Health: Today, as always, I have a very weak stomach. I'm in Japan right... - FML

By Anonymous - 06/07/2012 16:04 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, as always, I have a very weak stomach. I'm in Japan right now, and all the unfamiliar foods set me off every time I eat. I can choose between having a great time and starving myself half to death, or sitting in my hotel room all day with stomach pains and diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 646

You deserved it 3 370

Another great day to be alive

Our house, in the middle of our street

This Charming Man

By erin1985 - 22/02/2010 00:31 - Australia

Today, I was out on a date with a guy. I leaned down to get something out of my bag and hit my head on some protruding concrete. I said I was fine. Then blood came running down my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 841

You deserved it 2 874

By Tara115 - 09/02/2014 07:20 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't think he should marry me, because I have kids. They're his kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 014

You deserved it 7 558

By sickness and health my sphincter - 22/03/2013 21:53 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my 2-year-old daughter and my 27-year-old husband both woke me up in the early hours of the morning. Their complaints were the same: they'd both wet the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 293

You deserved it 3 028

By fukinlonely - 12/01/2015 12:53 - United Kingdom

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 634

You deserved it 4 194

By ironyisabitch - 02/06/2012 05:43 - United States - Rohnert Park

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 204

You deserved it 3 059

By Franklin - 29/12/2017 20:00 - United States - Anchorage

Spicy

Today, I walked into a room where my naked "best friend" had set up a romantic scene and attempted to kiss me. It turns out he believed we were in a relationship for the last year and told our entire school. I am 100% straight. This explains why I haven't been able to get laid in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 116

You deserved it 931

Looking for a job?

By Anonymous - 21/06/2021 19:31 - India - Bangalore

Today, the guy we'd offered to hire, who had a 2-month notice period, emailed to say he couldn't come after all, because his employer offered to retain him. In this two-month timeframe, we didn't interview anybody else and now we're in deep shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 428

Testing times

By Anonymous - 13/12/2012 17:04 - United Kingdom - Bromley

Today, I took my driver's test. I was confident and thought everything would go well. My boss ended up calling me several times during the test. Turns out my colleague never showed up to cover for me, and my boss blamed me. Not only did I fail my test, I'm now suspended from work too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 079

You deserved it 2 751

By ThatWasntFun - 29/01/2015 21:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I went to have a pre-cancerous mole removed off of my nose. When the doctor numbed my nose, she didn't check to see if the anesthetic actually worked, and began hacking away at my nose, leaving me to feel every last flick of the razor. Turns out I have an immunity to that anesthetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 417

You deserved it 2 423

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 16:00 - United Kingdom - Thornbury

Today, the only "Happy birthday!" I got was from the cake I bought for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 725

You deserved it 137

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 04:53 - United States

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 047

You deserved it 2 541

By hatemyjob - 23/04/2013 18:25 - United Kingdom - Colchester

Today, I answered a call at work from a very irate gentleman. After being shouted and sworn at profusely, I ended the call in a slightly less than civil manner. Turns out that guy is one of our company's biggest clients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 044

You deserved it 43 619

By laundry day again... - 08/09/2013 13:07 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 655

You deserved it 3 519

Foot in mouth #366

By Anonymous - 14/04/2011 01:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I bumped into an old school friend. I'd heard she was pregnant so the first thing I did was congratulate her. Not only was she not pregnant, but the reason she managed to get so fat was because of comfort eating due to her miscarriage last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 879

You deserved it 7 413

By Anonymous - 20/08/2009 05:30 - United States

Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 755

You deserved it 66 844

By Happy Employee - 31/08/2014 21:51 - United States

Today, I returned from my first paid vacation in the past 2 years from a place with no cell, or internet. I've just found out that our department has been downsized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 226

You deserved it 2 695

I am clumsy!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 18:00

Spicy

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 325

You deserved it 3 010

By Selfish Whiner - 03/06/2013 11:56 - United Kingdom - Scunthorpe

Today, I started seeing a therapist for my depression. While I was looking through the magazines in the waiting room, I found an article accusing people who see therapists of being selfish and having no real problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 943

You deserved it 5 672

By ReboundGrl - 23/05/2016 18:44 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was really happy because the guy I've been on a few dates with wanted to take pictures with me. I thought it'd meant that he really liked me, but it turns out he just wanted them so he could post them online and make his ex-girlfriend jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 756

You deserved it 1 403

By Anonymous - 31/01/2013 07:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 869

