Miscellaneous: Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing...

By ProAwkward - 18/06/2013 04:07 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 733

You deserved it 5 835

Miscellaneous

Hiding from the drama

Compromises

Hot hot hot

By PlzSendBlankets - 27/06/2016 02:00 - United States

Today, marks three days since I was supposed to follow the moving truck to my new home. Instead, I got super sick and my dad drove away without me. I've been laying on a dog cushion the entire weekend because my bed is 500 miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 739

You deserved it 941

By Skylan - 13/11/2008 10:31 - France

Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch a porn film on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear. It wasn't until she came out of her bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 763

You deserved it 58 621

By Anonymous - 15/01/2017 22:00

Today, I went scuba diving for the first time. The diver took me down some 3 meters and I started showing the thumbs up. He thought I was excited. My breather wasn't working and I was using the sign he told me to use to go up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 719

You deserved it 750

Cura te ipsum

By Anonymous - 29/05/2021 22:01

Today, my mom sent me a text message, asking me why I blocked her on Facebook. I didn't. She blocked me, after drinking a bottle of wine. After having a conversation telling me that I need to go to AA and detox. I didn't have anything to drink, and have been limiting alcohol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 61

By coveredupforfun - 04/02/2015 03:13 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I saw my co-worker write about how awful Muslims were and how the religion is stupid, the hijab is oppressive, and how they're a poison on society. When I questioned them about it, they pretty much said that I didn't know anything and should stop talking. I'm Muslim and a hijabi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 944

You deserved it 6 155

By Anonymous - 11/01/2014 18:52 - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 177

You deserved it 5 475

Deliverude

By omfgwhywhywhy - 22/03/2020 19:18 - United States

Today, I had to take a delivery to a known hoarder. I was braced for the sight of the house, but not the naked fat guy and the smell of dead cat when he answered the door. To top it off, they didn't even tip me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 666

You deserved it 116

By Anonymous - 29/03/2016 16:27 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was working out and doing box jumps. My friend thought it would be funny to kick the box aside as I tried to jump onto it. Now I have 2 broken teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 305

You deserved it 1 550

By gentileman - 16/03/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 588 606

You deserved it 99 787

By Duchess - 20/01/2017 12:00

Today, I found out I have a yeast infection, a bladder infection, and a urinary tract infection all at the same time. Oh, and I also have the flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 419

You deserved it 694

By LifeSucks - 29/10/2008 11:57 - Canada

Today, as I was taking my three year old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 486

You deserved it 3 958

By s3xygrandpa - 06/11/2013 19:09 - United States - Palm Harbor

Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 640

You deserved it 5 108

By stillhungry - 22/05/2009 23:25 - United States

Today, while driving across country, my car broke down while in the middle of nowhere. I had it towed to a mechanic in the nearest town. While he fixed the car, I went to get lunch. The only restaurant in town was an old-fashioned drive-up diner. They wouldn't serve me because I wasn't in a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 378

You deserved it 2 712

By tango-c - 17/03/2016 19:56 - United States - Parker

Today, I sent a cover letter in which I bragged about my exceptional attention to detail. After it was sent, I noticed the company name and address were from a different job application. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 003

You deserved it 18 437

Unprofessional

By Anonymous - 16/09/2021 01:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a licensed child psychologist with 20 years of experience threw my son out after his first appointment, with the immortal line, “You must be taking the piss, there’s a church in town, you’re gonna need their help more than mine.” He’s probably right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 127

By anonymous - 01/12/2010 08:30 - United States

Today, my cute coworker begged me to cover his shift tomorrow, and told me that he wanted to take me to dinner to make up for it. I was very excited because I've been crushing on him for a long time. I later overheard him tell his friend that he didn't plan on showing up for our dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 709

You deserved it 3 715

By emoney - 19/05/2009 00:04 - United States

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 987

You deserved it 3 683

Wanting your cake

By Anonymous - 20/01/2021 11:01 - United States - Dayton

Today, I'm in love with my best friend, while also being in love with my wife. I know he has feelings for me too. I wish my wife was poly too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 1 100

