Work: Today, a guy at work told me I look like a famous celebrity....

By Anonymous - United States - Mattawa

Today, a guy at work told me I look like a famous celebrity. I was flattered, until he remembered the celebrity's name: Steve Buscemi. That wouldn't be a compliment, even if I weren't a 24-year-old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28916

You deserved it

2502

Favorite

Work

Understandable

There's no helping some people

Season finale

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad told me he has money set aside for when he has to bail me out of jail because "it's bound to happen sooner or later." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34564

You deserved it

10713

Favorite

By oopsydaisy - United States

Today, my co-worker told me that my other co-worker is in the process of getting a divorce. I got really excited because his marriage is very toxic. He overheard me say, "He deserves that divorce!" I meant it in a good way, but I don't think he took it that way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34527

You deserved it

11952

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Windsor

Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49111

You deserved it

2888

Favorite

By Anon

Today, I was working on an art commission for some random kid's OC and I didn't notice that I made the nose look like a man's private parts. The mother was upset and spammed my mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1806

You deserved it

445

Favorite

By CT - United States

Today, I was told by my mother that the reason she quit her job as a counselor and divorced my dad was because she met someone through work. She works in a prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34671

You deserved it

2268

Favorite

By anonymous22kittylicklick - United States

Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

33363

You deserved it

2816

Favorite

By Canonlizardjet - United States - Ormond Beach

Today, I had a near-death experience. Went to print a document and a lizard shot out of the printer right out at me. Gives a whole new meaning to a Canon printer, a fricking lizard Canon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6487

You deserved it

560

Favorite

By Chicagoillinois - United States - San Francisco

Today, my step-dad explained to me why he doesn't need to wash his body. He condescendingly said, "Well when you shampoo your hair, the soap runs down your body and cleans everything." He's 37 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33661

You deserved it

2881

Favorite

By Not Homeless - United States - Montclair

Today, as I was riding my bike home from school, I saw a homeless man sitting on a bench. I was about to walk up to him and give him money, but before I could do anything my mother walked up and kissed him. My mom is dating this guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39182

You deserved it

3352

Favorite

By simpleasjam - United Kingdom - Worcester Park

Today, I screamed at a taxi driver to not run over a hedgehog. He got a fright and ended up pulling over. I hopped out and ran to the middle of the road to pick up the hedgehog and leave him on the grass by the path. As I got closer and went to pick up said hedgehog, I realised it was a pinecone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9119

You deserved it

6623

Favorite

By Peaches - United States - Tucker

Today, I was informed that I was let go from my job for not showing up for a week. A week I'd scheduled off, that management had approved. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8427

You deserved it

393

Favorite

By anonymous - United States

Not now

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks, "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

36188

You deserved it

4693

Favorite

By fiery - United States

Today, I was reaching for something in the back of the refrigerator. The bottle of hot sauce that was in front of it fell and broke. Not only did the glass cut my feet up, but the hot sauce got in the fresh wounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39915

You deserved it

4570

Favorite

By Misunderstood Waitress - United States

Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21670

You deserved it

49429

Favorite

By theoriginalkydd - Canada - Toronto

Today, I met up with my ex girlfriend for coffee. It’s been months, and I was planning on flexing on her with my new car. Turns out, she also got a new car, and it’s newer, cleaner, faster, and better on gas... FML

I agree, your life sucks

1064

You deserved it

3460

Favorite

By Leo_RxXx - United States

Today, I was getting off of work, talking to my boss and I asked if I could get a ride home, since my usual ride was too lazy to come get me. He said, sure, but to be really careful since he just had his car detailed. I was getting in the car, tripped and threw my hot cocoa all inside of his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48046

You deserved it

21470

Favorite

By Unlucky

Today, I received a bill from PayPal stating I owe $350 for an account that's linked to an email that I haven't used since 2015. I can't get into the account because someone hacked it and changed the password and security questions. Customer support is no help because I have no info about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2734

