Miscellaneous: Today, a mall cop tore up my 'Free hugs' sign. FML - FML

By Cornbreesha - 28/11/2009 07:13 - United States

Today, a mall cop tore up my 'Free hugs' sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 895

You deserved it 17 278

Leave us alone

Compromises

Friend's best friend

By OUCH - 19/05/2009 05:17 - Canada

Today, while going for a run in my neighbourhood I was hit by a car not once, but twice. The second car, closely following the first, stopped and then drove forward to see if I was all right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 382

You deserved it 3 222

By derped-out sperm - 01/04/2014 21:41 - Ireland

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 029

You deserved it 5 908

By swedishguy - 05/10/2009 17:22 - Sweden

Spicy

Today, I was paying for coffee and accidentally touched hands with the girl behind the counter. As I was walking home, I realised that was the closest I've been to getting laid in two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 250

You deserved it 4 990

By maddyUnderstood - 31/05/2019 00:00

Today, I went into a job interview for Quizno's. The boss there talked to me for an hour and half about everything on God's green earth. She noticed I was a certified swim instructor. I left Quizno's with no job, but with an appointment to teach the boss how to swim tomorrow at 9 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 724

You deserved it 161

By kdgirl - 21/09/2010 03:02 - United States

Today, my Grandmother gave me rosary beads for my birthday. She told me I better start praying for a husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 310

You deserved it 3 124

By Anonymous - 24/11/2009 08:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, I sent my main man a picture of the two of us out on our second date. He immediately added it to his MySpace account, with the caption, "clubbin with my hoe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 379

You deserved it 9 577

By bezoar10 - 11/05/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, it's the five year anniversary of my father's death. I was cuddling with my boyfriend and crying about how much I missed him. He replied with, "Sometimes, I think you just like to hear yourself talk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 244

You deserved it 11 268

By whorecrux - 02/07/2013 03:37 - United States - Newark

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 803

You deserved it 9 787

By zoe777 - 09/11/2013 02:54 - United States

Today, my mother not only told me that my ex-husband will be spending Thanksgiving with her and my dad, but that I'm also no longer invited to spend the holiday with my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 761

You deserved it 4 338

By Martine624 - 07/05/2015 21:56 - Netherlands

Today, I spent nearly two hours listening to our cleaning lady talking about her son's infected penis, her fear of dentists, how to catch and kill ducks, her husband's childhood and her supposedly murdered dog. She ended up crying and left without cleaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 029

You deserved it 3 455

By Anonymous - 08/02/2017 14:00 - United States

Today, after months of trying to convince my violent bipolar antisocial neighbors to crack a window when they smoke pot, I'm now living without any heat to avoid being blasted by pot smoke from the heat vents day and night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 575

You deserved it 1 112

By Anonymous - 01/08/2019 00:01

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend tried to use his “grief” at the death of a coworker to get butt sex, even though I know for a fact he didn’t like the guy that much, and just last week wished for the guy to get hit by a bus. Pretty despicable way to try get back door access if you ask me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 164

You deserved it 417

By "bluebird97" - 28/12/2018 20:00

Today, my boyfriend called work because he is sick. Then he called me 4 times while I was working, to complain that I was working, and then he got mad when I told him I was sick and worked a double shift 2 days in a row, apparently that is insensitive of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 689

You deserved it 225

By notyoueallie - 20/08/2010 04:06 - United States

Today, I got woken up by Hallelujah blasting outside my apartment windows for 30 minutes straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 420

You deserved it 3 807

By Anonymous - 19/01/2015 14:34 - United States - Lewiston

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 617

You deserved it 7 526

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 13:47 - United Kingdom

Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 742

You deserved it 33 593

By Anonymous - 22/04/2009 14:09 - Hong Kong

Today, my mum and I were walking down a road where we met an old neighbour who recently got divorced. Her son who we hadn't seen for about 10 years was with her and he looked very handsome. I said, "oh wow ! your son has grown up so much !" The woman replied, "this is my boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 409

You deserved it 8 919

Two Scoops

By ice ice baby - 08/09/2019 07:00 - United States - Monterey Park

Spicy

Today, it'd been so long since I last had sex, I was jolted out of my sleep by a body shaking orgasm. I was sweaty and breathless, and it took me a moment to realize it had been a dream. It would've been great except the subject of my nocturnal ecstasy was Vanilla Ice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 654

You deserved it 276

By RedFaced - 27/05/2016 00:11 - Netherlands - Capelle Aan Den Ijssel

Today, I discovered the effect the cream has that my mom gave me. It was for my acne and it worked, in a way. Instead of having a lot of little pimples, I now just have a few gigantic ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 133

