By lovehurts - 28/12/2009 20:41 - United States

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over the phone, I recieved a knock on my door. It was my now ex-girlfriend who came to seek revenge by shooting me in the balls with a paintball gun at about a three foot range. FML
I agree, your life sucks 18 853
You deserved it 57 618

Same thing different taste

Top comments

somepartsareme 0

Fake, you couldn't have balls, you broke up with her over the phone.

That's why you don't do it over the phone.


Reyo 2

#97: Go ahead and shoot yourself in the balls at close range with a paintball gun. Go on, prove to us how "manly" you are. To people saying YDI, I'd like to see how you feel when you're shot in the genetalia at close range with a paintball gun. And ladies, I know "It doesn't hurt as much" which is why they'd have to shoot you in the lovlies.

harlehatschi 0

ydi for breaking up with someone over the phone, coward

thecirclingskies 0

tbh OP probably had the right idea of ending it over the phone if his girlfriend was the kind of person to attack with paintball guns when broken up with

greenltrn2003 0

hilarious how only women are sayin YDI for doin it over the phone. the emotional stress would be the same. Either way you end up boyfriendless HA

BurnIt2TheGround 0

if she goes to his house and shoots him in the balls with a paintball gun for breaking up with her then maby there was a reason he used a phone instead of getting within arms reach

I'm willing to bet that not one of the women here saying YDI has ever been shot with a paintball gun. IT HURTS. And not like a bee-sting hurt, either. I mean a 'I just got whacked with a crowbar at full swing' hurt. I've still got marks on my body from a day of paintballing several years ago, and I wasn't shot once at close range (they had a distance rule). When you take a few paintballs on your breasts at three feet, then you have every right to say he deserved it. But until then, FYL to hell, OP. FYL to hell.

It was better than a text break-up and much safer than doing so in person. If you were dating a violent or psychotic guy would you want to break it off face-to-face? No, of course you wouldn't. It would be common sense to break it off from a far distance, and remain a far distance from said individual. I'm guessing that's exactly how the OP felt. He knew she was a fruit and wanted to keep himself as distance length from her. You have to taken into consideration the context of why he phone-dumped her. I disagree, however, when you say it's a low act. It's not, especially since the exact same method is used just as often, or possibly more often, by women. But like I said, context.

i can see why he did it over the phone! all women he did not deserve this at all what gives this women a right to come to his him and ******* assault him he is probably lucky he can still have children how wud u like it if your x came to your house and ******* really inflicted pain upon you? u wudnt like its so shut up if you think this woman has the right to break the law .

pipp360 0

**** **** dick pussy ass douche

it probably is fake but OP it's caled a peephole dumbass

chicabonita5683 0

What gave him the right to be a coward and not give her an honest break-up face to face. She may or may not have been a psycho aside from this one occasion when she felt that a break up over the phone was a "shot to the nuts" emotionally. And for the guys saying I bet a girl has never been hit with a paintball gun, yes, I have, and in some rather unpleasant and odd locations, so I know that it stings. If he opened the door, he was asking for it...that's what windows and peepholes are for...check who it is and what they have in their hand first...duh. Unless he was expecting a pizza, it's just common sense safety to check first.

valmont_fml 0

What it comes right down to is this: do you also think that if a woman (we will say, for the sake of argument, yourself) broke up with someone over the phone, would it be acceptable for him to come over to your house and shoot you in the breasts with a paintball gun? If so, then at least you are being consistent. If not, you should probably think things out more carefully.

RrubiksCuber 6

(just a disclaimer of sorts - i am a man, just to clear things up) paintballs hurt? Yes, very much. Crowbar to head? No, but i do assume that you are exagerating. To the balls? Yes, that is FML worthy. I know people say this a lot, but i think it is in order here - sue her/ get her arrested for assault. Just hope you don't need to display "evidence" to a jury.


Oh, now you see what a periods almost like! Suck it up. Until any one of you guys has to deal with cramps for almost a week straight for 12 times a year stop complaining!

^Imagine taking all the pain from that week and concentrating it over a much shorter time span. That's what a nut-shot feels like.

