Today, all of the long hours I've spent rehearsing paid off because...

By Belle - 8/4/2016 18:11 - United States - Berwyn

Today, all of the long hours I've spent rehearsing paid off because tonight I'll be the lead at the opening show of my school musical. This is a dream come true. Too bad I just got bronchitis. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20023

You deserved it

1353

Favorite

Health

Double standards

Who's a good boy?

Whatthefuckaburger

By Wolf145 - 11/10/2012 05:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a haunted house opened up next to my restaurant and they've gotten into the habit of scaring me as I'm cleaning up at night. They stay open for another month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24749

You deserved it

2199

Favorite

By Anonymous - 22/7/2013 15:58 - United Kingdom - Westbury

Today, I couldn't move without people talking to me about the "Royal Baby". It's like it's actually going to have an effect on my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45702

You deserved it

6331

Favorite

By 1234567898765432 - 27/3/2009 16:47 - Canada

Today, I was going to a stoplight party. Green shirt=single, yellow=hard to get and red=taken. I show up wearing a red shirt and I see my boyfriend in a green shirt. Thinking it was a mistake, I ask him jokingly why he isn't wearing red. He looks at me weird and says, "Oh, you didn't get my text?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

112967

You deserved it

6049

Favorite

By Yes - 24/11/2009 16:08 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me to come over because we "needed to talk." Going down the stairs, I tripped and fell. I woke up from unconsciousness with a hurting leg and my boyfriend standing over me. Just as I was about to smile and ask for a kiss, he said, "Maybe we should take a break" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34348

You deserved it

3341

Favorite

By NoColor - 29/10/2014 13:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my little sister decided to color-in my favorite black-and-white comic book. It was worth over $200. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh that old thing? I thought it was a stupid coloring book you were too stupid to color." FML

I agree, your life sucks

43366

You deserved it

4273

Favorite

By Anonymous - 23/10/2010 09:07 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42638

You deserved it

9280

Favorite

By boudinette - 15/4/2015 10:14 - France - Saint-martin-d'heres

Today, I received the beautiful dress I'd ordered on the internet. It's a size smaller than my usual, just to encourage me to lose weight. I managed to fit into it and wear it all day, but I've now been struggling for a couple of hours to remove it without tearing it to bits. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28688

You deserved it

14112

Favorite

By Rob - 7/11/2018 03:00

Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4600

You deserved it

345

Favorite

By Anonymous - 4/7/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, I went swimming with this guy I like at dammed river. While we were jumping off the dam, I decided to try to impress him by doing a front flip. I didn't jump far enough off, so when I went to flip, my face skidded down the concrete wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34792

You deserved it

44695

Favorite

By ms98 - 5/8/2014 04:52 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I was shopping when I suddenly slipped on the wet floor and my basket and my groceries were flung everywhere. Moments later, one of the cleaners walked over holding a "wet floor" sign, saw me and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44617

You deserved it

3653

Favorite

By MaydayManic - 10/8/2011 13:11 - United States

Today, I finally went to my boyfriend's house to meet his family. When they were giving me a tour of the house, I noticed a Nazi flag on my boyfriend's bedroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41905

You deserved it

5019

Favorite

By Anonymous - 1/12/2012 17:01 - United States - Portland

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31226

You deserved it

3079

Favorite

By Not dying. - 21/4/2015 07:55 - United Kingdom - Watford

Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28920

You deserved it

10789

Favorite

By Nutless - 2/4/2009 00:34 - United States

Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML

I agree, your life sucks

62399

You deserved it

12388

Favorite

By ringmaster101 - 4/3/2009 23:42 - United States

Today, I went to the jewelry store to sell my wedding ring after a long and painful divorce. The shop owner took one look at it and called the cops because I tried to sell him a diamond ring that had been stolen from him 3 years ago. My ex-husband left the country a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

76808

You deserved it

3348

Favorite

By ChessNut - 27/11/2018 12:00

Today, a girl I'd been crushing on for a little while and I were talking about autism. Some of the last words she said were "I try to not find autistic people so fucking annoying, but I can't help it. But can you blame me?” I'm autistic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3180

You deserved it

246

Favorite

By Unloveable - 13/6/2016 16:32 - United States - Priest River

Today, my boyfriend of six years broke up with me over video chat. Two days before I was to move across the country to be with him. All of my things are already shipped. He said he thinks of me as a sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16274

You deserved it

1046

Favorite

By Anonymous - 28/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36624

You deserved it

3568

Favorite

By JBK06262009 - 12/11/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, I was informed by my boss that he has been stealing quarters out of my change bowl to pay for his bus rides. He makes six times the amount I make. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35956

You deserved it

2407

Favorite

By waitforit - 23/4/2009 11:42 - United States

Today, I thought it would be really hot to watch porn while my girlfriend and I were having sex. I got so hot and aroused that I came before the previews even ended. That was less than one minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20309

You deserved it

93470

Favorite

By avanti - 24/4/2009 06:41 - United States

Today, I was studying for a midterm, so I put my computer on the side of my desk to make more room for my books. My roommate came in while I wasn't paying attention and tackle-hugged me from behind - I fell over, knocking my computer out the window. I live on the 8th floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61513

You deserved it

7893

Favorite

By WickedRene - 2/8/2014 01:57 - United States - Rochester

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

I agree, your life sucks

48809

You deserved it

8186

Favorite

By Michael978 - 29/4/2016 03:40

Today, I was teaching a friend to squat. While I was spotting him, he decided it would be a great idea to turn around. This wouldn't have been a problem, if he hadn't hit me in the face with the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12741

