Health: Today, as I went to kiss my date goodbye and drive home, he mistakenly...

By notonthepavement - 15/02/2016 11:04 - United States - Desoto

Today, as I went to kiss my date goodbye and drive home, he mistakenly rammed his thumb across my eye hard enough to push my contact back into my eye socket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 738

You deserved it 1 664

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By shiftybizniss - 16/04/2009 18:43 - Canada

Today, I tried to sneak up on my girlfriend who was sitting in her car with one of her girlfriends. I snuck up to the driver's side window and tried to startle her by banging on the window. The window was down. My thumb went right in her eye. She has to wear a patch for 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 185

You deserved it 69 373

By Anonymous - 04/05/2011 18:05 - United States

Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 187

You deserved it 8 951

By fuckmeintheeyewitharing - 03/07/2016 12:52 - United States - La Mesa

Today, I was polishing a ring I made at a jewelry shop I intern at. The ring flicked off my fingers and smashed me in the eye. It only took a single trip to the emergency room to make me pretty sure I won't be getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 797

You deserved it 1 388

By RhiannonMuh - 09/09/2016 20:01 - Germany - Starnberg

Today, I was on a date with a guy I really like. Everything went well, and then he wanted to kiss me. As he leaned towards me, I got slightly panicky and ducked out of the way, causing him to headbutt the car behind me. Now we know why I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 408

You deserved it 3 058

Don't try this at home

By Lunar-Spice - 07/11/2020 08:01

Today, I found out what it feels like to put in a contact while drunk. My eye still hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 792

Too stupid

By Anonymous - 15/02/2020 01:00

Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 2 262

How does that happen?

By Anonymous - 10/04/2023 22:00 - Unites States

Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 443

Leave it to the pros

By Anonymous - 05/11/2021 00:01 - United States - Epsom

Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 200

By IHateMyJob - 14/09/2010 02:00 - United States

Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 714

You deserved it 3 392

By RedEye - 11/07/2017 17:30 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my contact ripped in half in my eye. One half fell out, but the other half got stuck too far under my eyelid. An hour and $100 later, Urgent Care finally got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 632

You deserved it 333

Welshite 39

Monday 15 February 2016 18:13

He just wanted you to be blinded by love. Literally.

Bustedbutsilent 13

Monday 15 February 2016 18:13

I guess you didn't SEE that coming? I'll let myself out.

Comments

ihpp 22

Tuesday 16 February 2016 3:19

I just cringed so hard and I don't even wear contacts! I sincerely hope he didn't do any damage and your eye heals quickly!

Sansational_ 18

Tuesday 16 February 2016 3:30

I guess love is blind.

Bethaneey 15

Tuesday 16 February 2016 4:31

How does one mistakenly shove their finger in your eye?!

AScooterman 12

Tuesday 16 February 2016 5:07

Well at least you know he can find the hole. Just can't seem to find the right one to put it in

KayleeFrye 39

Tuesday 16 February 2016 6:31

My first thought was when Caleb (played by the wonderful Nathan Fillion) used his thumb to gouge Xander's eye out in season 7 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. What's my point? It could have been worse.