By Anonymous - 23/08/2016 12:40 - United States - Youngsville
Add a comment - Reply to : #
In the light of our current society's values, the huge number of divorces and the weakened value system (if a uniform one still exists at all), I would say the OP has had enough reasons of experiencing a doubt. Just look at how many "my new baby is my half brother" and "my boyfriend is cheating" stories we've got around here. Isn't it arrogant to say that it is utterly impossible for your mate to do that?
I want to add that in my opinion the OP's reaction is a sign of care that could be justified by pure intentions. There's a difference between being obsessive and not trusting and justifying your trust once in a lifetime. I encourage you all to try and understand the emotions behind that doubt and the leading reaction. It's far worse to just decide your spouse is cheating on you or not to care at all (the second is indicative of you doing the same thing)
Ok, just no, society's value system have not weakened. There's more divorces now because people are actually ALLOWED to get divorced, it used to be pretty much illegal. And I'm sorry, but saying society's value system has weakened because we don't force people to stay in unloving, hopeless situations just because of some ceremony they participated in, and a piece of paper they signed, that's just stupid. A marriage is a contract, and people are allowed to terminate a contract if it's not working out. The stories you see here are a poor indication of society as a whole. This is a place for fucked up stories, that does not mean these stories are the majority. Many think cheating has increased, it hasn't. The only difference is with social media it's a lot easier to get caught now, and the victim will sometimes announce it to the world to shame them. It's seen more, that doesn't mean there is more. Nothing is impossible, but it is YOUR job to know your relationship and your partner. If you have no confidence in your partner to be loyal and trustworthy, then it's an unhealthy, doomed relationship. Relationships, like everything, have risks, if you want to be in one, you need to accept that. Risks don't mean it will happen, it means it can, but you do not get to be an untrusting jackass because of something that MIGHT happen. When I walk outside, I might get hit by a car, does that mean I should never go outside? Relationships are a risk, but it's one you decided to go for, and you do not get to stalk and control, because of a risk YOU decided to take.
I'd also like to add that the whole 'it's a sign of care' to suspect your partner of cheating is pretty damn close to the 'I'm doing this to you because I love you' mindset that domestic abusers show. I hope OP realized how idiotic it was to basically stalk his wife when she was simply having fun with her friends, but you should too, #108. Accusing your partner of being unfaithful just because they have a new hobby is NOT 'having pure intentions'. It means you're insecure and there's a significant lack of trust in your relationship. After all, instead of spending two weeks doing 'detective work', he simply could've asked her if he could join her for a round of table tennis.
#137- Easy... There's been no "weakening" of marriages. Humans have been doing the same shit since their inception. Yes, divorces are more common then they were when it was harder to get (My great-great-great grandmother was one of the first women in America to divorce her husband). No, back in the day men would cheat on the side, often without trying to hide it and their wives would be forced to accept it. It was a scandal to even mention divorce. Besides, it was hard for a woman to find well paying work as it was a "man's duty" to provide for his wife and children. Just because people were basically forced to stay in marriages, it didn't mean they were happy marriages. There is also the issue that humans today live well into their 70's and 80's. "Till death do you part" was an actual promise back in the old days, because your partner was way more likely to die than they are today. Why do you think so many fairy tales revolve around an "Evil" Step-mother?
Clearly, your wife does. YDI, you should be more trusting of your wife, and less... condescending about the activity she enjoys.
Yeah, there never is a sex indicator symbol on my phone, so this very easily could've been read from my perspective as a woman OP. And man or woman, if you're having a trust issue with your spouse, that's something you should talk about together. Not send a PI just because you don't think their sport of choice is good enough.
Actually, I would've said the same had the OP been a woman. If you think your partner is cheating, practically stalking them (I'm thinking he followed her around considering he said "intense detective work") is not the way to go about handling it regardless of if you're a man or a woman.
I would have assumed cheating just like OP, but I wouldn't stalk. So much faster to just confront it verbally. How hard is it to just ask to go with? Or ask to prove she's going where she is going because you have doubts. Stalking her means you expect her to be cheating. I'd only expect a woman to be cheating if she goes on weekly "business trips". OK.
I'm sorry to read that, OP. Perhaps you two could see a counselor until she's comfortable enough to stop playing table tennis and start cheating on you.
Vamp really is clairvoyant. Vikky538, I know I exceeded our usual limit, but it's total bullshit that you brought it up in public when you know damn well I'm insured to reach sarcasm levels in the millions! I'm totally good for it, man! Really, Brownapple? Even after all we've been through, you still love me? I posted a few comments, you told me you loved me—I just don't know how you can look past this history we share. You're a bigger person than me, that's for sure.
So is this an FML because you thought that she was lying and was actually cheating on you, or that she was telling the truth and really does play Table Tennis?
Everyone I know does at some time or other , especially at parties when we all pit again each other by running around the table taking turns to hit the ball. It's cheap, easy to learn ,great fun with friends and low key, you can always play indoors when the weather's foul, you don't have to train for years to enjoy yourself, it's good exercise and anyone can join whatever their level. what's wrong with this ? Don't be such a snob . Be happy your wife is looking after herself and meeting friends in real life. Grab a racket and enjoy.
I thought you were talking about cheating #10. I got the part about indoors and no experience necessary. But the part about running around the table and being pit against each other at parties had me thinking, 'Maybe there's something I'm missing when it comes to sex.'