Today, after an hour of crying over a guy I like, I put on some Adele and sang along. My mom quickly took notice and came to give me advice, which was to "get over it" because he doesn't want me, and that "masturbation beats relationships hands down." Gee, thanks mom. FML
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By
strawberrywine22
| 27
If singing along to Adele is your way of grieving over your lost relationship, I'm with your mother. Maybe you should stick to boyfriends that require AA batteries.
By
ballbearing
| 10
Your mom is right.
Comments
By
Starcatch77
| 20
Great Mom.
By
ballbearing
| 10
Your mom is right.
By
strawberrywine22
| 27
If singing along to Adele is your way of grieving over your lost relationship, I'm with your mother. Maybe you should stick to boyfriends that require AA batteries.
Reply
skoob1
| 12
Yes, because an alcoholic anonymous meeting is definitely a great place to find a keeper. At least they're trying!
Reply
spaboolly
| 26
49- If your attempts at jokes leave people thinking "What the hell is this guy talking about?" then you should probably work on your humor.
Reply
sens3sfailing
| 24
I think most people will understand the joke, being that it isnt very clever at all. it just sucks.
Reply
Quidikic
| 9
Yes, quite. Your creativity with said initialism is oh so clever.
By
ScaryyMary
| 14
Your mom is ridiculous. Vibrators can't buy you presents or dinner.
Reply
ElatedEarthling
| 15
But boyfriends can't vibrate...
Reply
ScaryyMary
| 14
Solution: date a robot.
Reply
ElatedEarthling
| 15
Or someone with sex-induced epilepsy.
Reply
LilRob58
| 5
Some of us can vibrate.....
Reply
Quidikic
| 9
53- Yeah, what if we would spend an hour in a freezer before sex?
Hint hint, ladies.
Hint hint, ladies.
Reply
zandalee
| 19
...depends on how frozen solid the member is.
By
Kal3Y
| 12
Maybe she was trying to help with some tough love? Either way, sorry OP:(
By
tomhofer
| 14
We could of had it alllllllllll rolling in the deeeeeeeeeeppppp
Reply
ScaryyMary
| 14
I always wondered what that song meant...
By
sarbear293
| 4
Well, maybe she's right
By
Coop817
| 19
Nothing beats advise from the wise
Reply
Coop817
| 19
*Advice
Wow
Wow
By
theycallmekitty
| 13
Tell her you can't use your mouth on yourself.
Reply
Ohitsariel
| 25
That's probably not something you should say to your mother....
By
zandalee
| 19
Sounds like a pretty cool Mum to me.
Vibrators don't argue, never leave the loo seat up, never hog the remote, can be extremely flexible, ;) and never tell you your bum looks big. Get one!
Vibrators don't argue, never leave the loo seat up, never hog the remote, can be extremely flexible, ;) and never tell you your bum looks big. Get one!
Reply
ScaryyMary
| 14
Yeah, but you try to take one into a movie theatre with you and all of a sudden you're a pervert.
Reply
redbluegreen
| 40
Maybe we're going to the wrong theaters, Mary.
Reply
ScaryyMary
| 14
Pee Wee Herman WAS my childhood hero, after all...
Reply
zandalee
| 19
...Hey I just discovered another way to use a vibrator! Turn it on, put it between the mattress and the base - instant vibrating bed! Very soothing. Of course it does help to have a vibrator with industrial strength and durability...
Reply
redbluegreen
| 40
You could always invest in Magic Fingers. I hear there's still a few out there.