Money: Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable,... - FML

By LightsOut - United States - Melbourne

Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML

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Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Clean break

Stalker vibes

By Anonymous - United States - Beaverton

Today, I had my first job interview after three years of unemployment. I was so happy that I broke down into tears the moment I saw the interviewer. Great first impression. FML

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By WorstLifeEver - United States

Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse. When I bent down to pick it up, some guy came up behind me, humped my ass, then ran away laughing. FML

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By Spockx - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML

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By fml9124 - 6/6/2021 14:01

Sometimes the truth is too weird to believe

Today, my mom grounded me for smoking cigarettes. I'm 13. I don't smoke. She said she smelled it on my clothes. I laughed and said I was in the basement, and used one of my dad's cig's to simulate a house on fire on my train layout. She didn't believe me. Honestly, I wouldn't believe that story either. FML

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By Eddy - United States - Mountain Pine

Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML

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By yourmainman - Canada

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

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By jaycee - United States

Today, after having finally summoned the nerve to report a guy at my workplace who has been sexually harassing me for months, I got a phone call from my boss. He said that there was nothing he could do about it, because the guy "wouldn't confess." FML

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By hdkgdkvdjd - United States

Today, I bought cupcakes from a bakery by my work. I took them home, at which point my mother screamed at me because she's on a diet. Hours later I found the whole box empty. Great self-control, mom. FML

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By Icy

Lost

Today, I was writing to my girlfriend on MSN when her roommate answered, "Sorry, this isn't Marie, she's at her boyfriend’s." Really? I've looked everywhere in my apartment, and I can’t find her. FML

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By dear god help me. - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

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By SupposedlyAverage - United States

Today, my fiancé proposed to me. He said, "I could have picked anyone, but I chose you. You're a solid 2, which is average. Not a 10, but I'm glad you're a 2. Less pressure, ya know." I'm not sure if I should be more upset with the fact that I'm "average", or the fact that he thought this was romantic. FML

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By LesboLover

Today, I found out that my crush is a lesbian. Everyone knew about it. Everyone also knew that I liked her. No one told me. FML

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By Recluse

Today, the girl I'd been dating online for 6 months told me she was a guy. I said it was alright, and that I was still in love. Then she confessed she really was a girl, and was just trying to make me dump her so she wouldn't be the "bad guy". FML

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By Mamasboyhater - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me because his mom told him to. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

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By tobuscus9412 - Australia - Woronora

Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Seattle

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

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By arachnidphobia - United States

Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML

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By NowBubbleWrapSucks

Today, my mom went into a full war against dirt and plastic-wrapped our entire house. The floor, furniture, even our feet now have to be covered in plastic. Everything squeaks. FML

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By whatswrongwithit?:( - United States - Chicago

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML

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By usafprog - United States

Today, while spray painting a rocking horse for my kids I left the can outside in the sun. When I picked it up it was hot to the touch and I dropped it. It exploded on impact and now I am more blue than the rocking horse. FML

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By Idiocracy - United States

Today, my boss confessed to me that she doesn't know how to change the staples in the staplers at work, so she just switches them when they run out. We work at an office supply store. She makes six figures. I make $10 an hour. And she just got awarded a trip to Aruba for doing a "great job". FML

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By erlad678

Today, I was woken up by the sound of part of my kitchen ceiling hitting the floor. FML

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By ZombieGirl0417 - United States - Jupiter

Today, my aunt asked to see my new airsoft pistol. Not thinking anything of it, I handed it to her. She shot me in the leg. I was standing next to her. FML

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By wtf babe? - 29/6/2020 14:02

Intruders!

Today, I came home to find my husband allowed several of his family members to move in without even asking me. His parents are in the spare room, his brother and wife are in my den and they expect me to make my daughter share her bed with two older cousins. I’m ready to take the kids and leave. FML

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By Anonymous - Italy - Bologna

Today, my dog apparently vomited straight down a heating vent while I was out. The stench was so bad that when I got home and the smell hit me, I threw up too. Looks like I'll be spending a few days with my mother as the house airs out. FML

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By cassieono - United States - Springfield

Today, I nearly had an anxiety attack trying to sneak up on my sister to silly-string her. FML

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By Mikey - United States

Today, I finally got cleared after my knee surgery and wanted to go salsa dancing with a girl I liked. So we went and I thought I would show off a little bit and try to dip her and kiss her. Turns out my knee isn't strong enough and now she won't talk to me after dropping her on the floor. FML

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By gingerninja - United Kingdom

Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I walked in on my little brother dressing up like Billie Eilish, his new favorite singer. He tore up some of my favorite clothes to make the outfits. FML

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By I have Flashbacks Now - United States - Woonsocket

Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML

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By Anonymous - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

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By LifeSucks

Today, I came home to an empty house. I found a note from my wife telling me she was bisexual and found love in a woman. I FaceTimed my sister to tell her about it, and who do I see with her? My wife. FML