By Firepants - 28/08/2010 16:04 - Canada

Today, I woke up with a burning sensation on my butt. Remembering that yesterday I was bit by a fire ant, I decided to reinspect the bite. I found ten more which itch and burn. My parents' new nickname for me is "Firebutt". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 438

You deserved it 4 087

By Anonymous - 24/05/2015 15:15 - United States - Lompoc

Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 448

You deserved it 2 268

By Anonymous - 18/06/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me telling me I have problems communicating and that I didn't understand her. When I asked her why she didn't talk to me about this before she said "I didn't want to talk about it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 161

You deserved it 3 567

By Anonymous - 18/07/2014 23:06 - United States - Horseheads

Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 823

You deserved it 11 241

By mala_19 - 12/06/2017 14:00 - Sweden

Today, at work, I had to help a teenager who was stuck in a toy car for kids, and no, it was not in one piece when she finally got out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 082

You deserved it 237

MAKE UP YOUR MIND

By preggo eggo - 30/11/2017 16:00

Today, after months of my fiancé begging me to have a baby with him, I found out I’m pregnant. He doesn’t want a baby anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 060

You deserved it 508

By anonymous - 13/02/2012 11:32 - United States

Today, I cracked a rib coughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 030

You deserved it 2 962

Golden

By Anonymous - 24/11/2021 20:01

Today, one of the dogs I’m walking stops to sniff something, then raises his leg to pee on it. The other dog, wanting to sniff that same spot, then goes and sticks his head right under his buddy’s raised leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 113

By Zuzubat - 05/09/2013 23:29 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, a soon-to-be-ex co-worker flew into a rage when she saw she wasn't on the schedule for next week. The boss told her it's because she quit. She reminded the boss she wants to keep working part-time. My new job is inventing tasks for her to do to keep her calm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 127

You deserved it 2 556

Alexa, play "I don't want to talk about it" by Rod Stewart

By Anonymous - 18/08/2020 20:08

Today, my man believes he could never be the cause of a breakup. His strategy for eternal love? Try not to feel anything, and if you do, do NOT show it or talk about it. Just completely refuse to engage with your partner in any meaningful way. No fighting equals happiness. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 215

By fuckstudentloans - 18/06/2015 23:29 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I ruined a $1,500 laptop with a 69¢ bowl of ramen noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 252

You deserved it 13 826

By aricababyy - 29/12/2016 05:09 - United States - Winchester

Today, I had my very first interview and pretty much got hired right away. Then I found out I have to drive 2 hours away for training. I don't have a car, license, or money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 740

You deserved it 572

And I oop

By AnxiousCucumber - 07/09/2016 20:41 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boyfriend's dick got stuck in the wrong hole. And by wrong hole I mean the pool filter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 258

You deserved it 2 165

By Arachnaphobic - 22/11/2009 08:35 - United States

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 186

You deserved it 4 761

By anon - 16/12/2015 15:28 - Australia - Salisbury

Today, my daughter asked me if we could adopt a child. I said no, since we can't afford to support another child. She then asked me if she could just adopt another dad instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 027

You deserved it 2 123

By Project-Mayhem - 02/12/2009 10:57 - United States

Today, my family went to the Christmas tree farm, and cut down the perfect tree. When we got home we put the kids down for a nap and took some time to relax. We went out to the truck to bring the tree into the house, it was gone. Someone stole my Christmas tree from my driveway in broad daylight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 410

You deserved it 5 809

By driver26 - 14/12/2010 05:15 - Canada

Today, I was arguing in the car with my boyfriend about who was the better driver. Being so incensed by the fact that he thought he was better made me completely zone out, and run a red light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 338

You deserved it 41 138

Nice try, though

By Anonymous - 16/10/2021 20:00

Today, I bought a $100 Victoria's Secret gift card for an ex who I still have a thing for, only to find out she started dating someone else a week ago. I just realized I bought lingerie for her to wear for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 2 277

By weneedthatmoneytoliveon - 26/06/2013 14:08 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I overheard my mother Skyping with her new "boyfriend" about the $1,000 she just sent him. She barely knew what internet dating was three weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 089

You deserved it 3 607

By Failed_Dad - 25/09/2015 05:42 - United States - Davis

Today, with the most certainty and confidence that I have ever seen in her, my 16-year-old daughter told me an egg is a fruit because of its "hard shell and growing seed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 602

