Miscellaneous: Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes.... - FML

By footfetish - 02/02/2013 11:21 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 427

You deserved it 4 549

Own it

Good kid

So compassionate

By Forge - 11/10/2014 14:43 - United States - Taylor

Today, I went to my grandma's yard sale, only to find my baby pictures being sold for 25 cents each. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 949

You deserved it 3 461

Baller

By Anonymous - 26/06/2020 17:00

Today, my popular friend stole another girl's boyfriend. She didn't keep him very long, though. In fact, she only kept him until I finally got together with my crush. Then she decided she had to have HIM. She succeeded, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 876

You deserved it 156

Confused

By Anonymous - 13/06/2014 23:36 - United States - Rahway

Today, I was out shopping with my mom. While we were walking, a guy in a car honked at me. I'm not used to compliments, so I was pretty flattered and flashed him a smile. He looked back at me, confused, then shook his head and pointed at my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 485

You deserved it 5 991

By Anonymous - 24/05/2018 19:00

Today, after submitting a 500-word essay to a writing contest, I found out that I lost to someone who wrote 3 sentences. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 900

You deserved it 478

By grounded. - 02/03/2010 06:46 - United States

Today, I'm a 25-year-old married woman and I'm currently living with my grandfather to take care of him. Today, he grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 007

You deserved it 4 038

By nicki - 14/11/2010 17:18 - United States

Today, it took me a full ten minutes to finish on the toilet. I was babysitting at the time, and it took the kids those ten minutes to destroy the kitchen and shave the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 395

You deserved it 8 096

Outcast

By Anonymous - 22/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while looking through the newspaper, I saw that my sister got married a couple weeks ago. Not only did she not invite me, she "forgot" to mention it yesterday while we were having lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 71

Nostalgia goggles

By Anonymous - 21/01/2021 04:59

Today, I found out my ex broke up with me after 3 years because he's still in love with his ex, who he hasn't spoken to in 6 years. And she dumped him for the same reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 123

By broomrape - 29/04/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, I found out that the horrible stench haunting my apartment for the past week was the decomposing corpse of my freedom loving gerbil underneath the bed that I've been sleeping on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 098

You deserved it 11 647

Brain fog

By Anonymous - 01/05/2021 20:01

Today, I was at the dentist and got laughing gas to lessen the anxiety I get from the numbing shots. When I was good and "relaxed", an assistant leaned real close and said, "Open wide." I just stared back at her and widened my eyes. She had to clarify she was talking about my mouth. Duh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 209

By Eric - 27/02/2012 21:58 - United States

Today, I ordered Chinese food. As I approached the restaurant to pick it up, I took out my keys and tried to unlock the front door. By the time I realized my mistake, everyone inside the restaurant had noticed and started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 282

You deserved it 24 531

By outsmartedbykids - 28/05/2014 16:28 - United States - Lake Mills

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 573

You deserved it 30 792

Bad Day for a Good Boy

By Dakota - 28/09/2017 04:30

Today, on my way home from work, I went to the car wash. When the spray jets hit the car, my dog jumped out of his crate, into the front seat, and onto a button lowering both back windows. I got both an exterior and interior wash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 849

You deserved it 885

By Chops - 09/03/2009 06:35 - United States

Today, I was walking from my office to the place i had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. As I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99 647

You deserved it 4 393

By anonomous - 07/04/2012 15:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 911

You deserved it 46 114

What's the time, please?

By ThreeHoursEarly - 24/01/2020 01:00

Today, I was told to be present for a meeting that started at 5pm. I arrived 15 minutes early, and I was late for the meeting. This happens regularly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 018

You deserved it 268

By spasticock - 19/08/2012 18:09 - Portugal - Barreiro

Today, I climbed the tree in my backyard so I could cut off some stray branches. I ended up getting stuck, and instead of immediately getting help, my wife started laughing and recording me. The video is now circulating on Facebook, and my new nickname is "Hawkeye." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 310

You deserved it 3 649

Never engage with psychos

By Foxy17 - 16/08/2020 20:01

Today, in a convenience store, I asked a girl who wasn't wearing her mask and not keeping her distance to step away. After telling me to fuck off, she put her mask on, went to the teenage manager and said I was harassing her. Even after hearing my side of the story, I was asked to leave. Turns out it was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 733

