Miscellaneous: Today, after my marching band's performance, the girls had to...

By toazt - 10/10/2010 08:45 - United States

Today, after my marching band's performance, the girls had to change out of our uniforms in a very dark school bathroom. Someone turned on the lights and I realized that more than a dozen roaches had crawled into my skinny jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 431

You deserved it 3 483

Miscellaneous

Compromises

Hiding from the drama

X Æ A-12

By Anonymous - 14/12/2014 07:19 - United States - Reno

Today, I spent well over an hour waiting for customer service to assist me with my forgotten password, only to realize, 5 minutes into the conversation, that I had never created an account in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 239

You deserved it 28 788

By Anonymous - 10/06/2010 19:26 - United States

Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 309

You deserved it 50 187

By Anonymous - 02/10/2010 01:52 - United States

Today, my friends are going to see "The Social Network". They talked about it all through dinner, even though I was sitting right there and I hadn't been invited. When I asked about it, one of them said, "You wouldn't be interested", presumably because I don't use Facebook. He doesn't either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 647

You deserved it 3 327

By isystuff - 01/02/2011 05:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and left me crying in the street. I then got a text from my mom saying how pathetic my love life was. Apparently, it was a mass text message and she accidentally added me to the list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 263

You deserved it 3 208

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 02:20 - United States

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 889

You deserved it 7 759

By Anonymous - 16/12/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 304

You deserved it 30 243

By cnkk07 - 14/10/2011 10:36 - United States

Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 519

You deserved it 2 506

By yayibs - 04/12/2015 03:21 - United States - Williamstown

Today, while working at my desk alone and with my headphones in, I suddenly let loose a loud stream of gas. As I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I saw, in the reflection of my laptop, that my roommate had been sitting silently on the couch right behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 377

You deserved it 4 464

By miss tomato - 08/06/2012 16:36 - United States

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 442

You deserved it 5 644

By Anonymous - 18/01/2013 10:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 083

You deserved it 7 560

By ouch - 09/02/2011 18:02 - United States

Today, I was in class when all of a sudden I was hit in the head by a metal pencil case. My teacher threw it at me to get my attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 693

You deserved it 35 433

By Honey Badger - 08/03/2012 05:47 - United States

Today, I was at a meeting. One of the other members decided to share that their cat had passed away recently. I got an uncontrollable nervous laugh, started crying because I was laughing so hard, and left the room while everyone watched in horror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 709

You deserved it 23 028

By Anonymous - 05/01/2011 18:35 - United States

Today, I was driving back from school 100 miles away from my home with my fiancé and dog. While stopping for gas, we accidentally left our car keys and cell phones in the car. The dog sat on one of the keys and engaged the locks. We were locked out of the car until the tow truck arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 825

You deserved it 21 585

The customer is always an ass

By zanaruka - 19/05/2020 05:00

Today, an angry customer rubbed her hand all over my face, all while showing me her positive COVID-19 test results. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 567

You deserved it 146

By TJ AJ RJ / IV the V - 21/11/2014 06:11 - United States - San Diego

Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 735

You deserved it 4 096

Good boy

By Anonymous - 08/12/2021 07:58

Today, I don’t ask much, just a bit of peace and my armchair, but now I don’t get either since my wife rescued a pitbull that weighs 8 stone, barks constantly and hates me. The first night it was here, it sat on my chair and bit me when I tried to move it, then overnight tore my chair to bits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 145

By Anonymous - 31/07/2013 16:49 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 901

You deserved it 6 957

Complete mockery

By Anonymous - 13/11/2019 01:00

Today, the people in my class wondered why I seem to avoid them. The same people who call me a creep and hide when they see me in public because of my disability. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 182

You deserved it 131

By notsoonenufdeparted - 02/10/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 206

You deserved it 4 789

By O_O - 12/07/2013 20:15 - United States - Columbus

Today, my boyfriend insisted that I start calling him "Professor Fucktard" in the bedroom. He seems to be dead serious about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 581

You deserved it 5 808

By weirdlaugh - 10/05/2015 22:08 - United States

Today, I planned a lunch out with my mom for Mother's Day. She seemed excited about it and "couldn't wait!" She never showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 267

You deserved it 2 063

By Tyler Smith - 03/11/2011 11:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thinks my house is filled with ghosts. She can only hear them when I fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 353

