By Why's it so cold in here? - United States
Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML
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  xSphinx  |  18

As a fellow human with a penis, I can assure you that even if the doctor were as attractive as you two ladies, popping an erection in a freezing room is near impossible unless you're both close enough to keep me warm haha

  Vitotaylor36  |  13

#29, as far as I know, most venoms aren't deadly when ingested. May make you sick large quantity, but not kill you. I know people drink rattlesnake venom as part of cult initiations and they don't die.

  Retaheki  |  27

#34 is correct, unless you have a cut somewhere in your digestive system, ingesting venom is completely harmless because they work through the bloodstream.

  tantanpanda  |  26

#12, by your logic, you would be thrown in jail for telling someone you think they have a sore throat. What you're talking about probably only applies to diagnosing real patients in a hospital setting.
*Damn mobile, posted it in the wrong part.