You deserved it

215

Favorite

By toeloezz - Netherlands

Today, during a regular checkup at the dentist, I got a wisdom tooth pulled out which resulted in me looking like a fat hamster. Tomorrow is my first day as an English teacher in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11962

You deserved it

1232

Favorite

By lauz - Australia

Today, I slept for the first time with my boyfriend. I'd always imagined it to be a romantic moment. It turned out that 'Saw 5' was on the TV in the background, and the sex was so fantastically tragic that I ended up watching/listening to it, on the sly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21735

You deserved it

4156

Favorite

By Mystery LeRale - United States

Today, I spent four hours practicing funny voices. I have literally nothing better to do all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19476

You deserved it

8410

Favorite

By aaannnddd there goes my boner - United Kingdom

Today, I arrived at work six minutes late due to heavily congested traffic. This is just two days after my boss put out a memo saying that anyone who's late to work from then until the new year will have their holiday bonus pay forfeited. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46107

You deserved it

8384

Favorite

By ChevRooon - United States

Today, I went to the gas station, paid the clerk, and drove off without pumping any gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15111

You deserved it

38913

Favorite

By goodbyeGPA

Today, the first day of school, I went to the book store to purchase my textbooks. Not only did I wait for 30 minutes, but they didn’t even have my books in stock. I was advised to visit another campus 45 minutes away. They didn’t have it either. I have assignments due already. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2735

You deserved it

704

Favorite

By hdat - Canada

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

72765

You deserved it

16145

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, during the birth of my first child, my epidural didn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4081

You deserved it

450

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Glasgow

I don't know why

Today I went camping in the mountains with my girlfriend and her very outdoor loving mountain. I sprained my ankle falling out of the car and got bug bit on my penis while peeing. Her dad actually asked why she was dating me and she admitted that she had no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1503

You deserved it

402

Favorite

By FMyLife5915

Today, I found out what "supersoaked" means. I thought it meant getting shot by a water gun, which is why I laughed when my daughter's boyfriend said he "supersoaked" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36182

You deserved it

6884

Favorite

By bad boyfriend - Canada

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When I got there, I didn't get it on. Instead, I got a list of reasons why I make her depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18408

You deserved it

25172

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, as an important meeting with clients was drawing to a close, we all stood up and they bid their farewells. My response was to blurt out, "Hello!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

22558

You deserved it

7779

Favorite

By yourfault - United Kingdom - Kingston

Today, my boyfriend blamed me for his affair, because apparently I "should have made it clear to him" not to have sex with other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

66672

You deserved it

6751

Favorite

By ledon - Canada

Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30166

You deserved it

3175

Favorite

By projectfain - United States - Akron

Today, I e-mailed the on-line instructor for my job, telling her that I had fallen behind in my work due to my grandmother's passing and the subsequent funeral arrangements, but that I would catch up this week. Her reply? "OK. Hope your grandmother gets better soon." FML

I agree, your life sucks

47802

You deserved it

3185

Favorite

By boringhusband - United States - Salisbury

Today, while at dinner with my wife, she asked me what was on my mind as I stared blankly at the window. "Nothing" was interpreted as, "We are boring, and can't stand each other." FML

I agree, your life sucks

10616

You deserved it

1482

Favorite

By thoughtitwasspecial - United States

Today, I found a link to a porn website on my boyfriend's computer. A bit jealous, I asked why it was there. He told me that he thought thinking of me might get boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29427

You deserved it

20649

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I was called a "disabled buzzkill" for not letting someone pet my service dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3422

You deserved it

225

Favorite

By Anonymous - Sweden - Guayanilla

Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25234

You deserved it

4360

Favorite

By Xbieblette51 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48740

You deserved it

6921

Favorite

By No thanks - United States

Today, I was sitting on a fence watching a friend play soccer. He accidentally kicked the ball at my face and made me fall off the fence into mud. I laughed it off and got back on the fence. Two seconds later he did the same exact thing. I fell wrong and slammed my face into the fence. Pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30971

