If he cries over his dick size, he needs to learn to grow up.

Oh the irony...

Sounds like there isn't too much "growing" going on though...

Hey I think it sounds like it is something much much deeper. And to be honest if it was a guy saying something to a girl about that then the reactions would be completely different. The wife sounds somewhat abusive.

Crying is over the top but the OP said he ALMOST cried so he actually didn't. Anyway, making jokes about a guy's meat is like making a joke about a girl's weight. Classless. But everyone seems to take this less seriously because of double standards against guys.

I'm sure he wanted to cry because he loves his wife and feels like he failed her. That is why this is sad. F that man's life.

ever thought that maybe he knew she was serious and that he was crying over the fact that he thought he married someone he loved that turned out to be a colossal bitch?

I see what you did there

He probably went straight to Subway to buy a $5 footlong.

Who the fuck makes their husband cry in public?

Apparently that lady.

She's a total bitch.

Some people forget that abuse can go both ways. OP wasn't to know that though so it's really not his fault.

I thought you were hot but then you ruined it by saying what you did.

#64, she's mediocre at best. :3

64 and 79- you guys are total pricks. How Is she "mediocre" I mean you must be as blind as a bat.

yeah that's really shitty

I guess he has two things in common with a baby.

He also poops himself? Where's it say that? Oh.. I think I'm getting it now..

It said that he ALMOST cried. I feel bad for him.

And babies don't ALMOST cry?

That's actually kind of sad...

It's not the size of the fish, it's the way you season and present the meat.

It's not about the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean ;)

though it's really hard to cross the Atlantic in a dingy.

I may not have the biggest boat in the marina, but I do row the hardest.

She must be controlling at home, and he must not know how to deal with it. FYL OP.

Poor guy. I get the feeling his wife says mean things like that pretty often.

Wow, poor bastard. Not gonna lie though I prolly would've laughed.

Hahaha, if I were you I'd laugh too. :P

Either she has a tendency to humiliate him in public or he is really super sensitive and can't take a joke. Either way OP, lesson learned. To be honest, I would probably have laughed too, that was a classic burn.