You deserved it 307

By Jake - 29/04/2009 08:06 - Australia

Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 027

You deserved it 6 202

By Promo girl - 22/01/2009 22:35 - Australia

Today, I was offered a promotion but for the same pay. Promotion... WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 273

You deserved it 2 339

Trashy

By JD. - 31/01/2021 23:01

Today, the office I clean as a janitor left some candies with a note saying, "Take as many as you like." I was flattered and felt like I was finally being recognized for my years of hard work. Later, I found the same candy with a single bite taken out of it in the trash, along with the rest they'd spat out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 87

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 14:12 - United States

Today, I learned that I have the balls to base jump and skydive, but I still can't ask out the hot girl working at the pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 616

You deserved it 8 512

By bathroomseww - 12/05/2009 07:19 - United States

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 994

You deserved it 12 376

By Anonymous - 28/09/2012 18:06 - Netherlands - Apeldoorn

Spicy

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 528

You deserved it 7 497

Stuck on Amber

By 1234567898765432 - 27/03/2009 16:47 - Canada

Today, I went to a Stoplight Party. Green shirt = single, yellow = hard to get, and red = taken. I showed up wearing a red shirt and saw my boyfriend in a green shirt. Thinking it was a mistake, I asked him jokingly why he wasn't wearing red. He looked at me oddly and said, "Oh, you didn't get my text?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 501

You deserved it 6 091

By Noname - 31/12/2008 18:03 - France

Today, the incredibly handsome, talented, hilarious, and intelligent man that I've fallen head over heels like no other for is gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 629

You deserved it 4 355

By highfive - 17/10/2014 01:27 - United States - Dedham

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 294

You deserved it 7 093

By Festivaler - 13/07/2013 07:14 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I was at a music festival, and my mum had told me not to to drink. Someone threw a cup of beer at me, and I was worried about smelling of alcohol. It's okay though, because a second cup of urine took the alcohol smell right away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 129

You deserved it 4 420

By SarahAnne - 13/08/2019 22:00

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I think I'm average looking. He told me that it was OK, unless he wakes up tomorrow with some standards, I'm good enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 718

You deserved it 406

Bad sex

By izzie - 09/05/2010 14:15 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I had sex for the first time in months. His apology took longer than the sex did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 412

You deserved it 5 046

It's the new craze!

By seared well done - 21/08/2021 04:01

Today, I had to physically force my nephew to change his clothes after he tried to go out in long black jeans, a long-sleeved black shirt and a heavy black hoodie. It’s currently 106°F where we live. Apparently, heatstroke is the new trend, as several of his classmates are dressing the same way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 110

By lostmyfaithinblowjobs - 12/01/2013 02:16 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, during an hour-long drive, my sister told me she's lost her "faith in humanity", because one of her friends bought his 8-year-old son an iPad. She uses this stupid expression all the time, and I got so pissed off that I forgot to brake at a red light, rear-ending the car in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 453

You deserved it 51 694

By Cantseethroughdoors - 14/11/2017 05:00

Today, everyone was signing a birthday card to surprise a coworker. I was told to go find someone who hadn't signed it so I went to the office next to mine, opened the door, and told them about the card. The intended recipient was sitting behind the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 883

You deserved it 1 225

By Anonymous - 10/02/2010 07:54 - United States

Today, I bought a brand new huge leather recliner. After laying down and watching football for some time, I sit up and hear a loud shatter. My iPhone was crushed by the mechanics of the chair after it slipped out of my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 863

You deserved it 8 449

By maggu - 11/02/2013 04:26 - Denmark

Today, my mom started referring to me as "The Bitch". When I asked her why, she said that I have always been a bitch, but I was never old enough for her to actually call me a bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 124

You deserved it 7 384

By Yoda - 08/07/2011 05:23 - United States

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 892

You deserved it 4 884

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 05:10 - United States

Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was facebook stalking this really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 533

You deserved it 44 473

By jab43 - 23/07/2011 00:57 - United States

Today, after returning home from a camping trip, I found a leech on my love spuds. I ended up having to call my dad in to help me get it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 005

You deserved it 5 000

By Randolph - 15/10/2012 02:24 - United States - Saint Petersburg

Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 567

You deserved it 4 923

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 05:46 - United States

Today, while at work, I was told by a man who had literally just gotten back from his mothers funeral to cheer up, I was depressing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 591

You deserved it 5 951

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Send a private message

Saturday 2 February 2013 16:04

At least you got the shoes you wanted! :)

Aspen_Grace33 27

Send a private message

Saturday 2 February 2013 16:04

Well at least he had great customer service skills!

