Love: Today, after dating my girlfriend for about a month she decided... - FML

By waitthatsnotme - United States

Today, after dating my girlfriend for about a month she decided to change her Facebook status to taken. When I saw the update I immediately clicked "Like." Then I looked up and saw I wasn't the person she had put herself in the relationship with. FML

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Rock, hard place

Out of it

In my day…

By mommylife - United States - Schaumburg

Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly 6 minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML

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By WtfDidIPayYouForThen - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I asked my dermatologist why my acne has been getting worse, despite following her directions and spending hundreds of dollars on medicine. She just shrugged and told me they can't actually cure my acne. However, they can prescribe me a bunch of stuff and hope one works. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/11/2020 05:07

It's not THAT hard

Today, I found out how hard it is to actually change light bulbs. I work with electricians. FML

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By NYCproblems - United States - New York

Today, my ten-year-old brother came to visit me in NYC. Within ten minutes of walking on Times Square he had seen a prostitute and a partially-naked man. He now refuses to leave my apartment and screams when I try to drag him out. He's here for the next two weeks. FML

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By swimmonster81

Today, my mother told me how she managed to afford all of the expensive Christmas presents we got. She took out extra money when applying for my student loans. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Not how it works...

Today, my classmate told me she can copy an article from the internet and hand that in, as long as she cites it at the end. FML

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By HereToLaughAtU - United States - Des Moines

Wait, what?

Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML

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By Mike Polk - United States

Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML

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By well okay then - United States

Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML

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By Peter

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend has been lying to me about having a long-term illness requiring multiple trips to the doctor's. She isn't ill, she was cheating on me with the local GP. So I’ve literally driven her to the clinic and then sat in the waiting room while she screwed the doctor. FML

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By stoolgal - United States - Yukon

Today, I found out after a lot of panic and a visit to the gynecologist that the lump in my vagina isn't cancer. I was just constipated. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Darlinghurst

Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I'm on a train, feeling good because I got upgraded to first class. The man opposite me just slid me a note saying, "Wee plooky cunt, fuck off!" Charming. FML

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By Jen - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my son decided he wanted roasted marshmallows. It would've been fine, except he put the entire bag into the oven I had preheating for pizza and caught it on fire. FML

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By Chey1309 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I looked alright for our date. He said, "Honey, you look fine, just don't go out in public like that." FML

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By ktreens - Canada - Brandon

Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML

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By lmaoLOSER - United States

Today, I got a perfect score on my French quiz, and I was told to have my mom sign it. What I didn't realize was that all the way at the bottom she wrote "Good Nathaly!" and "I love you!" surrounded by little hearts. The teacher hung it up anyway. FML

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By Anonymous

Small comforts

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend admitted to having an affair. To comfort me, he said, "But you have bigger boobs, so you have nothing to worry about." FML

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By ssjin93 - United States

Today, I received two letters, one from my mom, other from my dad, about how much they missed me with me not being around them. I called my mom, feeling sad. She didn't sound sad at all. She asked me which letter was better. My parents were competing each other which letter would be more moving. FML

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By FatalxDesire599 - United States

Today, my mother stormed into my room shouting about how I never go anywhere and then tells me to go out "NOW" and do something. As she is pushing me out the door, her boyfriend walks in. FML

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By LiveGuard - United States

Today, I was taking a lifeguard certification test. I nearly drowned halfway through. FML

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By collegegirl90 - United States

Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML

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By GiWi - Ireland

Today, I asked my boss a simple question about a problem I was having with a project I am currently doing. He replied: ''You don't worry your sweet little ass about it babe". My boss is my girlfriend's father. Nice. FML

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By nice one

Today, I finally confronted my boyfriend and asked him if he was cheating on me. He got flustered and said, "Technically, I'm cheating with you, not on you." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Boston

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

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By PlzSendBlankets - United States

Today, marks three days since I was supposed to follow the moving truck to my new home. Instead, I got super sick and my dad drove away without me. I've been laying on a dog cushion the entire weekend because my bed is 500 miles away. FML

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By SpongeAbii2 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

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By Lies - United States

Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML

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By XYZee - United States - Rockmart

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Lake Worth

Today, I found out that my mom has been deliberately forgetting to help me practice my driving. It's not because the insurance will go up once I pass the test, she doesn't want my 14 year-old sister to feel left behind. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was watching wrestling videos on YouTube, when my little brother walked in. Later, my little brother told my parents that I was watching naked men on my computer. They won't stop thinking that I was watching gay porn. FML

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By Ben - United States

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

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By Jack Slate - 12/12/2020 11:02

Leave me alone!

