Today, as I was sitting on a bench thinking about an upcoming...

By Dying Son - 05/04/2019 12:00

Today, as I was sitting on a bench thinking about an upcoming test, some hysterical woman slapped me out of nowhere because she thought I was staring at her ass. I was staring blankly into the void. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 074

You deserved it 180

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Same thing different taste

By tatatest - 06/04/2012 03:02 - United States - Casselberry

Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 478

You deserved it 59 000

Classic move

By Anonymous - 01/04/2022 20:00 - Canada - Saint-jérôme

Today, I walked up to my friend and slapped her ass, because that’s what we always do. Turns out, it wasn’t my friend, it was a total stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 1 190

By Salvation711 - 15/04/2012 15:29 - United States

Today, a woman was staring at me. This went on for about five minutes until I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at her to cut it out. It turns out she had a lazy eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 917

You deserved it 33 905

By Anonymous - 19/03/2014 10:34 - Australia - Greensborough

Today, I was sitting on a bench outside a supermarket waiting to be picked up, when a old lady walked out of the shop. She hadn't noticed me and sat on the bench beside me. She looked around and saw me, rolled her eyes, got up and moved to a different bench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 595

You deserved it 3 841

By grannysmack - 11/07/2009 09:10 - United States

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 859

You deserved it 6 555

Thanks a bunch

By nose hurts - 30/12/2012 01:01 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 636

You deserved it 3 477

By Target - 12/02/2013 01:42 - United States

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 002

You deserved it 2 798

Perv!

By Thithien1 - 01/04/2009 06:07 - Korea Republic of

Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 897

You deserved it 12 664

You talking to me?

By Anonymous - 08/12/2023 01:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I was on the train and a woman approached me from behind and told me that if I didn’t stop staring at her, she’d kill me slowly and painfully, then she pulled out a switchblade to support her argument. I wasn’t looking at her at all and was in fact looking in the opposite direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 72

By Not So Smart - 23/07/2010 23:47 - Canada

Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 578

You deserved it 48 005

Hempseed 26

Friday 5 April 2019 13:59

If I were you, I'd be pressing charges. Considering the fact that she basically assaulted you.

Johnny5 16

Friday 5 April 2019 22:55

I once got accused of checking out a girl’s ass by my ex because I was looking straight forward pushing my shopping cart in line to leave at CostCo.

Comments

Dave_Davington 33

Friday 5 April 2019 12:49

Follow her around for the rest of the day with your phone out, live streaming her arse for as many people as will watch. Tell her the only way to make you stop is to let you hit her back. Finally, show her your number of views is a grand total of zero, thus proving that all of her presumptuous, ego-fuelled violence was for naught because nobody is interested in her shit valve in the first place. Also, find out where she lives and tell the local Jehova's Witnesses and Mormons that she's interested, because it's always nice to go the extra mile.