You deserved it

1024

Favorite

By Shauna - 8/11/2012 11:09 - United States

Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33084

You deserved it

2558

Favorite

By GetAnotherRoomAlready - 12/3/2016 05:58 - United States - Singapore

Today, I woke up at 2 AM to the sounds of my roommate and his girlfriend on Skype, playing a game of, "No, I love YOU more, baby, schmoopy schmoopy schmoopy schmoo". It went on for around half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19754

You deserved it

1675

Favorite

By Crystal - 10/1/2009 08:21 - France

Today, I was so bored that I filmed my goldfish while it was eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24753

You deserved it

6177

Favorite

By couldntholdit - 12/7/2011 17:09 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43266

You deserved it

23890

Favorite

By Chrissy - 8/2/2010 20:24 - United States

Today, I found out that the necklace my boyfriend gave me for my birthday was actually a gift he'd given to his ex girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31093

You deserved it

3011

Favorite

By Anonymous - 13/5/2009 07:13 - United States

Today, I was cleaning my apartment because I'm moving. I was being really thorough so I could get as much of the damage deposit back as possible. I noticed I still had one of those 3M plastic hooks on the wall, and when I went to carefully take it off, a large chunk of the wall came with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46963

You deserved it

8419

Favorite

By womanoski - 20/2/2016 17:56 - United States - Fishers

Today, while taking a bus full of loud, rambunctious elementary children to school, the bus slowly slid off the road into a ditch. After waiting 30 minutes that felt like hours, I saw the tow truck arriving from the opposite direction also slide slowly off the roadway into the opposite ditch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22355

You deserved it

1446

Favorite

By xTRYSOFTx - 7/3/2020 03:00 - United States

Crime scene

Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

444

You deserved it

1911

Favorite

By facepalm - 18/11/2015 15:42 - United States

Today, my brother called me a clueless idiot after I told him that odometers measure distance traveled, not a person's body odor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24586

You deserved it

1801

Favorite

By Courtney Micallef - 2/4/2020 08:00

Early learner

Today, I was teaching my one-year-old some new words. He pointed to the picture of the pig and said, "Mama". Guess I better start that diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1400

You deserved it

270

Favorite

By lprocter1982 - 8/11/2011 03:17 - Canada

Today, I got shot at. Not by police, but by a hunter. While at work. Driving a garbage truck. How the hell a hunter mistook an orange-clad garbageman in a truck for a deer is beyond me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36266

You deserved it

2946

Favorite

By scratchy - 8/2/2011 21:39

Today, my "friend" put itching powder in my cast while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36086

You deserved it

2725

Favorite

By angryman - 28/12/2015 09:07

Today, I was playing what became an extremely intense game of hide-and-seek with my best friend's sister. I finally found the perfect place, so I slid down into the bath and began to cover myself. She popped up out of nowhere and said, "FOUND YOU!" I got so scared that I punched her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32653

You deserved it

8057

Favorite

By Anonymous - 14/7/2018 05:00

Today, my 92-year-old great-grandfather ran down the stairs in excitement, despite his severe arthritis. He told my great-grandmother that he was having the first erection in over 10 years, and grandma ordered me to leave so they could do it right there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4547

You deserved it

723

Favorite

By kkmirw - 14/10/2019 05:00

Pissed

Today, a colostomy bag exploded on me while I was waiting in line at the pharmacy. Yesterday, my shoes were peed on by a child while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1692

You deserved it

Favorite

By Anonymous - 29/3/2013 01:13 - United States - Sunnyvale

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45069

You deserved it

18769

Favorite

By mr_cheese - 22/10/2014 20:24 - United States - Seattle

Today, I discovered that if you heckle a mime, it's possible that the mime will actually kick your ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17430

You deserved it

39952

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By extrasnipes | 22

#6576735 - Saturday 9 April 2016 2:14

You should hope it doesn't last lung.

By Psycocharger | 19

#6576723 - Saturday 9 April 2016 2:12

Really unfortunate OP. Hopefully you get better and have an even better opportunity soon!

Comments

By Jpres1 | 16

#6576711 - Saturday 9 April 2016 2:10

Damn that sucks, OP

By Zelphoric | 25

#6576719 - Saturday 9 April 2016 2:11

:( Ain't nobody got time for that!

By Psycocharger | 19

#6576723 - Saturday 9 April 2016 2:12

Really unfortunate OP. Hopefully you get better and have an even better opportunity soon!

By DaniealThePope | 18

#6576724 - Saturday 9 April 2016 2:13

R.I.P hopefully there's a next time.

Arkham_Callabero | 15

#6576806 - Saturday 9 April 2016 4:08

The RIP wasn't necessary

domolovesyoshi | 33

#6576861 - Saturday 9 April 2016 6:10

Rest in peace is something you tell someone in condolences of their loss, completely inappropriate in this case.

DaniealThePope | 18

#6579097 - Tuesday 12 April 2016 18:37

Can no one take a joke.

By HoboMeth | 32

#6576730 - Saturday 9 April 2016 2:14

Can you contact them and ask them to extend the date?

MdMan3 | 17

#6576733 - Saturday 9 April 2016 2:14

They wouldn't just change the date because the lead got bronchitis. This is why they have an understudy, so the show can go on if the lead is in a situation where they can't perform.

RadiantAerynSun | 2

#6577314 - Saturday 9 April 2016 21:27

A LOT goes into producing a play. 1 actor being unavailable is not enough to change the date. Nor should 1 person expect everyone else to change plans for them.