Today, my anxious, obsessive, overbearing mother called me four times. That's significantly less than usual. When I complained to my dad, he said, "She just worries about you because she loves you." I don't feel loved, I feel smothered. FML

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By steph - Canada

Today, I was in the park for a walk when a ball rolled to my feet. Figuring it belonged to the kids not far off, I wound back and kicked. The ball had actually been kicked by someone else for their dog to chase and I ended up punting it in the head. FML

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By anonymous - United States

Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML

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By Username - United States

Today, I was asked how far I've gone with a guy. My answer? Eye contact. I'm 19. FML

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By yosenfal - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went with my friends to see a movie. I handed my student card over to the cashier as proof I was old enough to see it, and he started laughing hysterically at my picture. Then he called over a colleague, who also started laughing. FML

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By hornyloser - United States

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my parents on their first day back from New York with candles I made. I used actual lavender flecks from our garden for the scent in the candles. My plan worked until the lavender caught on fire which then spread to all of our mail and newspapers. Welcome home. FML

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Top comments

By evangldbrg | 0

#488057 - Saturday 15 August 2009 7:26

Another reason FB needs a dislike button as well...but seriously, FYL dude.

By NuclearWinter | 0

#488048 - Saturday 15 August 2009 7:24

Ouch.

Don't get torn up about it. You're too good for her.

COMMENTS

By NuclearWinter | 0

#488048 - Saturday 15 August 2009 7:24

Ouch.

Don't get torn up about it. You're too good for her.

Reply

truslide | 0

#488389 - Saturday 15 August 2009 11:36

you don't "date" a girlfriend. Dating a girl doesn't mean she's yours. Dating is the step before a relationship. please realize this and you will save yourself from major heartache in the future.

Reply

senior_dingdong | 0

#488418 - Saturday 15 August 2009 12:35

lol get ript
you just encouraged your "girlfriend" to be lesbian!!!
OR
told her its cool to cheat
lolerskates random troll lols at you
YDI for being too quick

By evangldbrg | 0

#488057 - Saturday 15 August 2009 7:26

Another reason FB needs a dislike button as well...but seriously, FYL dude.

Reply

chippa | 24

#488123 - Saturday 15 August 2009 7:50

Hahah, well said, bro.
You know what you could have done is press "unlike" right after and said you liked it then unliked it so it could be like you disliked it... Never mind.

Reply

acd23 | 0

#488873 - Saturday 15 August 2009 17:07

Agreed, haha. I've seen some status my friends post about being sick, and there's not a way to Dislike it to show that you don't like that they are sick. (as an example)

Reply

pinky0090 | 0

#489422 - Saturday 15 August 2009 21:21

This is extremely similar to #3395339. But ya FB needs a dislike button for sure! I too have run into situations where a friend is sick or something and I don't want to "like" the fact that he/she is sick.

Reply

idk_much_ok | 0

#489482 - Saturday 15 August 2009 22:11

Facebook has an "Unlike" button after you click like, so just click that idiot...

Reply

likeOMGwow | 0

#490032 - Sunday 16 August 2009 3:11

yeah...idk why people always forget theres an "unlike" button lol

By DaBombb316 | 0

#488060 - Saturday 15 August 2009 7:27

was she just playing around, or messing around behind your back?

By chinolatino | 0

#488066 - Saturday 15 August 2009 7:29

Quick! Unlike it!

Reply

adavis24 | 0

#3004581 - Saturday 30 July 2011 23:28

I've had that happen!! and I liked it on purpose, and decided I'd let her be the next one to talk to me.. we haven't talked since!

Reply

Rowdey | 10

#4479055 - Friday 25 May 2012 4:52

75 - You're picture is super, super creepy..

By oogyboogy | 6

#488067 - Saturday 15 August 2009 7:29

you deserve it a little because you didnt read it but not as much that sucks

By captainamerica50 | 0

#488068 - Saturday 15 August 2009 7:29

Haha pwn3d

By MotaIsLove | 0

#488074 - Saturday 15 August 2009 7:32

Thats why i prefer myspace over facebook.

Reply

caticaticati | 3

#488107 - Saturday 15 August 2009 7:44

Because myspace doesn't show the names so you can't see when the woman you thought was your girlfriend is dating another man?

Reply

redbluegreen | 40

#488215 - Saturday 15 August 2009 8:45

That's always a plus. (;

By peppy29 | 2

#488078 - Saturday 15 August 2009 7:33

Ouch. I'm sorry. FYL. That really sucks.

By eggnogg | 0

#488090 - Saturday 15 August 2009 7:38

word to your mother

By BW3Cmart | 3

#488093 - Saturday 15 August 2009 7:38

Sux for you man.