Today, a man came up to me and asked for a $50 bill in change?... - FML

By supermanj76 - 4/5/2009 02:12 - United States

Today, a man came up to me and asked for a $50 bill in change? Being a good man i said "sure." I gave him the change and he gave me the $50 bill. As I walk into starbucks to buy a coffee, I handed the casheir my fifty dollar bill, she called the cops. It was counterfeit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52772

You deserved it

23440

Tweet

Share

Alexa, play "The Lovecats" by The Cure

The end of the road

Non-baby fever

By Anonymous - 14/6/2013 00:30 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59011

You deserved it

7035

Tweet

Share

By Slivered - 18/11/2009 09:50 - Canada

Today, my condo board refused to lift the new policy requiring pet owners to carry dogs in common areas because someone's dog is peeing in the hall. I can't physically carry my two dogs, so I'm now forced to wheel them through the building in a borrowed baby stroller. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32993

You deserved it

3920

Tweet

Share

By Aaron Lewis - 7/7/2012 05:01 - United States - Topeka

Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28239

You deserved it

10696

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/8/2015 04:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my husband and I locked our keys in the car. Our only spare is in the drawer with all our sex toys. So we either had to get our oldest go in the drawer and get them to bring to us or walk the 12 miles home. My feet will never recover from that walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19981

You deserved it

26981

Tweet

Share

By tacoboy27 - 21/12/2011 17:39 - United States

Today, I found out that my father has taken my copy of Modern Warfare 3, and re-wrapped it as a Christmas present. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31600

You deserved it

3533

Tweet

Share

By firestar772 - 11/2/2013 15:48 - United States - Santa Barbara

It's probably considered art

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish byproduct. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36927

You deserved it

4438

Tweet

Share

By strongjon60 - 7/2/2012 15:07 - United States

Today, at my internship, I was told we were going to do something fun. I was excited, until I found out that this "fun" thing was labeling 500 folders. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24061

You deserved it

3616

Tweet

Share

By Leigha - 2/1/2012 02:14 - Trinidad and Tobago

Today, I found out that if you see a tray with some black stuff in it and you can't decide whether it's powdered black pepper or cigarette ashes, it's not a good idea to taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7183

You deserved it

49986

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 1/11/2009 21:08 - United States

Today, I finally got my paycheck from working at my minimum wage job for the last three months. I was delighted when I saw it was worth $846. On my way to cash it, I destroyed my car's suspension. It's going to cost almost $800 to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36490

You deserved it

6639

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/12/2013 22:41 - United States - Lihue

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm beautiful. Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML

I agree, your life sucks

48657

You deserved it

7701

Tweet

Share

By oops - 18/5/2009 08:45 - United States

Today, I was working at my job as cashier. This really attractive girl that comes in walked in, so I mustered up the courage to ask her out, by writing my number on a dollar bill. She pays and a dollar is her change. I go to hand her the money when she sees it and says, "Keep the change". FML

I agree, your life sucks

49222

You deserved it

18074

Tweet

Share

By SatelliteUser - 3/12/2009 20:13 - United States

Today, I called my wife to tell her I finally found a job after 6 months. A man answered the phone claiming to be the cable guy. We cut our cable off when I was laid off 6 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40660

You deserved it

2572

Tweet

Share

By Mightaswelltutordogs - 21/12/2014 01:16 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I had to find simple words to explain to the idiot I was tutoring that "1/4" is not of a greater value than "1/3" just because the denominator is bigger. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30455

You deserved it

5535

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 15/10/2013 00:14 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my friend texted me from a bar, saying they had just called my name in a raffle to win a trip to Aspen, CO. You had to be at the bar to claim the prize. I had left the bar half-an-hour earlier, not knowing they were even having a raffle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45547

You deserved it

4409

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - 4/11/2014 06:24 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went on a first date. I didn't know that licking my neck was on the agenda. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33682

You deserved it

3524

Tweet

Share

By hedayk - 15/5/2015 20:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24210

You deserved it

11894

Tweet

Share

By PerfectVision - 11/9/2014 06:49 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