You deserved it 802

Nice guy

By Anonymous - 18/09/2009 10:40 - Australia

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask a cute guy for his number. Once he had given me his, he asked for mine. My initial happiness was deflated when he said, "OK, now I can just block every message from you," and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 571

You deserved it 4 513

Trip Advisor says no

By crazycatwaiter - 22/06/2020 23:06

Today, I was so excited that my favorite local spot reopened, I couldn’t wait to go there for lunch. Unfortunately, my waiter’s shirt was so caked with thick smelly cat hair, it sent me into an immediate allergy attack. Not only did I not get to eat my food, the manager refused to give me a refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 476

You deserved it 219

The one that got away

By Cslouth - 27/10/2012 04:04 - United States - Rochester

Spicy

Today, it's the five year anniversary of the day I broke up with my girlfriend to see other people. I've not had sex a single time since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 828

You deserved it 63 605

By therapygal - 17/11/2018 15:30

Today, my girlfriend got very mad at me after finding several appointments with "Amanda" in my calendar. Amanda is my psychiatrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 642

You deserved it 286

By sweet_02 - 01/06/2009 17:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was talking this guy I'm dating and stated that the only reason I am with him is because of what he buys me. I was joking. He then responded that he doesn't care because the only reason he is with me is because I give good head. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 432

You deserved it 65 635

By Anonymous - 21/06/2009 08:50 - Australia

Today, I was talking with my mother and expressed my slight disappointment at how many of my friends are getting into relationships, whereas I'm still single. My mother decided to encourage me by saying "Don't worry, sweetie. There are boys out there who don't go for looks. You'll be fine". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 137

You deserved it 4 005

By Jill - 09/04/2011 22:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 498

You deserved it 4 347

By Anonymous - 24/01/2016 15:27 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, my dad wanted to show me a cool camera he saw on Amazon yesterday, so I let him use my laptop to find it. I realized too late that I'd forgotten to clear my browsing history. The suggested purchases section was filled with dildos and lube. He definitely noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 703

You deserved it 8 843

By bloody_hell - 15/01/2015 02:18 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I was faced with the inevitable horrible circumstances which lead me to put in a tampon on a moving city bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 539

You deserved it 5 216

By ppd_sucks - 29/12/2010 20:03 - United States

Today, my wife and I received confirmation that she has postpartum depression. When sharing this with the family, my mother exclaimed "I told you she was a psycho!" Now my wife is crying louder and more often than our newborn. Thanks, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 593

You deserved it 3 578

By airhead2015 - 12/02/2014 17:57 - United States - Morristown

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 354

You deserved it 5 666

By anonymous - 23/03/2009 00:38 - United States

Today, I was with my girlfriend and she was making me listen to one of her recordings for chorus. As I was listening to it a solo came on, and i turned to her and said "This is the worst F*ing solo I've ever heard in my life." Little did I know, it was her solo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 857

You deserved it 86 275

By ilovemom - 21/01/2010 05:41 - United States

Today, holding my newborn baby and yearning for some affection from my mother, I asked my mom what the best day of her life was, hoping she would say the day I was born. Her answer? "The day you moved out." She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 191

You deserved it 6 633

Meow meow

By failed_catgirl - 19/10/2010 23:24 - Canada

Spicy

Today, for my boyfriend's 19th birthday, I decided to dress up as a sexy cat girl for him, complete with ears, tail, matching sexy underwear, collar and leash. He wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 408

You deserved it 38 788

By Anonymous - 01/06/2010 16:43 - United States

Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 898

You deserved it 4 483

By Anonymous - 29/09/2010 01:47 - United States

Today, I got a spray tan for homecoming. While I was dancing, I got really sweaty and the spray tan rubbed off on the guy's white tux. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 825

You deserved it 51 025

By ohmylordy - 29/10/2010 05:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 256

You deserved it 6 631

By snarly1 - 03/01/2012 08:14 - United States

Today, it was our one year anniversary. After a surprise re-creation of our first date, we went home, in the mood for love. The food poisoning from the restaurant had a different idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 786

You deserved it 2 481

By rummaging - 18/05/2016 13:46 - United States - Bloomington

Today, my boyfriend found the box of photos I've been saving for my daughter. He was convinced I was pining over her father and emptied the box into the dumpster behind our apartment. I'm still not done digging through the garbage to find the photos from the day my daughter was born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 075

You deserved it 1 250

Unexpected

By bruh - 28/03/2017 20:00

Today, I asked my girlfriend to prom. Instead of saying yes, she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 852

You deserved it 319

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 03:00 - United States

Today, I drove my husband's car to the mall because my car was in the shop. The bumper was being repaired because I got rear ended while stopped at a traffic light. While stopped at the same intersection I got rear ended again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 845

You deserved it 3 849

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Saturday 28 November 2009 16:08

He knew you were just trying to feel up chicks.

