By Anonymous - 20/01/2013 18:22 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Spicy
Today, after an hour of crying over a guy I like, I put on some Adele and sang along. My mom quickly took notice and came to give me advice, which was to "get over it" because he doesn't want me, and that "masturbation beats relationships hands down." Gee, thanks mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 579
You deserved it 7 554
Love
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strawberrywine22 30

If singing along to Adele is your way of grieving over your lost relationship, I'm with your mother. Maybe you should stick to boyfriends that require AA batteries.

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ballbearing 10

Your mom is right.

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Starcatch77 20

Great Mom.

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ballbearing 10

Your mom is right.

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strawberrywine22 30

If singing along to Adele is your way of grieving over your lost relationship, I'm with your mother. Maybe you should stick to boyfriends that require AA batteries.

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skoob1 12

Yes, because an alcoholic anonymous meeting is definitely a great place to find a keeper. At least they're trying!

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spaboolly 26

49- If your attempts at jokes leave people thinking "What the hell is this guy talking about?" then you should probably work on your humor.

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sens3sfailing 24

I think most people will understand the joke, being that it isnt very clever at all. it just sucks.

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Quidikic 9

Yes, quite. Your creativity with said initialism is oh so clever.

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ScaryyMary 14

Your mom is ridiculous. Vibrators can't buy you presents or dinner.

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ElatedEarthling 15

But boyfriends can't vibrate...

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ScaryyMary 14

Solution: date a robot.

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ElatedEarthling 15

Or someone with sex-induced epilepsy.

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LilRob58 5

Some of us can vibrate.....

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Quidikic 9

53- Yeah, what if we would spend an hour in a freezer before sex? Hint hint, ladies.

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zandalee 19

...depends on how frozen solid the member is.

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Kal3Y 12

Maybe she was trying to help with some tough love? Either way, sorry OP:(

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tomhofer 14

We could of had it alllllllllll rolling in the deeeeeeeeeeppppp

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ScaryyMary 14

I always wondered what that song meant...

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sarbear293 4

Well, maybe she's right

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Coop817 19

Nothing beats advise from the wise

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theycallmekitty 13

Tell her you can't use your mouth on yourself.

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Ohitsariel 25

That's probably not something you should say to your mother....

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zandalee 19

Sounds like a pretty cool Mum to me. Vibrators don't argue, never leave the loo seat up, never hog the remote, can be extremely flexible, ;) and never tell you your bum looks big. Get one!

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ScaryyMary 14

Yeah, but you try to take one into a movie theatre with you and all of a sudden you're a pervert.

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redbluegreen 40

Maybe we're going to the wrong theaters, Mary.

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ScaryyMary 14

Pee Wee Herman WAS my childhood hero, after all...

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zandalee 19

...Hey I just discovered another way to use a vibrator! Turn it on, put it between the mattress and the base - instant vibrating bed! Very soothing. Of course it does help to have a vibrator with industrial strength and durability...

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redbluegreen 40

You could always invest in Magic Fingers. I hear there's still a few out there.

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