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She can't control your adult life. OP, go find a nice guy and maybe adopt kids?
Don't be afraid to let her know that's not going to happen. She's your mother, so all she really wants is for you to be happy, and if you could convince her to be open with gays, than you could convince her to be open with adopted grandchildren as well.
If she's "totally open" then she should have no problem with you being gay. She can still have grand kids, they just won't be biological. She can get over it. It's your life, so live it how you want to.
Parents should always be respectful of their children's sexuality, you don't choose being gay.
119, it is no one's fault that someone's gay. Just about the only hard part of my coming out was convincing my parents "You didn't mess up." Sure, it has been suggested that some men are gay due to the mother's uterus attempting to feminize the fetus, but there's a difference between what someone's body does and what THEY do.
Might as well tell her your gay. She already set expectations that you obviously wont be able to meet. Hopefully she is accepting of you.