By afraidtosleep - 13/10/2012 06:35 - United States - Houston

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 943
You deserved it 6 314

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Check your bedroom thoroughly, if he's not there shut the door put a blanket across the bottom, cover the vents with something that won't catch fire. You are welcome. (;

To do list: - Invent time machine - Go back in time - Find Steve Irwin - Bring him to the future - Deal with snake - Warn Steve about stingrays.


Check your bedroom thoroughly, if he's not there shut the door put a blanket across the bottom, cover the vents with something that won't catch fire. You are welcome. (;

Yeah this, but also search high up places, snakes are excellent climbers.

Also, perhaps get a friend's dog to sniff search. Carefully of course.

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Twice is hardly a lot.

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I hope I'm missing a reference to something because that was the strangest thing I've read today.

Strange? Dude, have you SEEN your profile pic? *shudders*

Anyway, youtube "Red Dwarf." Then, after you get the gist of the show, try youtubeing "Red Dwarf Quarantined." Don't know if you'll find the reference that way but I think it's your best shot. You're welcome.

iOceanus 18

What if it's a ninja snake?

This is for the old fmlers, check under yout umberella

Just trying to help onlychild...

This first comment is great advice. Especially TourettesGuy, always listen to animals! The dog will take you right to it. I understand being afraid to fall asleep considering it will probably try to find something warm to cuddle up to of it didn't find the furnace etc.

MrBond007_fml 6

You can call animal control But the way I see it, you have a new pet!

TorturedXeno 27

What are you going to name it, OP? :D

Fluffy. Mr. Slithers. Bob.

Name him Charmander. Since you saw the snake, do a little research on the interwebz and try to narrow the species down a bit. Depending on where you live, it's probably just a Garter snake and the worst it's going to do is shit in your house. If it's a black mamba, run the fuck away.

I called Animal Control to get a skunk from my house, they wouldn't come unless I knew exactly where it was. I didn't.

I would just put out a heat lamp. They love heat.

MrBond007_fml 6

Melissa, that's actually a brilliant plan, in fact you can blast the air in the house, and leave one heat lamp in the middle of the house to draw it out. It can't service in the cold.

Don't worry, Mr. Bitey just wants to snuggle. :)

"They see me slytherin, they hatin.."

FMLshark 12

Getting hugged by a snake isn't all too fun, they tend to not want to let go.

Snake: LET ME FUCKING LOVE YOU!!! *squeeze* *crack* *squish* Whoops.

...and then slowly kill you.

The killing is only him showing how much he loves you. :)

nick347b 6

Tent the house just to be safe.

For one snake? Please. OP doesn't even know if its venomous or not.

"OP doesn't even know if it's venomous or not." EXACTLY! Although there are more efficient ways of getting rid of the snake. Animal control, perhaps?

Look at the bright side, now you won't have to worry about mice.

The bright side is that it wasn't a spider.

conholio33 28

Calling animal control might be your best shot..... But to be sure check all closed closets and rooms

Pipes! Don't forget any piping. My snake was a master escape artist and could always be found snuggled up under the kitchen sink around pipes! They need the warmth.

Fuck that! Go stay in a hotel or friends house until a snake catcher can take it away. I hate snakes!!

I agree completely

Are you Indiana Jones????

Snakes.. Why did it have to be snakes..

Snakes aren't that bad, I like snakes

if that thing slithered into my house id have a fucking heart attack, id call 911 animal control cia fbi anything to find that motherfucker im scared shitless of snakes

RealTalk0 7

Hey, just lay out a mouse somewhere and you'll find it in no time.

laurbear12 3

Most snakes prefer to kill their it would have to be a live mouse.

It may not be immediately hungry. Many snakes can happily go more than a week without eating. And if it's really large, a mouse may be too small for it to care about. I'd go with calling animal control.

That's actually a pretty good alternative for pest control

look in the sofa that's where my cousins snake went

Or in the mattresses.

ElleYW 10

Really dude, you left it there all day

Wow, you retell it so well!