Today, after taking a refreshing shower, I found out that due... - FML

By Roger Quimble

Today, after taking a refreshing shower, I found out that due to a newly-built platform, people in the apartment underneath can see right into my bedroom. While I was standing there completely naked, some guy smiled at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1810

You deserved it

230

Tweet

Share

Our house, in the middle of our street

Risky business

Optimism

By Anonymous - 18/7/2020 17:01

Seagull on wheels

Today, I found out the hard way what it feels like to have a seagull poo on your face while cycling. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1342

You deserved it

125

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Letchworth

Today, my dad stood by and nodded in agreement as my sister told me that my clinical depression is "getting REALLY old." FML

I agree, your life sucks

31434

You deserved it

4009

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Germany

Today, I worked in a clinic as a intern. A nurse was called to dry a woman's hair. I followed her, trying to be a good intern. After the nurse was done, the 72 year old woman took off her bathrobe. While looking at me she sat down, her legs wide open. And, yes, she knew she was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40328

You deserved it

3394

Tweet

Share

By Noname - Canada

Today, I was telling my boyfriend I had fake orgasms all the time to piss him off. He replied: "that's okay, I'm f***ing three other girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks

57275

You deserved it

143601

Tweet

Share

By xXEndlesslullabyXx - United States

Today, my grandmother's excuse for not going to my college graduation was because she'd already bought her bingo card. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33554

You deserved it

2784

Tweet

Share

By iamScaredyCat

Stay indoors, it's safer at the moment

Today, I was texting while walking up the stairs to my porch. When I looked up, I saw someone standing behind the porch door, and was so scared that I fell backwards down the stairs. Turns out, it was just my reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks

773

You deserved it

1518

Tweet

Share

By xo_lezz - United States

Today, my best friend slapped me and called me a some colorful words before telling me that she never wanted to talk to me again because I supposedly slept with her boyfriend. Not only am I a virgin, but I'm a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks

200407

You deserved it

16624

Tweet

Share

By Calimero0 - 11/8/2020 17:02

Extreme phobias

Today, it's 30 degrees Celsius in my bedroom, but I need to stay completely under the covers, because even though I live on the other side of the world, I can't stop thinking about Australian huntsman spiders. FML

I agree, your life sucks

846

You deserved it

931

Tweet

Share

By Kid Lacef

Today, I asked my girlfriend for a kiss, and in response, she suggested that we settle for a hand hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3083

You deserved it

359

Tweet

Share

By Cherie - United States

Today, I was in an unfamiliar building on campus and I needed to use the bathroom before class started. I walked in and saw a man at the sink. I said "Oh my god I'm sorry! I thought this was the women's washroom." It was. The very butch looking woman gave me a look of death. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44669

You deserved it

10399

Tweet

Share

By dads can’t cook? - 17/3/2021 21:30

Assumptions part 27674

Today, I was messaging a new friend when she mentioned her dad was cooking dinner that night. I jokingly texted, “Oh no! I’m sorry!” Turns out her dad is a professional chef. FML

I agree, your life sucks

241

You deserved it

1048

Tweet

Share

By StevieMe - Canada

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18657

You deserved it

98743

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 21/10/2020 20:03

No smoking

Today, my boyfriend told me he started smoking again and had smoked almost a whole pack in 3 hours. We were on the phone and I was on the bus. He knew that was the perfect time time to tell me, because he knew I wouldn't yell in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1065

You deserved it

238

Tweet

Share

By psychworker - United States

Today, while at work, I was asked if I wanted to leave early. I said no and let my co-worker go instead. Two hours later, I was punched in the face by one of my patients with absolutely no warning or provocation. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28011

You deserved it

3921

Tweet

Share

By cats before idiots

Today, I brought my boyfriend to my house for the first time. He freaked out when he saw my cat, and had to leave because he's allergic. I've posted many pictures of my cat in Instagram, but he didn't say anything about his allergy because he thought it was just a random cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2255

You deserved it

251

Tweet

Share

By nancie

Today, while I was at work, my husband threw out 50 out of my 70 T-shirts, all of my tank tops, and all but one of my sweaters. I'm not getting them back because they're burning in a bonfire in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3738

You deserved it

687

Tweet

Share

By anon - Canada - Vaudreuil

Today, I went to see a hockey game. The announcer asked if anybody found a ring in the stands, because a girl lost hers. While he talked about it, I realised that I forgot mine in my pocket, so I took MY ring and put it on my finger. A guy saw me and thought I stole the lost one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12843

Phew, glad it wasn't me

2154

Tweet

Share

By youshitme - Australia

Today, I was at work, working on a new play. In the final dress rehearsal, I heard some of the crew laughing so I looked down at the very revealing costume to see that my left testicle was hanging out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36213

You deserved it

7804

Tweet

Share

By trbaby - United States - El Cajon

Today, I was at a house-warming party and my friend was in her kitchen making drinks. When I was almost done with my drink, I went to take the last gulp and saw three mouse turds stuck to the inside bottom of the glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6681

You deserved it

519

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

19560

You deserved it

30133

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, after being a few minutes late to work a few times this week, I left the house super early this morning. When I got to work, security hadn’t unlocked the doors yet, so I waited in my car, where I ended up falling asleep and sleeping through most of my entire morning shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks

950

You deserved it

1460

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, my dad is refusing to let me marry my fiancé because he said no when my dad asked for a loan of £10,000 to help clear some gambling debts. Apparently that shows my fiancé has poor family values and will be a bad father and an alcoholic husband. Impressive logical thinking there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3513