You deserved it 2 709

By Anonymous - 16/09/2012 15:32 - United States - Acton

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 776

You deserved it 59 309

By vitalcheese - 20/05/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I was walking around my house without a shirt on after my shower. I picked up my cat and walked around the corner... Just as my dad turned on the vacuum. Now I have 6 rather deep bloody holes in my shoulder and chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 056

You deserved it 8 182

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Top comments

Zestus 19

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Tuesday 18 June 2013 11:40

im sure hes a nice guy. i water my plants naked all the time. its not like they have eyes or anything

flashback.miss 28

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Tuesday 18 June 2013 11:44

Should've walked past the couple, OP. Chances are they were so caught up in their anger at each other, they wouldn't have even noticed you.

Zestus 19

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Tuesday 18 June 2013 11:40

im sure hes a nice guy. i water my plants naked all the time. its not like they have eyes or anything

maryiah 21

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Tuesday 18 June 2013 11:53

They may not have eyes, but the poor pedestrians do.

itsmichellebitch 16

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Tuesday 18 June 2013 12:44

I thought everyone did that.

nightbirdblue 27

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Tuesday 18 June 2013 14:15

It helps the plants grow better. I thought everyone knew that.

ShelbieLB0731 10

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Tuesday 18 June 2013 15:28

Nudity helps them grow.

skyeyez9 24

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Tuesday 18 June 2013 18:17

Potatoes have eyes.

DyslexicPanda 12

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Wednesday 19 June 2013 3:08

As do coconuts. I like coconuts...

Bcfrmkc816 17

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Wednesday 19 June 2013 6:13

Well said. Maybe op is the creepy one checking him out instead of turning away maybe op was turned on.

Vitualamen 11

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Tuesday 18 June 2013 11:43

Guess its the lesser of two evils.. If that helps.

Damian95 16

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Tuesday 18 June 2013 15:32

A better description would be out of the frying pan and into the fire. And by better I mean literally opposite of what you said.

doodlecloud 26

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Tuesday 18 June 2013 16:40

I'd actually prefer to walk past the couple. I doubt they'd care that you're walking past, that's what the sidewalk is for. Plus if it looked like it might get violent I'd want to be there to help protect the victim...I'm unlikely to risk my life for them but sometimes just having a spectator can calm someone down a bit and dissuade them from doing something stupid...

flashback.miss 28

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Tuesday 18 June 2013 11:44

Should've walked past the couple, OP. Chances are they were so caught up in their anger at each other, they wouldn't have even noticed you.

Cupcake040 17

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Tuesday 18 June 2013 14:32

My thought was that the couple chose to argue in public on their driveway.....if they really didn't want anyone hearing their argument they should have gone inside.

crymore007 11

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Tuesday 18 June 2013 17:46

Maybe the guy refused to eat the girl out after she blew him in the driveway in the middle of that party?

RedPillSucks 31

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Tuesday 18 June 2013 20:01

The argument was probably something along the lines of why she slept with the cop that arrested him.

deepunder 17

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Wednesday 19 June 2013 10:20

Maybe the couple was arguing about how creepy the 'watering in his underwear' neighbor was. P.S. I haven't read the comments below this but I expected someone to say this by now.

drjohnnyboy 15

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Tuesday 18 June 2013 11:45

If you foresaw the guy in the underpants in hindsight, you probably would have taken the bickering couple. Sorry, OP!

photoquilty 6

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Tuesday 18 June 2013 13:05

Foresaw in hindsight?

Joe9024 20

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Tuesday 18 June 2013 15:09

What kind of mindfuck comment is this!?

RedPillSucks 31

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Tuesday 18 June 2013 20:03

in underpants in hindsight. Is that like underpants with holes in the back?

Grand_Cookie 21

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Tuesday 18 June 2013 11:52

Ummmm, you like it when I water these plants? Yeah, you do.

CocaColaPepsi 13

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Wednesday 26 June 2013 6:56

I don't blame him for staring, it's so awkward for some stranger to walk across the street right in front of my house...OP sounds kind of creepy. (I don't want to get thumbs down so I'll just make sure you guys know it's a joke, it's a joke)