You deserved it 5 746

By John - 30/06/2011 08:18 - United States

Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 289

You deserved it 3 591

By fatman - 14/12/2009 18:49 - United States

Today, I was on a plane. The person sitting next to me was using the plane's wifi, and was on Facebook. They joined the group 'I hate sitting next to fat people on airplanes'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 670

You deserved it 11 766

By knicksfan - 05/04/2009 05:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had bought and left at her house. There were 8 left and I wasn't the one who opened them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 813

You deserved it 6 575

By Anonymous - 30/01/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 826

You deserved it 8 614

By DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE - 22/11/2012 21:03 - United States - Schertz

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 706

You deserved it 1 950

By Eric - 13/05/2011 02:19

Today, I saw my dad chugging a beer in the garage. Why is that so bad? He was hosting an AA meeting in the basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 548

You deserved it 2 884

By Sad elf - 15/12/2016 13:42 - Australia - Brookfield

Today, after weeks of tirelessly organising a Secret Santa with work colleagues, we finally exchanged gifts. I got a stapler, which had been stolen from my desk the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 836

You deserved it 647

By possibly a sweater - 05/12/2013 22:26 - United States - Wharton

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 428

You deserved it 24 293

By Tony - 30/11/2010 11:30

Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 732

You deserved it 2 576

By InnocenceBlue - 01/08/2019 12:00

Today, as always, my mother hates my life choices. Particularly my hair for some reason. As she's always whinging about it being dyed blonde, I dyed it back to my natural colour again to appease her, and stop the constant bullying. She hates it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 635

You deserved it 181

By Anonymous - 19/06/2016 20:06 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I declared I was done with online dating after several disasters. My friend set me up with a friend of her husband's. Turns out he's one of the men who rejected me on the website. He laughed when he saw me and said, "Well, this is awkward" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 526

You deserved it 961

By annoyedwithkids - 02/07/2011 05:48 - Canada

Today, I was baby sitting ten year old twins. When they first saw me, they ran away screaming and hid in the closet. This isn't the first house where this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 578

You deserved it 5 386

By Anonymous - 16/06/2019 00:01

Today, my 16-year-old cousin told me she was "late." When I asked if she could be pregnant, she said no, because, "you can't get pregnant the first time you have sex." I ended up having to give her the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 420

You deserved it 204

Stranger danger

By erin - 02/04/2021 10:59

Today, I saw a girl with the same shirt as me. I excitedly pointed it out. She punched me in the face. I didn’t think people actually got mad about that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 73

Anonymity

By Anonymous - 18/05/2016 17:51 - United States - Westfield

Today, I got my grades back. I got a very poor evaluation for my lit class, which was odd because it didn't match the impression from my end-of-class meeting with the professor. It does, however, include a nod to the supposedly-anonymous negative class review I gave her, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 078

You deserved it 1 638

Volcanic eruption

By Anonymous - 10/01/2020 18:00

Spicy

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 222

You deserved it 920

By the_pheasant66 - 26/06/2010 10:31 - Ireland

Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. When I got home to show my family, my little sister said, "That's so fake!" and tore it off my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 042

You deserved it 10 995

Can't win

By Anonymous - 18/03/2021 03:00 - Philippines - Manila

Today, my mom told me to stop using my phone and talk to them, but whenever I do that, they just end up yelling at me and telling me to go to my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 100

By Anonymous - 01/02/2011 02:39 - United States

Today, I politely complimented a stranger's excellent posture. She responded by saying "I have a metal rod in my back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 506

You deserved it 7 167

Pillow Fight Club!

By Crushingdefeat - 05/07/2021 18:03 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my girlfriend and I babysat our neighbors' 10 year-old. After a while, he challenged us to a pillow fight. I opted out, but she accepted. I went to use the bathroom and I came back to find her face down on the floor, as he sat on her back bashing a pillow against her head. What the hell did I miss? FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 103

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Saturday 7 July 2012 0:54

Split the difference. Eat some rice and have a nice time :)

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Saturday 7 July 2012 0:58

Find a McDonalds. Problem solved. c:

Comments

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Saturday 7 July 2012 0:54

Split the difference. Eat some rice and have a nice time :)

TheVelocirabbit 10

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Saturday 7 July 2012 2:41

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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Saturday 7 July 2012 2:49

Can't decide if... nah, must be trolling, nobody's that stupid. Go for teriyaki chicken and rice. Most places will have it in some form and it's easy on the stomach.

