Health: Today, after months of tests for mystery nerve pain, I went to...

By you're shitting me - 27/05/2013 05:05 - Australia

Today, after months of tests for mystery nerve pain, I went to get more blood taken only to leave the clinic with an empty tin to collect my bowel movements for the next 72 hours. Which needs to be refrigerated. I live with 4 other people, with one fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 665

You deserved it 3 246

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

Tis the season to be jolly

By littl3storm - 23/12/2020 15:59 - United Kingdom

Today, at the ripe age of 20, I spent the early hours of my morning violently vomiting blood every time I got too warm. I then had the pleasure of shitting in a plastic container for a stool sample, due to said problem, after one and half hours of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 74

By shatMyself - 22/04/2013 19:10 - United States

Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 469

You deserved it 3 419

The first step is admitting you have a problem: take away is bad for you.

By Tyr88 - 05/03/2017 02:00 - Australia - Blakehurst

Today, I opened my fridge. It's entire contents: half a takeaway meal and 4 bottles of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 548

You deserved it 1 595

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 17:32 - Japan - Yokohama

Today, I went to the hospital due to vomiting and abdominal pain, and they decided to fit me with an IV drip. It took several tries by two different people to get the cannula in. I feel like a human pin-cushion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 828

You deserved it 4 499

Asshole

By Anonymous - 30/04/2015 17:33 - United Kingdom - Limavady

Today, someone at work took my delicate medication out of the fridge to make room for their lunch. Now my medication has expired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 713

You deserved it 2 883

By Disappointed Mom - 31/07/2016 20:31 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was supposed to be enjoying a long-anticipated, desperately needed, weekend away. Turns out those "little stomach twinges" were actually symptoms of appendicitis. I'm stuck in the hospital, alone, recovering from surgery, while my family is enjoying our non-refundable break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 667

You deserved it 1 036

The doctor will see you… soon

By Anonymous - 09/06/2022 10:00

Today, I spent several hours sitting in the ER hyperventilating from pain and passing out, due to a herniated disc in my back. I had to watch at least 5 people go ahead of me, whose only complaints was that their stomach hurt or they felt nauseous. One of these people had a bag of snacks with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 128

Climate change

By BloodyHorror - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, the blood from some defrosted steak dripped under my fridge where I couldn't see it. One insanely hot day later, and my whole house smells like it has its period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 974

You deserved it 470

By Equi - 12/12/2018 16:00 - United States

Today, I went to the company's health clinic to treat muscle spasms and a possible cracked rib. In the process the old quack doc and overly eager nurses wound up giving me a storng laxative and 3 enemas, two of them quite large. Then I still had to return to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 502

You deserved it 317

Thanks for nothing

By Somebody - 19/08/2020 17:01

Today, my mother-in-law came over. Probably thinking that the needles in our fridge were steroids, and wanting to do the right thing, she took them to throw them away. I'm diabetic, and they were my insulin. I went into shock after she left and had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 635

You deserved it 145

lambda_fml 40

Monday 27 May 2013 13:55

Yet you managed to write four.

rivaraven 35

Monday 27 May 2013 15:49

#61, for the next 72 hours. I think the problem is not OP, but you and your ability to read.

Comments

finch01 18

Monday 27 May 2013 13:20

don't tell them way.tsunami in it. but write Ur name on it. lol

laughmaster 9

Monday 27 May 2013 13:20

That sucks OP, label it and maybe try to isolate it in the back so you and your roommates don't have to interact with it as much

processengineer 9

Monday 27 May 2013 13:22

these brownies are full corn..... actually pack a cooler with ice with towels on top

SlapAndTickle 20

Monday 27 May 2013 13:42

Since we are in the correcting mood 17, it's spelled diarrhea.

perdix 29

Monday 27 May 2013 13:43

Finally! The sequel to "Two Girls, One Cup!"

Maycontainnuts 17

Monday 27 May 2013 14:11

Put it in a sealed box and hope they don't look inside it.

VeganVampyre 26

Monday 27 May 2013 14:13

Sorry, 28, 17 was actually correct. Look it up.

perdix 29

Monday 27 May 2013 14:13

They instructed you to store a bio-hazard adjacent to other people's food?!?! You must have . . . *lowers sunglasses* shit doctors!

milanpatel 10

Monday 27 May 2013 14:18

Put it in a sealed box and hope they don't look inside it mine.

milanpatel 10

Monday 27 May 2013 14:22

They instructed you to store a bio-hazard adjacent to other people's food?!?!

perdix 29

Monday 27 May 2013 14:30

#40, your comment gave me déjà vu!

milanpatel 10

Monday 27 May 2013 14:31

Finally! The sequel to "Two Girls, One Cup!"

Chanti_fml 26

Monday 27 May 2013 14:31

Why copy-paste Perdixs comment?

Zomg_Okay 26

Monday 27 May 2013 14:35

If you were going to steal a comment, the very least you could have done is attempt to re-word it.

perdix 29

Monday 27 May 2013 15:16

#44, because they are brilliant and awesome!! EDIT: Oops! I forgot to log in to my other account.

perdix 29

Monday 27 May 2013 16:19

#46, what's worse is that his repeating of my comments are less unpopular than my originals!!!

Keywords

Awkward Cars Transportation Embarrassing Kids Relatable Family Babysitter Thief Money Mental health Depression Health Wanker Work Bodyshaming Love Annoying Vacation Students Parenting Intimacy AITA First Dates Singing Cats Animals Public freakouts Weddings Cops

The Top

Today, I had to spend at least 30 minutes, at 3 in the morning, shooting BBs at a mateless whip-poor-will to scare it off so I could sleep. It was making noise in a tree right outside my window. I feel for you my dude, but you're doing the equivalent of drunk texting an ex and crying into your beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 336

Today, I met up with a guy from Bumble for a first date. An hour in, he asks me, "What's your take on body odor?" He proceeds to tell me about his intimate relationship with his body odor and how his armpits take on the scents of his lovers' lady bits. He added that the "essence" of his ex often returns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 65

The Top

Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 977

You deserved it 3 620

Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 599

You deserved it 642

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 147

You deserved it 91 466

Today, I flew to Mexico with my (now ex) boyfriend of two years. It was my first time flying, and apparently I have a fear. I had a panic attack on the plane. When we landed, I got dumped for "causing a scene." I am now stranded in Mexico alone for two weeks with no hotel room booked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 841

You deserved it 5 185

Today, I discovered that I could have gotten 2,3% off on the vacuum cleaner bags I bought online two weeks ago. At the time I didn't know about the discount. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 654

Today, I remembered to show some customers at work photos of my cat that I had taken recently, and they love my "flat face" cat. All good, until I scrolled to a whole body nude I had taken to send to my boyfriend. I showed it to an entire family during my breakfast rush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 2 021

Same thing different taste

Tis the season to be jolly

The first step is admitting you have a problem: take away is bad for you.

Asshole

The doctor will see you… soon

Climate change

Thanks for nothing

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