I agree, your life sucks

40954

You deserved it

3231

Tweet

Share

By Sucker - 1/7/2018 01:30

* facepalm *

Today, five hours into my shift, I found out that I had been given the day off. They just forgot to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3987

You deserved it

297

Tweet

Share

By BabeRuth - 20/9/2013 15:33 - United States

Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20989

You deserved it

47671

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 8/2/2012 05:04

Today, I caught my boyfriend trying on my bra. He still has no excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29065

You deserved it

4172

Tweet

Share

By Alright. - 24/9/2012 08:15 - United States - Missoula

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he says, "There's too much of an age gap between us" and that it makes him "feel like a pedophile". He's only four months older than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30013

You deserved it

2062

Tweet

Share

By ChePow - 20/8/2011 18:26 - Canada

Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31384

You deserved it

6472

Tweet

Share

By FML4evs - 10/4/2009 02:43 - United States

Today, my younger brother watched an old music video of The Who, who are know for smashing up their guitars and such. He decided it would be cool to try it with mine. That guitar was worth over $3000. FML

I agree, your life sucks

85623

You deserved it

4654

Tweet

Share

By EnglishLearner - 9/11/2012 16:23 - Switzerland - Mannedorf

Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24724

You deserved it

8062

Tweet

Share

By badsitter - 5/4/2018 19:00

Today, my mother stopped speaking to me because I won’t let her babysit anymore. Her idea of babysitting is to sit my daughter alone with a tablet and a pile of sugary junk food for 7 hours straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4142

You deserved it

285

Tweet

Share

By French - 24/10/2013 12:52 - Australia - Saint Kilda

Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44613

You deserved it

4663

Tweet

Share

By deadinavan - 13/10/2010 12:57 - Germany

Today, I found out the man I'm getting a ride from drives a windowless van and is "excited to see me". My friends had encouraged me to sign up for the cheap-ride program because it was less expensive than taking a train. If I never come back, look for a windowless van somewhere in Europe. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27115

You deserved it

5143

Tweet

Share

By joedoe - 18/7/2009 06:03 - United States

Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16887

You deserved it

51430

Tweet

Share

By Jlipka - 22/5/2010 02:33 - United States

Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31743

You deserved it

5578

Tweet

Share

By cheesylad - 10/6/2017 06:00 - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, I was alone in the car with my crush. For reasons I will never understand, I put on the song 'Kiss a Girl' by Keith Urban. I could feel her cringing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3079

You deserved it

1309

Tweet

Share

By Noname - 28/1/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, I went into my office and told my boss that I hated my job and was quitting on the spot. I tried to leave quickly but I slipped and fell on the marble floor right in front of everybody during my exit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23056

You deserved it

6287

Tweet

Share

By missunlucky - 18/2/2010 00:24 - Czech Republic

Today, I was at a club with my friends and my friend got really drunk. Later on he came up to me and said he really needed to pee but he was too drunk to work the zipper, and asked if I could help. When I finally unzipped him, he was so desperate to go he pissed in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27864

You deserved it

9883

Tweet

Share

By staceyymaee - 6/7/2016 17:47 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, my new futon mattress arrived. Upon laying it out on the frame, I realized IKEA has whack bed sizings. When I went to return the mattress for a queen, they informed me a queen mattress wouldn't be here until sometime next week. I already threw out my old crappy mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9833

You deserved it

2501

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/2/2015 01:27 - United States

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37077

You deserved it

3969

Tweet

Share

By Deadfish - 26/7/2009 17:17 - United States

Today, I was walking to the pet store to buy a month's worth of fish food for my fish so I wouldn't have to come back for a while. For fish food it was expensive. It was also surprisingly heavy and I had to carry it back to my house. When I got home, I saw my fish floating at the top of its bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48249

You deserved it

7116

Tweet

Share

By missinformed - 18/5/2017 12:00

Today, Geico called to tell me they were canceling my insurance. Someone I don't know got pulled over for drunk-driving and the police wrote down my license plate number instead by accident. Although the DMV says they cleared everything up, Geico still won't believe it wasn't me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4599