TheVelocirabbit 10

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Saturday 7 July 2012 2:59

Yes I was trolling. Hehe, I agree it was horrible. I'll now delete it.

grahambertus 11

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Saturday 7 July 2012 3:24

Or just get MacDonalds. Or as they say it in japan: "Makodunarudo" (not a racist joke, actual pronunciation)

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Saturday 7 July 2012 4:46

they do have grocery stores with foreign food, mc donalds and starbucks +++ you can also get hamburgers/pizza pretty much everywhere. And normal supermarkets also sell bread, cheese, yoghurt etc. I've never had any problem with finding food I'm used to... hope you find a solution op! ^^; feel better soon!

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Saturday 7 July 2012 5:04

#33, rice is for all asians. veitnamese, china, philipino, korean, japan, taiwanese... etc. i could keep going.

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Saturday 7 July 2012 5:41

Yup, exactly everyone in the us eats rice and ramen noodles (almost) and like comment above me pizza and starbucks maconalds is a bit different and pizza everywhere, yes I know because I've been there 10 times

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Saturday 7 July 2012 12:39

OMG I'm in the exact same situation in Taiwan. I had to say no to yakiniku :(

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Saturday 7 July 2012 17:13

Eat what you can spell

snowboarder531 5

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Saturday 7 July 2012 0:57

Just eat whatever American candy they happen to have in Japan.

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Saturday 7 July 2012 1:12

I'm in japan too. They don't really have american candy here.

snowboarder531 5

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Saturday 7 July 2012 1:30

Well nevermind then.

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Saturday 7 July 2012 2:07

They did when I was there

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Saturday 7 July 2012 2:40

Yeah me too. Just eat snacks all the time! Japanese junk food is the best!

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Sunday 8 July 2012 8:09

Or Pocky! Mmm... Pocky...

music_woman1 11

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Saturday 7 July 2012 0:57

It won be a great holiday, will it :( maybe you should've taken some food from home? You could try to see if a shop or supermarket sells anything that your stomach can keep down

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Saturday 7 July 2012 12:18

Common food is all over the place, so OP shouldn't worry.

qwtf 14

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Saturday 7 July 2012 0:58

I don't eat fish so when I was in Japan it was hard. Try ramen noodles or beef hash, both are really good for Americans. Its what I ate for over two weeks. Enjoy the trip!!

rikitsumiatsu 11

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Saturday 7 July 2012 6:53

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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Saturday 7 July 2012 6:58

Not everyone enjoys the same things as you. Just a thought.

metaphoristic 8

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Saturday 7 July 2012 9:28

Some people are allergic to fish

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Saturday 7 July 2012 13:05

Not all people in one country are the same. He was just suggesting food that wouldn't be so different and would be easy to eat. When you travel, food that you're not used to can be hard to digest. You can get really sick.

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Saturday 7 July 2012 0:58

Find a McDonalds. Problem solved. c:

MerrikBarbarian 9

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Saturday 7 July 2012 1:02

Not really- mcdonalds in Japan has a lot of menu items unique to japan... And few American items

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Saturday 7 July 2012 1:43

Because if you have a sensitive stomach, you can't do better than ultra-processed gobs of salt and grease.

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Saturday 7 July 2012 2:17

Redrey you made me laugh loudly. True dat.

MerrikBarbarian 9

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Saturday 7 July 2012 1:06

If you are in Tokyo you can probably find American food. If you are in smaller towns- pro tip to avoid food poisoning. Go to either very high end places with glass windows into the kitchen or open air stalls where you can watch your food prepared. The middle of the line places often practice poor hygiene and food safety, and you won't know because they have closed kitchens.

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Saturday 7 July 2012 2:50

The food stalls/carts in Kyoto have excellent food. I can't speak for elsewhere, it's the only city I visited.

Jf770 10

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Saturday 7 July 2012 1:08

Get some crackers and just eat them throughout the day. I have a weak stomach too:|

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Saturday 7 July 2012 1:08

Bread, rice, noodles and so many foods are sure to be near you. You just have to look! You could make a breadcrumb salad with a side dish of rice and for desert, bland noodles.

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Saturday 7 July 2012 1:11

Don't they have a McDonald's there? Fat and having a good time, only way to go:p

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Saturday 7 July 2012 1:15

They have Subway in Tokyo -- it's the same as the U.S. version (from what I remember).

Nearly

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

Today, I found out my mother listens to my therapy sessions. She’s the reason I need therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 32

Today, I’d been bicurious for years but always much too shy to seek out a woman to attempt intimacy. Well, I finally hooked up with a girl I’ve had a crush on for a while. Not only was it an amazing, mind-blowing experience, she also left me with a crotch searing yeast infection from hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 275