By Anonymous - 20/01/2013 18:22 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Spicy
Today, after an hour of crying over a guy I like, I put on some Adele and sang along. My mom quickly took notice and came to give me advice, which was to "get over it" because he doesn't want me, and that "masturbation beats relationships hands down." Gee, thanks mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 519
You deserved it 7 532
Love
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strawberrywine22 27
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If singing along to Adele is your way of grieving over your lost relationship, I'm with your mother. Maybe you should stick to boyfriends that require AA batteries.

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ballbearing 10
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Your mom is right.

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ballbearing 10
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Your mom is right.

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strawberrywine22 27
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If singing along to Adele is your way of grieving over your lost relationship, I'm with your mother. Maybe you should stick to boyfriends that require AA batteries.

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skoob1 12
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Yes, because an alcoholic anonymous meeting is definitely a great place to find a keeper. At least they're trying!

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spaboolly 26
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49- If your attempts at jokes leave people thinking "What the hell is this guy talking about?" then you should probably work on your humor.

44 2
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sens3sfailing 24
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I think most people will understand the joke, being that it isnt very clever at all. it just sucks.

7 32
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Quidikic 9
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Yes, quite. Your creativity with said initialism is oh so clever.

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ScaryyMary 14
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Your mom is ridiculous. Vibrators can't buy you presents or dinner.

60 9
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ElatedEarthling 15
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But boyfriends can't vibrate...

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ScaryyMary 14
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Solution: date a robot.

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ElatedEarthling 15
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Or someone with sex-induced epilepsy.

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LilRob58 5
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Some of us can vibrate.....

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Quidikic 9
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53- Yeah, what if we would spend an hour in a freezer before sex? Hint hint, ladies.

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zandalee 19
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...depends on how frozen solid the member is.

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Kal3Y 12
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Maybe she was trying to help with some tough love? Either way, sorry OP:(

6 9
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tomhofer 14
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We could of had it alllllllllll rolling in the deeeeeeeeeeppppp

9 18
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ScaryyMary 14
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I always wondered what that song meant...

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sarbear293 4
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Well, maybe she's right

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Coop817 19
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Nothing beats advise from the wise

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theycallmekitty 13
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Tell her you can't use your mouth on yourself.

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Ohitsariel 25
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That's probably not something you should say to your mother....

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zandalee 19
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Sounds like a pretty cool Mum to me. Vibrators don't argue, never leave the loo seat up, never hog the remote, can be extremely flexible, ;) and never tell you your bum looks big. Get one!

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ScaryyMary 14
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Yeah, but you try to take one into a movie theatre with you and all of a sudden you're a pervert.

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redbluegreen 40
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Maybe we're going to the wrong theaters, Mary.

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ScaryyMary 14
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Pee Wee Herman WAS my childhood hero, after all...

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zandalee 19
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...Hey I just discovered another way to use a vibrator! Turn it on, put it between the mattress and the base - instant vibrating bed! Very soothing. Of course it does help to have a vibrator with industrial strength and durability...

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redbluegreen 40
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You could always invest in Magic Fingers. I hear there's still a few out there.

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