Intimacy: Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time...

By Anonymous - 10/07/2011 04:18 - United States

Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 810

You deserved it 8 196

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Same thing different taste

Agony

By Ouch - 22/12/2021 22:59 - Netherlands

Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 058

You deserved it 205

By Ballhugger - 06/12/2009 20:42 - Canada

Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 560

You deserved it 11 144

By crushed dreams - 16/06/2011 06:20 - United States

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 526

You deserved it 243 993

By suosi - 26/07/2015 17:55 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 096

You deserved it 2 153

Wrong place, wrong time

By Matthew - 10/03/2021 00:30

Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 129

By inpain - 20/11/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 285

You deserved it 40 616

By Anonymous - 28/07/2015 00:08 - United States

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 199

You deserved it 2 949

What kind of sex are you having?

By Anonymous - 30/12/2022 00:00

Today, after being apart for a few weeks, my girlfriend made love to me so hard I got bruises on my penis and it hurts to pee out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 443

Mah bawsac

By Anonymous - 12/07/2014 20:19 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 001

You deserved it 8 039

By Anonymous - 25/08/2015 07:32 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 348

You deserved it 7 133

allmidnighteyes 10

Sunday 10 July 2011 12:23

My favourite part is how she just left when you guys were done. You didn't have to pay for that sex, right? I can't imagine what runs through a hooker's mind when you tell her, "Don't wake my parents..."

xxmollyxx 25

Sunday 10 July 2011 12:23

How the hell did she manage that?

Comments

PapSmearNinja 4

Sunday 10 July 2011 12:36

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

starile 19

Sunday 10 July 2011 14:47

Fat girls suck dick like no other.

NikkiFlysKites 8

Sunday 10 July 2011 14:57

'Cause they're always hungry.

at1325 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 15:05

I hope a skinny girl crushes your balls during sex. the fml never described the girl he was screwing.

spadekqj10 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 21:39

low life

gatechfan1226 0

Monday 11 July 2011 3:34

**** you buddy. do you even get laid?

shutterbug1190 14

Sunday 10 July 2011 12:39

You must have a very very high pain tolerance... Jeez thats frigging horrible. Hope you feel better soon and never, ever do that position again.

Jonnie_effed_up 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 18:57

I got a hell of a pain tolerance, but when my balls get hit, im on my knees!

Jonnie_effed_up 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 18:57

I got a hell of a pain tolerance, but when my balls get hit, im on my knees!

Jonnie_effed_up 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 18:57

I got a hell of a pain tolerance, but when my balls get hit, im on my knees!

slushpup9696 12

Monday 11 July 2011 7:21

Revenge ********?

McGherkin 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 12:42

That's what I call a Nutcracker.

LiveRS 7

Sunday 10 July 2011 17:25

win

carmenm 6

Sunday 10 July 2011 12:43

you poor poor man , no idea how she managed that though better luck next time :)

mikaylaraymond 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 12:48

well guess i glfeel sorry for you and every other guy that girl slept with sorry op

foilindo 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 12:48

I'm imagining the doctor going through your balls analyzing it!!! lol. faaaaaaaaail!!!!!

Livinia 11

Sunday 10 July 2011 12:50

Tell her to massage your balls.

Babalu722 3

Sunday 10 July 2011 16:47

that hurts anyway, it wouldnt do much

a_nutritionist 10

Sunday 10 July 2011 18:40

the only people thumbing this up must be female. a male would have the knowledge to know when you have an injury to your balls, touching them in ANY way is not going to be a pleasant experience.