They may not have eyes, but the poor pedestrians do.

I thought everyone did that.

It helps the plants grow better. I thought everyone knew that.

Nudity helps them grow.

Potatoes have eyes.

As do coconuts. I like coconuts...

Well said. Maybe op is the creepy one checking him out instead of turning away maybe op was turned on.

A better description would be out of the frying pan and into the fire. And by better I mean literally opposite of what you said.

I'd actually prefer to walk past the couple. I doubt they'd care that you're walking past, that's what the sidewalk is for. Plus if it looked like it might get violent I'd want to be there to help protect the victim...I'm unlikely to risk my life for them but sometimes just having a spectator can calm someone down a bit and dissuade them from doing something stupid...

My thought was that the couple chose to argue in public on their driveway.....if they really didn't want anyone hearing their argument they should have gone inside.

Maybe the guy refused to eat the girl out after she blew him in the driveway in the middle of that party?

The argument was probably something along the lines of why she slept with the cop that arrested him.

Maybe the couple was arguing about how creepy the 'watering in his underwear' neighbor was. P.S. I haven't read the comments below this but I expected someone to say this by now.

Foresaw in hindsight?

What kind of mindfuck comment is this!?

in underpants in hindsight. Is that like underpants with holes in the back?

I don't blame him for staring, it's so awkward for some stranger to walk across the street right in front of my house...OP sounds kind of creepy. (I don't want to get thumbs down so I'll just make sure you guys know it's a joke, it's a joke)

*plants You should stop watering your pants around age 4. They don't grow... Silly!

Well awkward situation avoided.

Absolutely nothing!

How the hell did plants get in your undies?!

and looking directly at you as he did so