By Anonymous - 20/01/2013 18:22 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Spicy
Today, after an hour of crying over a guy I like, I put on some Adele and sang along. My mom quickly took notice and came to give me advice, which was to "get over it" because he doesn't want me, and that "masturbation beats relationships hands down." Gee, thanks mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 519
You deserved it 7 532

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If singing along to Adele is your way of grieving over your lost relationship, I'm with your mother. Maybe you should stick to boyfriends that require AA batteries.

Your mom is right.

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Your mom is right.

If singing along to Adele is your way of grieving over your lost relationship, I'm with your mother. Maybe you should stick to boyfriends that require AA batteries.

Yes, because an alcoholic anonymous meeting is definitely a great place to find a keeper. At least they're trying!

49- If your attempts at jokes leave people thinking "What the hell is this guy talking about?" then you should probably work on your humor.

I think most people will understand the joke, being that it isnt very clever at all. it just sucks.

Yes, quite. Your creativity with said initialism is oh so clever.

Your mom is ridiculous. Vibrators can't buy you presents or dinner.

But boyfriends can't vibrate...

Solution: date a robot.

Or someone with sex-induced epilepsy.

Some of us can vibrate.....

53- Yeah, what if we would spend an hour in a freezer before sex? Hint hint, ladies.

...depends on how frozen solid the member is.

Maybe she was trying to help with some tough love? Either way, sorry OP:(

We could of had it alllllllllll rolling in the deeeeeeeeeeppppp

I always wondered what that song meant...

Well, maybe she's right

Nothing beats advise from the wise

Tell her you can't use your mouth on yourself.

That's probably not something you should say to your mother....

Sounds like a pretty cool Mum to me. Vibrators don't argue, never leave the loo seat up, never hog the remote, can be extremely flexible, ;) and never tell you your bum looks big. Get one!

Yeah, but you try to take one into a movie theatre with you and all of a sudden you're a pervert.

Maybe we're going to the wrong theaters, Mary.

Pee Wee Herman WAS my childhood hero, after all...

...Hey I just discovered another way to use a vibrator! Turn it on, put it between the mattress and the base - instant vibrating bed! Very soothing. Of course it does help to have a vibrator with industrial strength and durability...

You could always invest in Magic Fingers. I hear there's still a few out there.