By fappy dog - 23/01/2014 21:06 - United States - Granite City

Spicy
Today, and for the past week, my dog started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML
I agree, your life sucks 50 510
You deserved it 11 238

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

That's a weird sixth sense for a dog to have...

Your dog has turned on you

Comments

Your dog has turned on you

More like 'turned OP in'.

colton_colton 49

Maybe lock the dog outside for a bit. Theres bad, and then there's your mom walking in on you bad

More like 'turned OP on'.

Your dog is a real wanker...

Look I'm on the dog's side. I wouldn't want to get pet by that same hand either...

Is he inside the room or outside? Because if he's inside then I'd see why maybe he wants out lol and if outside? Then you're dog is just an asshole.

I read that as "your dog turned you on". Must stop skimming through comments. :-/

no longer man's best friend... smh

That's a weird sixth sense for a dog to have...

Err... I thought hearing was one of the regular senses? Especially for a dog!

Probably thinks he's hurting himself.

I bet doggy can smell it too!

That's so nasty

Not as nasty as your 27 inches!

You'll grow up eventually.

What a bitch move

Take it as a sign. If you did that for the past week. And you did it "today" might want to give it a break OP

Does it break?

Yes it does break. Trust me *sigh* :(

I see what you did there.

Haha haha. Bad dog!

That space between the two haha's annoys me

i like it, kinda like a high mandark

That pointlessness of the comment annoys me.

Your dog is your biggest cockblock with your right hand, unless of course you are left handed...

It's myle (left) and myra (right) if your going to say it say it right

either hand op's dog is still barking up the wrong tree.

Actually #52 it's HANDjolina Jolie and Scarlett JoHANDsson

Or Pamela HANDerson

HANDah Montana is what my ex called his hand.

#119 I assume that's why he's your ex.

"Richard, who's your favorite little rascal? Is it Alphalpha, or is it Spanky? Sinner."

it's PALMela HANDerson.

Your dog wants you to throw the bone.

Oh he's not just throwing it, he is tossing it so hard but the dog is still not receiving it.

play some music while your doing business to throw the bloodhound off. funny how your mom is keen on what the dog is barking about.

It probably already has the smell of the testosterone and sweat memorized.

Then spray some febreeze at the door too

Time to turn to bestiality.

No what's wrong with you?

I'm wondering if your dog is inside or outside your door. It's hard to imagine why you'd have your dog inside your room while you were masterbating..

Considering OP states that the dog is barking "at the door" I think we can presume the dog is outside but who knows.

Dogs are hypothetical and judgemental assholes. They go to town liking themselves in the middle of the living room and get mad at you when you try to do it in privacy.

Do you know what hypothetical means?

You have 120 whole seconds to edit your comment after you post it.

Well maybe the dog /is/ hypothetical, and it was all just OP's guilt about masturbating trying to tell him something.

You mean hypocritical?

Crap.. I did mean hypocritical. I need to learn to proof read my shit.

And it was also supposed to say *licking. I fear I have angered the grammar gods and must atone for my sins.

I kind of like "liking themselves" as a euphemism for licking your own penis.

you're the first person I've ever in my life heard say something so negative about dogs in general. when a child does something wrong people say "blame the parents!" I think this applies to pets some too. if you don't like dogs, you probably haven't trained it right.