I did not understand the pain getting hit in the balls caused until I playfully pounced on my boyfriend and kneed him )X He has gotta love me if he's still with me after doing the same thing over and over = While it may seem harsh that he broke up with her over the phone, a break up is going to hurt the same; and her emotional pain does not give her the right to physically hurt him (which is against the law). Let's face it girls- if it was a guy punching her for breaking up with him, everyone will be shouting, "ABUSE! It's a good thing you got out of that relationship!" Tl;dr: physical violence is wrong to both genders- forget about your double standards.

That's why you don't do it over the phone.

GeorgeBoosh 0

At least, that's why you don't do it by phone when you are in the same city. Next time, go on holiday, and just do it by txt message. That way you don't get the tears and crap.

I was just about to write that myself

Did you read the fmylife, i think there is a reason he didn't do it in person.

22cute 17

Agreed, she must have figured you didn't need your balls since you didn't use them to break up in person like a man.

What's with these ex girlfriends? I was taught that when someone breaks up with you, it's their loss and to give your used toys to the less fortunate.. If I was to be broken up with, I'd decide that he would not be the one obviously and not to get angry.

But if Op did do it personally she might have done the same thing.

technically you can charge her with assault with a weapon

remy_xi 0

I wish I had a paintball gun...

deadpool91 0

they're awesome! lol I'll date her I probably have more paintball guns. and all u people whining about getting shot get over it it's not that bad. and yes I've been shot in the nuts too

You know that shooting someone with a paintball gun has the same consequences in court as shooting someone with a real gun. If you bring this to court its jail time for her. :)

textasy2000 0

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

It'd be a crime and jail time nonetheless. You have no right to say ydi when you don't even know the damn situation. Have you ever been shot with a paintball gun at three feet? You get a ******* welt. Maybe the gf was some crazy clingy bitch that HE put up with for two years before deciding that it was the last straw. Maybe he realized that if he did it in person, she'd do some crazy shit.... which she ended up doing anyway. **** your mentality and kudos to any personal teachers who get broaden that narrow-minded perspective you have.

Maybe he broke up with her over the phone because he hoped to avoid a situation like that. His ex might have done something even more psychotic if he broke up with her in person, considering she's crazy enough to shoot him over a break up.

It may be a misdemeanor but it's considered Domestic Violence because they were together for two years. That's a serious charge that she will face some jail time for and will have follow her for the rest of her life. Source: Law Enforcement experience.

valmont_fml 0

Sadly, fewer people will be willing to do anything if it's a woman mistreating a man. It's a frustrating double standard in most societies.

somepartsareme 0

Fake, you couldn't have balls, you broke up with her over the phone.

I never understood why people consider breaking up with someone in person an amazing feat of manliness.

It's not an "amazing feat of manliness". It's the right thing to do. He has been going out with this girl for two years, and he couldn't tell her how he felt in person but on the phone? And the girl lives near him, so he should have done it in person.

Because it's so much safer to do it in person where she'd probably just strangle him.

I don't know if this is FYL or YDI since I don't know the details of your relationship. ... but damn your ex is bad ass XD

Would you put the last part if it were a man doing this to his ex-girlfriend?

It was a jackass move to dump her over the phone, but FYL for having a crazy ex. I'm pretty sure you can press charges against her. I totally would (:

I think his ex-gf's reaction explains exactly why he didn't do it in person!

You deserve it!! 2 years and u couldn't dump her face to face. If she could find a paint ball gun and get to ur house to shoot u in the nuts (which u totally deserved) then u should have found the time to get to her house and dump her like a normal person. Ur lucky it was a paint ball gun.

waterynuggets 0

Lol if you were his gf I could see why he broke up with your ass.

cpatrick820 3

If "u" wanted to be convincing, than maybe "u" should have spent a little extra time spelling out the words in your comment.

The girl's obviously psychotic. Sure, phone breakups are cowardly and what-not, but he doesn't deserve to lose the ability to reproduce over one. Does that sentence make sense? >.>

yeah cuz it would have been better face to face were she could only hit him with a fraying pan(persanal experiance).

just because he broke up with her over the phone doesn't justify her shooting him in the nuts with a paintball gun. if she broke up with him over the phone and he showed up and shot her in the cooch with a paintball gun he probably would have ended up in jail. talk about double standards.

If it was a 'persanal' experience, then I'm concerned with where you were hit.