop my whole nail off my right index. He jinxed me. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/4/2018 05:00

Today, my boyfriend put chili powder on our loo roll as a "harmless" prank. He forgot women use loo roll to wipe the sensitive parts of their bodies. I have itchy weeping sores inside my vagina and am considering sticking an ice cube up there to stop the burning. FML

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By Accident-prone af - 7/7/2020 20:02

Kitchen nightmares

Today, while making milkshakes, I was pouring and the blender's blades all fell out somehow. I don't know what's worse, that I sliced my finger open when the blades fell out and now there's blood all over, that there's now melted ice cream all over my counter and floor, or that I just wasted an entire tub of ice cream. FML

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By Mel - 27/1/2019 20:00

Today, I found out the guy I was seeing was married, with a kid, when his wife sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

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By BasicallySodaFlavoredWater - 14/12/2015 00:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my parents decided that the best way to save money was to dilute everything we drank with water. Only one more year of watered down soda and juice to go. FML

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By stinky - 12/12/2011 04:46 - United States

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

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By Crystal_Nicole - 14/12/2013 05:05 - United States - Wichita

Today, my dog played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

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By healthfreak - 7/9/2014 01:57 - United States - Marietta

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

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By loueb17 - 15/2/2009 05:57 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 5 year old boy. When I was on the phone with my mom, he called 911 and started to cry. When I got off the phone the police were at the door. It turns out that the "emergency" was that the VCR was not working. FML

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By Joey - 7/5/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML

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By Anonymous - 15/1/2015 15:12 - United States

Today, like every other day at work, I had to listen to people talk about being addicted to sex. I have to treat people for addiction to something I've never even had. FML

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By Muwz - 13/8/2014 04:28 - France - Paris

Today, at the beach, I noticed a plastic bag in the water. I wanted to do something good for a change, help protect the environment and get it out. It wasn't a bag; it was a jellyfish. FML

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By blargggggg - 10/11/2009 06:20 - United States

Today, I received a rejection letter from a company I interviewed with three weeks ago. They didn't mention giving my $200 portfolio back. Guess I'll keep using my 4-year degree to wait tables. FML

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By croleymd - 17/2/2010 01:29 - United States

Today, I found my company car wrecked in a ditch. Apparently, leaving it parked on an icy hill all night was a bad idea. I have to pick up my manager from the airport. FML

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By technodont - 11/5/2015 14:37 - United States

Today, my rental car had an automatic rear hatch. That sounded helpful until I used it and it emptied $60 in just-purchased groceries for the week on the parking lot pavement. The jars and jugs weren't ready for the leap. FML

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By Workworkwork - 30/4/2019 12:00

Today, I’m trying to scrape $65 together to get the cheapest glasses possible. My partner is equally upset because she wants a Macbook to replace her working laptop. I’m only looking because I’m getting headaches from how old my current lenses are. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/7/2016 12:31

Proud

Today, I found a "White Power" bumper sticker on the back of my car. I don't know what idiot thought it'd be funny to put it there, but now my neighbors think I'm a proud racist. FML

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By Mogg - 18/12/2009 08:42 - Australia

Today, I was at the cinema. There was a really tall woman in front of me and whenever I leaned to the right or left she would lean to the same side I do. Later, she started laughing. They guy next to her was telling her where I moved. FML

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By RequilaRainbow - 26/1/2012 07:34 - Canada

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

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By jazopalchris - 25/11/2013 23:42 - Australia - Mount Gambier

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

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Top comments

By Vykeera | 0

#76731 - Thursday 2 April 2009 12:21

Whoa, ouch.
When you're next in maths, ask her how she liked her meal/drink from Wendy's and watch her go red as she realises. ;)

By hpnerd | 0

#76724 - Thursday 2 April 2009 12:16

overreaction on her part, much?

COMMENTS

By Mattrocker | 4

#76714 - Thursday 2 April 2009 12:08

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

epicfailburger | 0

#874791 - Saturday 20 February 2010 7:52

woot free drink!

Reply

h2opoloplaya | 0

#1380868 - Friday 10 September 2010 8:02

true dat

Reply

DumDum999 | 0

#2288757 - Sunday 3 April 2011 22:14

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Aleys_fml | 21

#5713238 - Saturday 12 October 2013 13:40

What is wrong with working at Wendy's? At least he has a paying job unlike a lot of people!

Reply

PugDelatorre | 11

#5868895 - Wednesday 26 February 2014 0:54

Say's the person working at Mcdonalds.

Reply

dragonrider1959 | 18

#5996653 - Thursday 3 July 2014 19:30

He wasn't! He is in her math class!

By Neenerzwingz | 0

#76721 - Thursday 2 April 2009 12:14

Sadness, she probably hates you before she said that.

By hpnerd | 0

#76724 - Thursday 2 April 2009 12:16

overreaction on her part, much?

By Tick_fml | 0

#76730 - Thursday 2 April 2009 12:21

Wow. she probably ain't worth your time anyways.

By Vykeera | 0

#76731 - Thursday 2 April 2009 12:21

Whoa, ouch.
When you're next in maths, ask her how she liked her meal/drink from Wendy's and watch her go red as she realises. ;)

Reply

Crazyjoe33 | 6

#2310996 - Friday 8 April 2011 1:23

genius

Reply

Doberman101 | 29

#5972289 - Wednesday 11 June 2014 18:14

I meant to like it but accidentally hit dislike ugh! But that's what I was thinking. Genius.

Reply

Helen790 | 2

#6727564 - Sunday 25 December 2016 13:43

Why do I get the feeling it will take more than that to get her to connect the dots...

By Jasper_fml | 0

#76732 - Thursday 2 April 2009 12:22

she over reacted.
you probably should have said you were in her class.
next lesson, ask her if she goes to wendy's often.

By sweetheart5292 | 0

#76734 - Thursday 2 April 2009 12:23

that sux 4 u that she didnt even know u were in her class...

& i agree with every1 else 2 explain next class or just ask if she goes to wendy's alot but thats sort of an asshole approach...

Reply

Ardee_fml | 0

#2958307 - Saturday 23 July 2011 14:53

I'm sorry to say this, but not really. LEARN TO SPELL WITHOUT SHORTENING EVERYWORD AND CHANGING THREE LETTER WORDS INTO NUMBERS!!

By JeremyU | 0

#76749 - Thursday 2 April 2009 12:35

lmao @ #5

By WeStayCrunk24x7 | 0

#76751 - Thursday 2 April 2009 12:37

if i were working at wendys, i wouldnt have talked to anyone i knew becuase thats an embarrassing job

By King_of_Kings | 3

#76752 - Thursday 2 April 2009 12:37

i guess your not cool enough in her book for you to be remembered.

and, she is a bitch to do that.

or, maybe she just hates you