By chumleevil - 08/07/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 184
You deserved it 3 495

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warlockplayer19 5

Pro Tip : only jack off on days that end in Y

Son, the trick is to not let your mom know. I do it all the time and never get caught!


Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

But really, explain the situation to your parents. It's not that hard.

Op, latter means the second of the two. Once the typo's fixed my comment is going to get thumbed way down..

ahaha it's not tht hard get it? cus he wasn't masturbating :)

was claiming first comment so important you had to put lol then follow it up with an actual comment?

She could hear you over the air conditioner, OP? That's a damn quiet air conditioner...

minecraft_fml 4

The basement should be a few degrees colder.

i yewsualee chowke 1 out 2 featjobs. gimmie lyke 10 xtra pounts uh stikky in muh hand

46- or that's some really really heavy breathing

HSSN19 8

Or the mom has super ninja ears.

39 I don't give two fucks what position my comment is in. I find it pathetic that you wasted a comment just to attempt to call me out something as stupid as a comment on the internet.

What's wrong with masturbating? At least she didn't think you're going around fucking random strangers. When I was younger my mom had the talk about how masturbating is better than having sex. It was so awkward but she's right (when you're young)

Son, the trick is to not let your mom know. I do it all the time and never get caught!

He looks a little too old to be at living with his parents... doesn't he?...Got*

haha it's ironic how when you corrected yourself you got 25 thumbs down, then re-corrected and got 25 thumbs up.

I iz telling ur mom!!!!

79, that's not irony, that's coincidence.

How old are you? They are talking to you about masterbation?

the secret is too hold your breath when someone walks past

skaterblue12 0


81- I know, it was 5am and i'm on my iPod.

Why does everyone use "I'm on an iPod/iPhone" when they make a spelling mistake? I have an iPhone and it's pretty hard to spell something right and have autocorrect fuck up the spelling. It's you, not the phone. Unless you regularly spell it "masterbation" and you just so happened to spell it right then and autocorrect decided to step in with a spelling you use more frequently.

Sacurason 0

Who cares?

Completely agreed 88, also you can turn autocorrect off so that it never changes a word you spelled correctly in the first place.

I dont use autocorrect, so it doesn't show if you spelt it wrong. I find it hard for me to type on my iPod and so yeah, it was my fault. I always spell masturbation 'masturbation' it just so happens I slipped up.

warlockplayer19 5

Pro Tip : only jack off on days that end in Y

"Toda(y)" your pro tip fails.

salvorican 24

Wait?? What about tomorrow?! Guess not

im_bored_tired 12

or wait til everyone is asleep! XD

haha amen to that

6, you're 13, do you even know what a boner is?

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

lol I wait till everyone is asleep then I watch some porn to help me :p

40, hello there stalkerr(:

40, a LOT of 13 year olds know about this stuff

Idiots, Lol. #6 meant Monda[y], Tuesda[y], Wednesda[y], Thursda[y],.. you get the idea. Central msg: OP fails.

Alexunited1212 2

40 - for some reason your picture look like it is looking over me... creepy.

gmc_blossom 21

40- Once again I find a comment of yours. Do you get some sort of sick pleasure going around commenting on people's ages or something? Because, again, him being 13 doesn't mean he doesn't know what madturbation is. They know more than you, such an old, mature 20 year old, thinks.

ask Rebecca black for the days of the week

gmc_blossom 21


When I was I'n school basically everyone I'n my class had sex I'n grade 5... *cough* smart ass *cough*

gmc_blossom 21

53- Your comment wins. :D

When I was I'n school basically everyone I'n my class had sex I'n grade 5... *cough* smart ass *cough*

gmc_blossom 21

55- I don't mean 13 year olds have sex. But it is possible for them to masturbate. And if not, they at least know what it is. They also know what sex is..without necessarily having it, you know?

that was to 40 btw

gmc_blossom 21

59- It looked like it was more to my comment. 0-0 Oh well.

Upyous 0


Aaronftw 0

do u

kids watch porn at the age of 10 these days,

what 6 meant was everyday is good to jack off?

TigerNicole 6

I'm lost don't all of them end in y?

Lmao at the people who don't get the joke. I was just being ignorant for the lulz.

elfuin 0

Oh you poor empty headed bimbo... Yes, yes they do.

im thirteen . and im not a virgin . give the kid a break !!

not sorry to say this... me too... I'm 14 now but I wasn't ;) lol


hopefully he showed you the western grip method!!!

that1kid82 2

Will Farell?

that's money $ (: good one

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

isn't that off of PoT :p

muchagente 5

could he teach you something?

Lalaxwannaxfml 0

Lmfaoo shoulda lefy the door open

how do you spell later?

I was waiting for someone to say that

lilmisslovely13 15


im_bored_tired 12

28, in the post before they edited it, it said latter, instead of later

28- The FML said latter instead of later, so the mods fixed it.