You deserved it

5965

Favorite

By rosie21030 - New Zealand - Lower Hutt

Today, I was the bridesmaid for my dad and my stepmum's wedding. As I was walking down the aisle, I tripped and fell over my high heels, hit my head on the armrest of a wooden chair on the way down, and passed out. I now have a concussion and a broken ankle. The wedding went on without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4904

You deserved it

736

Favorite

By Yuck

Today, I worked a 12-hour shift. Today my parents' cat also had diarrhoea. Rather than clean it up when said cat projectile shat all through my bed, they simply closed my door and left it for me. Since it's in my room, apparently it's my problem. They can't understand why I'm pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3201

You deserved it

234

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Steve95401 | 49

#6280158 - Sunday 3 May 2015 5:49

It wouldn't be a compliment if you were are a 24 year old man either.

By Cads1 | 24

#6280187 - Sunday 3 May 2015 6:00

Can't seem to find any way for that to be a compliment.

COMMENTS

By FuKcMee | 32

#6280152 - Sunday 3 May 2015 5:48

you're a movie star! take it and run lol

incoherentrmblr | 21

#6280574 - Sunday 3 May 2015 18:43

Megan Fox thinks she looks like Steve Buscemi...

Amama_fml | 30

#6280877 - Monday 4 May 2015 1:02

Have you ever even SEEN Steve Buscemi?

By Pyneapple | 19

#6280154 - Sunday 3 May 2015 5:49

Hey at least you made some great movies that made us laugh and for that, we thank you. I'm only joking. Fyl though. Assholes will be assholes and I'm sorry for that.

By Steve95401 | 49

#6280158 - Sunday 3 May 2015 5:49

It wouldn't be a compliment if you were are a 24 year old man either.

MrConcise | 34

#6280179 - Sunday 3 May 2015 5:56

Doctor, doctor! Steve Buscemi is in the lobby with third degree burns! Please hurry!

UhHuhHoney | 20

#6280221 - Sunday 3 May 2015 6:37

Haha!

ExtremeEncounter | 32

#6280232 - Sunday 3 May 2015 6:55

The FML says that.

Countryboy1996 | 18

#6280281 - Sunday 3 May 2015 8:02

Yeah we know. That's the joke.

teentee401 | 36

#6281064 - Monday 4 May 2015 4:49

That's what OP said...

By benjamn | 21

#6280159 - Sunday 3 May 2015 5:49

Its all in the eyes.

By danthehuman | 29

#6280170 - Sunday 3 May 2015 5:53

Just say they look like an equally bad looking celebrity back.

False_Stupidity | 41

#6281144 - Monday 4 May 2015 6:35

Unfortunately, there is no equally bad looking celebrity...

By CaptainSmith28 | 19

#6280172 - Sunday 3 May 2015 5:54

"There is no medicine for what you have"

By Daelynn_17 | 19

#6280175 - Sunday 3 May 2015 5:55

Hey Good news is he didn't say you look like the Kyle Jenner challenge gone wrong. Lol sooooooo it's not a WIN... but it's not a loss. :)

khaoticpanda | 28

#6280237 - Sunday 3 May 2015 6:58

Kyle Jenner sounds like a cool guy

Daelynn_17 | 19

#6281184 - Monday 4 May 2015 7:42

Yeah I have Samsung (and Sprint) lol. and it literally auto corrects everything. and by the time my phone actually refreshed it was too late (thank you Sprint and autocorrect). I meant to say kylie

By nesteremily | 31

#6280185 - Sunday 3 May 2015 5:58

Smack him

By Cads1 | 24

#6280187 - Sunday 3 May 2015 6:00

Can't seem to find any way for that to be a compliment.

By Exaspera | 54

#6280191 - Sunday 3 May 2015 6:04

Tell him he looks like Joan Crawford in her later years.