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Today, after an hour of crying over a guy I like, I put on some Adele and sang along. My mom quickly took notice and came to give me advice, which was to "get over it" because he doesn't want me, and that "masturbation beats relationships hands down." Gee, thanks mom. FML

By Anonymous - / Sunday 20 January 2013 18:22 / New Zealand - Hamilton
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  skoob1  |  12

Yes, because an alcoholic anonymous meeting is definitely a great place to find a keeper. At least they're trying!

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  sens3sfailing  |  24

I think most people will understand the joke, being that it isnt very clever at all. it just sucks.

By  theycallmekitty  |  13

Tell her you can't use your mouth on yourself.

By  zandalee  |  19

Sounds like a pretty cool Mum to me. Vibrators don't argue, never leave the loo seat up, never hog the remote, can be extremely flexible, ;) and never tell you your bum looks big. Get one!

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  zandalee  |  19

...Hey I just discovered another way to use a vibrator! Turn it on, put it between the mattress and the base - instant vibrating bed! Very soothing. Of course it does help to have a vibrator with industrial strength and durability...

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