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Saturday 28 November 2009 16:24

Your actually giving out free hugs at a mall..... creeper

Comments

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Saturday 28 November 2009 16:08

He knew you were just trying to feel up chicks.

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Tuesday 1 December 2009 18:57

Nasty ass Pervert! We all know "boys" go to the malls to look at "hot" chicks...but to actually make a sign that says free hugs goes much further and I probably would have went up to you and punched you instead. You. got off easy.

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Wednesday 2 December 2009 9:14

YEAH DONT SPREAD SWINE YOU FUCK

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Tuesday 19 January 2010 2:51

thats SO horrible. that police officer is harsh D:

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Monday 1 February 2010 3:18

that's justified. I hate it when people do that. are you thy lonely? you look like a freak holding a sign advertising hugs. i wish I Could have torn that up myself.

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Wednesday 17 March 2010 23:37

fuck you all who think free hug people are just trying to feel up chicks. the closed minded people like u are why there are free hugs to counter that evil

nuts_in_your_fac 1

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Tuesday 15 June 2010 6:50

Paul Blart. Kicking ass and taking names.

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Monday 16 August 2010 7:53

those are considered sexual harrasment

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Monday 27 August 2012 6:24

We, as citizens of the mall, are tired of the mall cops' draconian law and tyranical rule. We must rise up and rebel, my comrads! We will not tolerate this any longer! We will fight for our right to carry FREE HUG SIGNS AT THE MALL!!!

DoomedGemini 37

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Saturday 16 May 2015 21:24

A forced hug might be considered sexual harassment, but a sign offering or asking if someone wants a hug isn't.

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Saturday 28 November 2009 16:10

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

thesunwillshine3 0

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Saturday 28 November 2009 16:12

I want a free hug! :)

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Saturday 28 November 2009 16:12

wow. some people just do not like happiness.

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Saturday 28 November 2009 16:15

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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Saturday 28 November 2009 16:17

Awww it's ok *holds arms out for a hug* it's ok *pat, pat*

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 22:09

can I have a hug too?

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Saturday 28 November 2009 16:20

furst?

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Saturday 28 November 2009 16:47

Nope, try again

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Wednesday 2 December 2015 1:50

Or don't.....

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Saturday 28 November 2009 16:23

what an asshole

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Saturday 28 November 2009 16:24

Your actually giving out free hugs at a mall..... creeper

Idontgivedamn 0

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Saturday 28 November 2009 16:25

Thats some bullshit, he has no right to do that. Like most mall cops he probably has inferiority complex where he has to act powerful to make up for the fact that he's actually next to worthless.

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Saturday 28 November 2009 16:46

Yeah, he can do that, under certain circumstances. We don't know the rest of the story, and I'm guessing OP is probably at fault for something other than having a 'Free Hugs' sign. Which, in and of itself, is creepy. Even moreso if OP is a fifty year old, unshaven beer-gut sporting pedophile.

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Saturday 28 November 2009 17:23

Not necessarily, I got in trouble for "free hugs" and I was a 16 year old girl at the time. Not creepy at all. Just making people smile.

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Saturday 28 November 2009 18:47

Agreed.. why rip up the sign? Just ask them to leave or stop. Douchebaggery.

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Saturday 28 November 2009 18:47

That's why you get it on a T-shirt! And, btw, it's ONLY creepy if he's initiating the hugs. If he's just holding a sign and letting other people take the initiative, how can it be creepy? Especially if he has a sign—some people appreciate the frontal blockage that signs provide.

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Saturday 28 November 2009 20:26

"Yeah, he can do that, under certain circumstances." I'm sorry, but what right does he have to tear up someone else's sign?

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Monday 30 November 2009 13:42

Were? Are you a fifty year old, unshaven beer-gut sporting pedophile now?

Nearly

Today, a tech came to repair my cracked phone screen. He told me to remove my case and took it to his van in my driveway to fix it. Thirty minutes later, he rings my doorbell and hands me my phone back. He says he fixed the screen but tripped and dropped it walking back to my house, and completely shattered the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 3

Today, my girlfriend called off our plans to get married, all because I didn't “make enough time” while I was busy renovating the house for her parents to come over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 10

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I spent all day waiting for an unlikely follow up text from the girl from Tinder I let peg me on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 325

Today, I swear I'm off men for good after my latest dud date wanted me to pee on his chest to turn him on, and we were only 20 minutes into the first date. The entire male gender are disgusting pigs, no matter how nice they pretend to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 675