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By justgreatgirl - United States

Today, I found out that even after a really bad break up and the fact that I left him for someone else, my parents offered my ex-boyfriend to join us on a one week family vacation. He agreed. FML

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By alicia75 - United States - Elkhart

Today, my teacher told us at least 7 different stories about his cat, Jeremy, and how much he eats. And he wonders why we never get anything done in his class. FML

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By IAMALITAHA - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, I had a job interview where I was interrupted for using the word creative because there is "only one creator". FML

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By mcullen21 - United States

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

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By brokedad - United States

Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML

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By parasheeeet - United States - Birmingham

Today, after months of trying to train my cockatiel to perch on my finger, he finally trusted me enough to fly from his cage and land on my hand. I panicked and accidentally backhanded him across the room. FML

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Top comments

By flockz | 19

#5502021 - Wednesday 22 May 2013 9:01

not the internet!

By just_someguy | 6

#5502042 - Wednesday 22 May 2013 9:12

call the cops on her

COMMENTS

By flockz | 19

#5502021 - Wednesday 22 May 2013 9:01

not the internet!

Reply

Welshite | 39

#5502036 - Wednesday 22 May 2013 9:07

Classic flockz. You'd neglect basic hygiene like showers for the internet, wouldn't you?

Reply

Kallian_fml | 21

#5502049 - Wednesday 22 May 2013 9:16

Who showers when they have Internet?

Reply

flockz | 19

#5502053 - Wednesday 22 May 2013 9:21

well ya i don't get wifi in my bathroom.

Reply

lambda_fml | 40

#5502273 - Wednesday 22 May 2013 13:44

#12 I do. And it makes the experience a whole lot better, if you know what I mean. ;-)

Reply

Sandman366 | 6

#5502337 - Wednesday 22 May 2013 15:21

12- I do. ;)

By Welshite | 39

#5502022 - Wednesday 22 May 2013 9:01

I'd say move in with her in retaliation, but that just seems cruel to you.

Reply

browneyedgirl52 | 13

#5502260 - Wednesday 22 May 2013 13:22

Yeah don't do that, especially since now you're both broke. Try paying your bills online once your Internet is working and until then, you should drop them directly in a mailbox.

Reply

fareith | 15

#5502356 - Wednesday 22 May 2013 15:47

Get your husband/wife to speak to her..

By chanellgymnast | 17

#5502024 - Wednesday 22 May 2013 9:02

Ugh. Monster-in-laws...

By Senseless_487 | 29

#5502025 - Wednesday 22 May 2013 9:02

How was she even cashing the money orders? They have to be filled out similarly to checks.

Reply

listofrandom | 13

#5502366 - Wednesday 22 May 2013 15:58

There are some money orders that are just money in an envelop.

Reply

listofrandom | 13

#5502368 - Wednesday 22 May 2013 16:00

Or, she's just keeping them because she's insane.

Reply

buckerado | 19

#5502968 - Thursday 23 May 2013 0:58

Why does she have a key to OP's mailbox(assuming that the mailbox needs a key)?

Reply

botanistjessica | 24

#5502997 - Thursday 23 May 2013 1:40

Unless you live in an apartment, most mailboxes don't need keys.

Reply

Senseless_487 | 29

#5503012 - Thursday 23 May 2013 1:54

64, that isn't a money order. That's called "cash in an envelope."

Reply

Soloman212 | 28

#5503750 - Thursday 23 May 2013 18:16

Isn't "order" French for "in an envelope"؟

Reply

EatUrGreens | 20

#6315068 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 8:18

#109 Um no.. lmfao

By yoimtrollin | 24

#5502026 - Wednesday 22 May 2013 9:02

That really blows, sorry OP

By Reaper1984 | 13

#5502028 - Wednesday 22 May 2013 9:03

At least she is a thoughtful thief, even though she didn't think that one through, sorry op.

Reply

Danielle7994 | 18

#5502372 - Wednesday 22 May 2013 16:04

She might be more clever than thoughtful. I mean to me it sounds like she tried to cover her tracks. But when she got caught, she probably felt Like saying that to save herself.

By just_someguy | 6

#5502042 - Wednesday 22 May 2013 9:12

call the cops on her

Reply

SpamPam | 18

#5502340 - Wednesday 22 May 2013 15:22

I believe messing with someone's mail is a federal crime. Then there is stealing on top of that.

Reply

DarksideDoll | 31

#6205554 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 5:53

Then once your internet is up & running, perhaps consider switching to online banking.

By Mynameislinh | 24

#5502046 - Wednesday 22 May 2013 9:14

That's just... cruel. I would figure out another way to receive notices from the companies besides through mail. FYL.

By TheNewGuy03 | 28

#5502048 - Wednesday 22 May 2013 9:15

Looks like her plan to not make you mad failed

By RodzillaX | 30

#5502060 - Wednesday 22 May 2013 9:24

So were you mad?