You deserved it

329

Tweet

Share

By unknown - United States - Cape Coral

Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49704

You deserved it

5308

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I asked my school counselor in strict confidence for advice on how to help a friend of mine, who has bulimia. When I got home, I found out that "someone" had called my parents and told them that I'm bulimic. They won't believe the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24588

You deserved it

1636

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36208

You deserved it

14626

Tweet

Share

By linda - United States

Today, I went to get my hair highlighted at the salon. The salonist mixed up my blonde hair dye with some other girl's hot pink and violet dye. Now I look like a cheap hooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34602

You deserved it

5391

Tweet

Share

By pretty_coin - Australia

Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35193

You deserved it

3548

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 21/2/2021 22:01 - United States - Baton Rouge

Taking stock

Today, back in 2018, I had money and a six pack; in 2019 I couldn’t walk and had to have a back surgery; in 2020 I lost over $650,000 and gained over 40 pounds. Now, in 2021 I'm surviving and stress-eating trying not to lose everything I worked for. Fuck, I miss being a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1347

You deserved it

159

Tweet

Share

By kisyfrot - France

Today, I got fed up with my neighbor who has been coughing, night and day, for six months. I rang at her door to tell her about several remedies I know of to help, so I could sleep. I thus found out she has lung cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15245

You deserved it

27021

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I walked into my house with a couple of friends and I saw my girlfriend doing laundry. I jokingly asked her if she had time to do a load of mine as well. She scoffed and said, "Yeah babe, I'll gladly do your laundry... The same day you learn to wipe properly." FML

I agree, your life sucks

25634

You deserved it

54434

Tweet

Share

By midwesternpetclerk - United States

Today, I got yelled at by my boss for being insensitive to a customer. I'd told her I never heard of the requested item even existing. She walked off shouting, screaming and throwing stuff from the shelf. She wanted to order a bird feeder with heated perches so the bird's feet won't get cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34758

You deserved it

2712

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

My 21st birthday

Today, my parents took me to a bar to celebrate my 21st birthday. They brought my little brother, but when the bouncer wouldn't allow him in, they made me wait outside with him while they went in for drinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8162

You deserved it

515

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38499

You deserved it

6237

Tweet

Share

By shaviTuT - Malaysia - Bandar Penggaram

Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34343

You deserved it

2650

Tweet

Share

By Mia - United States - Laurel

Today, I was mistaken for my twin brother twice. This probably wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49879

You deserved it

4652

Tweet

Share

By polemania - United States

Today, I had an employee come in 20 minutes late with the excuse, "There's a Pokemon gym across the street!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

13379

You deserved it

1796

Tweet

Share

By robthebuilder - Canada

Today, while at work, I was asked to see my boss. I was informed that the company would be laying off 20 people, and that I was one of them. I was told I could finish off the week, then was sent back to work. Twenty minutes later, my boss walked around and handed us all Christmas party invitations. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27714

You deserved it

2454

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I stopped by the gas station. As I was filling up I noticed a cute guy at the pump next to me. When I was done, I gave him a wink before opening my car door. It was locked. I had to call my Dad to bring my spare keys. The guy was laughing the whole time as I waited for my Dad to show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14620

You deserved it

54286

Tweet

Share

By TANT - United States

Today, I decided to start working out because my friends said I'm scrawny and weak. I bought an expensive giant container of protein powder to take before during work outs. I wasn't strong enough to open the lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

74431

You deserved it

24510

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

In the zone

Today, I was flirting with a girl I like when she confessed she was into another guy. I then proceeded to wingman for that guy, telling her to take her shot with him before the chance went away. Effectively sticking myself into the friendzone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

726

You deserved it

1551

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By QueenSaru | 28

#7805524 - Friday 24 May 2019 1:38

Wait, what? Like... the people in the unit below you can see into your bedroom? How does that work?

By RichardPencil | 30

#7805516 - Friday 24 May 2019 0:44

It’s always nice to have options! ;)

Would you prefer if he pointed and laughed?

COMMENTS

By RichardPencil | 30

#7805516 - Friday 24 May 2019 0:44

It’s always nice to have options! ;)

Would you prefer if he pointed and laughed?

By QueenSaru | 28

#7805524 - Friday 24 May 2019 1:38

Wait, what? Like... the people in the unit below you can see into your bedroom? How does that work?

Reply

RichardPencil | 30

#7805588 - Friday 24 May 2019 8:23

Spy cams?

By Jeremy Strang | 7

#7805543 - Friday 24 May 2019 3:27

"Newly-built platform?"

Are you living in the Kowloon Walled City?

By Lucien Hollywood | 8

#7805546 - Friday 24 May 2019 4:50

you should have smiled back waved and then walked away man own it

Reply

mazor | 22

#7805751 - Friday 24 May 2019 17:15

Wave without using hands that is.

By raven_of_azarath | 33

#7805558 - Friday 24 May 2019 6:40

Are you the Ugly Naked Guy from Friends?

By Nhayaa | 21

#7805586 - Friday 24 May 2019 8:13

Time to buy some curtains I guess... ^^

Reply

TinScarecrow | 15

#7805847 - Saturday 25 May 2019 1:11

that's what I was thinking. if you're naked at a window you should probably already have curtains

By peterblackmer91 | 10

#7979848 - Saturday 20 March 2021 0:01

This makes absolutely no sense to me.