You deserved it 5 707

By BW - 07/06/2009 21:49 - United States

Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 624

You deserved it 6 258

By moodyreallyrocks - 01/11/2011 16:18 - United States

Today, my friend took me and a bunch of other guys out to a nice dinner. This was his way to say thank you for helping him move to a new apartment. He got the cheque, excused himself to go to the restroom and never came back to pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 181

You deserved it 2 865

By please stay on the line - 07/05/2017 04:00

Today, I was sitting in the break room when my boss came in and yelled at me about a mistake. Because I've worked in customer service for years, I instinctively responded with, "I'm terribly sorry to hear that, sir. I hope you'll still consider us in the future." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 807

You deserved it 872

By Anonymous - 20/01/2014 21:16 - United States - Homer Glen

Today, my brother asked me how to block someone on Facebook. Seeing as how my brother never asks me for anything, I took this opportunity to help him. He then blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 229

You deserved it 7 584

By Fcuked - 23/03/2011 04:40 - New Zealand

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him 'meow' over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 541

You deserved it 68 486

By RandomMe - 26/02/2016 08:00 - Cambodia - Sihanouk

Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 643

You deserved it 11 879

By louise. - 18/10/2010 09:06 - Australia

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he chose me out of all the hotter girls out there. He told me it's because I have great birthing hips. Apparently I'm having six children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 556

You deserved it 5 697

By mylifesucks - 10/07/2013 20:10 - United States - Ellijay

Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 134

You deserved it 10 227

By Nikki - 03/08/2009 13:26 - United States

Today, I was baby sitting my little cousin when we decided to go outside and have a "treasure hunt" in the backyard. The first thing we found? The bones of her pet dog that had passed away four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 220

You deserved it 5 686

By Anonymous - 09/08/2009 14:33 - United States

Today, after going to the beach with my guyfriend, I thought I looked pretty good infront of him in a bikini. Later he whispered in my ear, "You have a lot of hairs sticking out of your bottom". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 879

You deserved it 45 788

By Anonymous - 30/10/2018 13:00 - United Kingdom - Basingstoke

Today, as a priest, I was invited to the home of a lady who claimed that the face of Jesus had appeared to her. She took me upstairs to her bathroom and... it was poo. She genuinely thought she could see Jesus in the poo sitting in her toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 196

You deserved it 336

By Sadness - 07/10/2013 18:55 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I have been home sick and depressed for so long that I just found Oreo crumbs in my belly button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 739

You deserved it 17 490

By Amithatevil - 29/08/2014 12:35 - Japan - Kawasaki

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 712

You deserved it 4 189

By Anonymous - 06/02/2014 23:07 - United States - San Ramon

Today, my mother-in-law tried to "accidentally" run me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 310

You deserved it 4 198

By Anonymous - 29/12/2014 02:49 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 217

You deserved it 17 897

By mjayne17 - 21/03/2009 19:04 - Canada

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house. One thing led to another, and we were just getting to the good parts when his mom walks in. After a long, awkward pause, she says "I like your socks" and walks out. She is a teacher at my highschool. I have to see her everyday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 955

You deserved it 22 229

Miscommunication

By xoxo - 01/04/2020 02:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend won't talk to me because I let a giggle slip during sex and he's convinced I was laughing at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 761

You deserved it 383

By inthedark - 09/02/2010 17:53 - Canada

Today, I found out why my five-year-old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 504

You deserved it 3 669

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Top comments

FYLDeep 25

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Sunday 10 October 2010 16:22

Must be one ghetto-ass school.

karmaslave 5

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Sunday 10 October 2010 16:06

Were you wearing them?

karmaslave 5

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Sunday 10 October 2010 16:06

Were you wearing them?

ajohnson2318 0

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Sunday 10 October 2010 16:15

sounds like you're a nasty girl....I mean crabs, herpes, those are semi popular. but you went all out and got roaches...gross.

bigbadtim 7

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Sunday 10 October 2010 16:57

4- If you are goine to do something, might as well give it your all.

flyersfan365 0

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Sunday 10 October 2010 18:07

is this the same band where the person couldn't get in last night?

Carlie_McCartney 1

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Sunday 10 October 2010 18:10

I wondered that too...probably not...:P

kaileighbutt 0

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Monday 11 October 2010 4:31

get it roaches, you look good!

DeesFMLs 0

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Tuesday 12 October 2010 17:52

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww but lolss

marinus_fml 19

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Sunday 10 October 2010 16:06

YDI for wearing skinny-jeans

zoocity13 5

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Sunday 10 October 2010 16:41

iRyanJr 0

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Sunday 10 October 2010 17:11

She's a girl? If it was a guy, then it's a different story. Girls in skinny jeans looook hot!