Comments

Send a private message

Saturday 2 February 2013 16:04

At least you got the shoes you wanted! :)

KupkakeKitten 8

Send a private message

Saturday 2 February 2013 16:53

Maybe they should offer him a job!

Send a private message

Saturday 2 February 2013 20:24

Ba ha ha! This FML is hilarious. (Thankfully it wasn't a creepier situation.)

ElementaryEdGuy 18

Send a private message

Saturday 2 February 2013 21:28

That's what I'm thinking. She got good shoes; he got what he wanted! It's a creepy win-win!

Aspen_Grace33 27

Send a private message

Saturday 2 February 2013 16:04

Well at least he had great customer service skills!

Send a private message

Saturday 2 February 2013 16:15

What surprises me is how she didn't notice that he wasn't an employee... They usually wear a uniform so we can distinguish who works for the shop and who doesn't (at least where I live).

Send a private message

Saturday 2 February 2013 16:36

not necessarily, in a lot of smaller shops there are no uniforms just people dressed normally who work there which causes confusion it happened to me several times

jogihoppa8343 23

Send a private message

Saturday 2 February 2013 16:41

#2 that's a point to be noted.. who knows if op was trying to flirt with him so that she could gain some discount

Send a private message

Saturday 2 February 2013 16:47

They may just wear a shirt of a certain color, making it easy to pose as one.

Dracoboxer357 35

Send a private message

Saturday 2 February 2013 17:03

11- Lol, a couple of years ago, I was in a Walmart in black jeans and a plain white t shirt, trying on work boots. My wife had my jacket and was off looking at something else, so when I found what I wanted, I carried the box in front of me and stood looking down the isles for her. Some guy and his wife stopped me and started asking me where I kept the Kodiak brand, since he said I obviously work in this department, so, I took him back to where I came from and helped him out. ;) He got what he wanted, thanked me for the assistance, and off he went. I barely kept a straight face the whole time, but if he wanted to jump to conclusions, who was I to correct him? :) So not everyone wears a uniform per say in sales, I guess. They just have to have a bland taste in fashion, such as myself, lol! ;D

LuckBeNimble 19

Send a private message

Saturday 2 February 2013 19:29

26- I actually had the opposite experience. I worked at Target for a couple of months and several times a week I would get people asking if I worked there, as if my Target uniform and name-tag were just a coincidence. -.-!

Send a private message

Saturday 2 February 2013 16:04

Where is this mysterious all female shop, I suddenly feel the need for new shoes.

Send a private message

Saturday 2 February 2013 16:04

Good thing you weren't in a lingerie store!

Send a private message

Saturday 2 February 2013 16:04

What, so it didn't tip you off when he stroked your arches, his pupils dilated with a smile slowly spreading across his face? No? Okay then. Edit: Ahaha, I make an unusual attempt to be funny, and I read the FML wrong. I thought he was helping her try on shoes. Oh well. *crawls in hole*

Send a private message

Sunday 3 February 2013 8:14

way to correct yourself to make yourself sound stupid.

Send a private message

Thursday 4 February 2016 19:42

judging by the amount of thumbs up clearly it didn't #86.

Send a private message

Saturday 2 February 2013 16:06

Shoulda found the guy and asked for a massage afterwards

Send a private message

Saturday 2 February 2013 16:14

Al Bundy strikes again!

Send a private message

Saturday 2 February 2013 16:14

They should hire him

Send a private message

Saturday 2 February 2013 16:15

Yea I wasn't gay, but thanks for the show.

Send a private message

Saturday 2 February 2013 16:16

Hey at least you found some shoes

Nearly

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7

You deserved it 6

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 4

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I’ve been single and lonely for so long, I looked up if it’s possible to marry your hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 46

Today, during sex, I was getting close to climax, which is unusual for me due to personal issues. However, I got a piercing headache and had to stop. I later found out my birth control can cause sex headaches and the best way to avoid them is to avoid orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 38