You deserved it

251

Tweet

Share

By chassezlenaturel - 24/3/2015 12:58 - Belgium

Today, my husband used the vacuum cleaner. Proud of him for this first-ever initiative, I congratulated him. His second initiative was to stick the nozzle on my ass, yelling, "Liposuction!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

33892

You deserved it

5543

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 1/3/2010 01:53 - United States

Today, I was loading a very large box into my hatchback. I was really struggling, and a few people walked by and laughed. Then a car pulled up and waited for the spot. There isn't a spring to hold my trunk open, so it slammed onto my head. Twice. The car honked for me to hurry up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26629

You deserved it

2390

Tweet

Share

By ouch - 20/12/2011 12:46 - Australia

Today, I'm on a medication that really dehydrates my skin. I thought split lips were the worst side effects. Other split orifices make a trip to the toilet a literal pain in the arse. No sign of stopping in the near future. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27544

You deserved it

2413

Tweet

Share

By ilovecharliesheen - 17/3/2015 07:14 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25558

You deserved it

14178

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By amyzerz | 0

#167131 - Monday 4 May 2009 10:10

Haha oh man that guy was clever. Sucks for you though. Hope you can find him and kick his ass!

By Bleep_fml | 0

#167165 - Monday 4 May 2009 10:23

Lesson learned: NEVER EVER change money for someone you don't know! Tell them to go to a shop or bank and change the money there. If they don't want to, you know why. Besides, if he was going to buy something with that money he would've had change automatically. No strangers need be involved.

YDI for not using your common sense.

COMMENTS

By peoc | 0

#167116 - Monday 4 May 2009 10:06

hahahahaha .... fail. seriously, being nice in todays world just doesnt work.... its sad. ( i could jump up and down screaming FIRST!!!!, but who cares?)

By amyzerz | 0

#167131 - Monday 4 May 2009 10:10

Haha oh man that guy was clever. Sucks for you though. Hope you can find him and kick his ass!

Reply

nosedive1994 | 0

#981265 - Sunday 18 April 2010 8:36

umm... that's the oldest one in the book for counterfitters... YDI for falling for that!

Reply

planbsponserme | 2

#1112160 - Tuesday 20 July 2010 5:26

Ydi. never give change more than a dollar.

By Ohnoitslindsay | 0

#167141 - Monday 4 May 2009 10:14

This seriously sucks. Good FML.

By sugarbushvermont | 0

#167143 - Monday 4 May 2009 10:15

that sucks!

By shortandloud | 0

#167148 - Monday 4 May 2009 10:15

That sucks hardcore. I hope you get out of it. And get your money back somehow.

By liuken | 3

#167157 - Monday 4 May 2009 10:19

Why you carrying 50$ in change around?

Reply

Kupokupupo | 0

#509275 - Sunday 23 August 2009 12:06

it could be notes

Reply

turkishjew | 0

#2823677 - Tuesday 5 July 2011 10:20

well maybe he bought something expensive and that was his change

By Bleep_fml | 0

#167165 - Monday 4 May 2009 10:23

Lesson learned: NEVER EVER change money for someone you don't know! Tell them to go to a shop or bank and change the money there. If they don't want to, you know why. Besides, if he was going to buy something with that money he would've had change automatically. No strangers need be involved.

YDI for not using your common sense.

By Seegtease | 0

#167166 - Monday 4 May 2009 10:23

"Today, a man came up to me and asked for a $50 bill in change?"

Are you asking us?

Also, you're an idiot. Anybody who needed change legitimately would go to the bank or just break the bill at wherever they spend it next. You should have had some red flags go up.

Reply

Judahsh | 8

#4769699 - Saturday 4 August 2012 0:08

Idk about you, but i dont assume everyone asking for change is actualy producing counterfeit money

By Ohnoitslindsay | 0

#167168 - Monday 4 May 2009 10:24

#6: Two $20 and a $10? Not out of the ordinary.

By nodbor | 11

#167171 - Monday 4 May 2009 10:24

are you fucking nuts. you should never pull your wallet out on the street for some one to grab, or rob you of you cash.