KiddNYC1O 20

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Sunday 10 October 2010 18:31

not every girl can pull-off skinny jeans and I think it looks stupid at the ankles. IMO

omgiitsme03 0

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Sunday 10 October 2010 18:39

shutt uppp

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

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Sunday 10 October 2010 21:54

I think skinny jeans only look stupid if you're too overweight, or wear the wrong shoes. Sneakers? Ick. (Yes, even Chucks.) Boots, strappy heels, or ballet flats? Yes please.

Spastastic 6

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Sunday 10 October 2010 22:48

I...I wear chucks with skinny jeans... D:

katgurl 13

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Sunday 10 October 2010 22:54

I think skinny jeans looks stupid at the ankles if the girl is wearing fat shoes.. The look of skinny legs and giant feet remind me of those creepy Bratz toys.. Now, skinny jeans and any length boots (with a heel, none of that stupid Ugg business..) or just sexy heels.. ;D

overthelimit 3

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Monday 11 October 2010 1:47

tall uggs actually look good with skinny jeans, its the short ones that bother me. sneakers look fugly with skinnies too, unless theyre chucks :D

noname5067 0

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Monday 11 October 2010 2:57

ehh I think skinny jeans shouldn't have been invented. get a girl a pair of good low cut/boot cut jeans she'll look sexy. skinny jeans make the but look weird too

leasha12111 0

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Monday 11 October 2010 3:01

I hate when really fat girls wear skinny jeans.

crazycornn 0

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Monday 11 October 2010 3:19

I knew I'd see some rediculous comment about skinny jeans xD god you people are stupid xDDDDDD

iRyanJr 0

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Monday 11 October 2010 5:25

#71 Put clothes on, there's children on this website.

login6437 0

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Monday 11 October 2010 8:43

#71 Go work out more before you post a pic on the Internet. My grandma has better abs than you.

goldhighways 0

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Monday 11 October 2010 9:17

LOL

stellamasr 7

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Tuesday 12 October 2010 3:28

yeah, fashionguru right there! lol

manbizzle 1

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Tuesday 12 October 2010 6:41

OMG not skinny jeans! What ever would you have done had they been boot cut instead?

caester9 0

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Saturday 20 November 2010 18:16

I wear skinnies with skater shoes and it looks fine. I'm not overweight or underweight either.

Darkfiremat_fml 0

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Sunday 10 October 2010 16:10

lol atleast you didn't bring any at home XD

catatonicsleep 17

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Sunday 10 October 2010 16:28

i'm thinking that she was half way through putting them on when she realised... not actually wearing them, because if they were full of roaches you would notice before they were fully pulled up, I doubt they were on and fastened when she noticed...

Filitov 0

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Sunday 10 October 2010 16:50

Or she could have been just about to put them on when the lights were flipped on: it's rather hard to tell. This FML rather leaves us in the dark when it comes to details. EDIT: This might be a re-post. Sorry if it is. It appears my other comment was eaten by the comment bug.

Person1233 12

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Sunday 10 October 2010 16:16

Just roll with it, don't you want some cock?

sj913 0

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Sunday 10 October 2010 16:16

if that was me I'd never wear those jeans again!

RedPillSucks 31

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Monday 11 October 2010 2:32

She's at school. How's she suppose to get home pantless? I suppose she'd have an easy time getting a ride, but I doubt she'd make it home alive.

iRyanJr 0

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Monday 11 October 2010 5:33

I'd give her a ride home! :D

martialart1st18 19

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Tuesday 25 February 2014 14:32

That's what OP gets for dressing like a whore.

FaberDriveLuv 5

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Sunday 10 October 2010 16:22

Oh damn...I can only immagine how terrified you must have been.

FYLDeep 25

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Sunday 10 October 2010 16:22

Must be one ghetto-ass school.

flashback.miss 28

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Sunday 10 October 2010 16:36

haha 9 :) and 8 .. yea.. bugs are..... well theyre sneaky... :) and OP... OO'''''' just how hairy are your legs??? did yuou have any crumbs of food stuck in the hairs? Roach buffet!!! XD nah j/l but how didnt you feelthem crawling on your leg.. or were you just kinda zoned out? were they dead and just hkinda stuck/squished on your leg? ewwwww EDIT: you said on your skinny jeans.. you werent wearing them.. sorry. bout that. but yeah... imagine them having a feces plopping on your jeans... wash em, burn them... give em away.... how did the others react?