By Anonymous - 05/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, a friend and I drove all the way from Texas to a small town in Colorado to spend an entire uninterrupted night together. Not only did he forget to bring condoms but everything was closed by the time we got into town. We ended up playing cards on the bed instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks 18 425
You deserved it 45 923

Same thing different taste

Top comments

HuskyButt 0

I just wonder why someone wants sex with "a friend". And yeah, like #2 said, there ways to have fun without condoms.

diemoelol 0

Awww, haha. That's actually kind of sweet to me.


what the ****, that is one of the shittest fmls i have ever heard

Slicklizard 0

/agreed, I post much better FMLs and yet they never make it through.

It's all relative. Not having condoms when you ought to have one, when spending the night with a girl, to me is 100% FML - Having your mother asking you in front of your brother's cute mates not to flush your used tampons, isn't one at all. Yet they are all over the place simply because a teenage girl will find it horrible while other more mature readers will not. Most readers here seem to be teenagers (which isn't anything bad, but simply affects most FMLs that make it through). You could tell when the Jackass guys selected them for example as they were a bit more 'crude'.

Unregistered 0

its called improvising . . . . . . there isnt just one hole. Think about it thats why i dont consider this a FML

Bit rough to use "he could stick his d1ck in another hole" as a reason as to why this isn't an FML..... "Not an FML, he could have just wanked off on the hotel room carpet".. .. ..

true, but of the 3... only one tends to be mutually pleasurable.. the other two are either a typically a favor, a loving gesture, or exchanged for money. It does not appear that any would apply here

Unregistered 0

hey you cant make an omlette without breaking some eggs

lmmmr 0

So thinking that this is a quality FML means that you are more mature than other posters? I happen to disagree. OP- You're an idiot for leaving your sexual well-being 100% in the hands of someone else. You deserve this, and more, until you learn better.

yawneall 0

you can still spread an STD with anal maybe he has herpes or something and doesnt want to give her it

I agree with #25 that different people will have different perceptions of different FMLs. Why you went all the way from Texas to Colorado seems incredibly stupid to me. YDI for feeling you had to travel all that distance just to get ****** by your friend. Oh, and your friend is a retard for forgetting condoms. If you're planning a night of sex, unless you're some sex toy fetishist, then there's not really much you need to take.

kosscom 0

How about I bend you over and **** you in the ass, bitch?


I said what what, in the butt. You wanna do in mah butt? In mah butt?

missmeliss0309 0

this is not the guy's fml. this is the woman he was supposed to be having sex with's fml. try rereading it now.

americayay 0

Eh. At least they were responsible. As responsible as you can be when sleeping with a "friend".

Let him stick it up your ass then prude bitch

A girl who doesn't want to do anal isn't a prude. She's normal.

americayay 0

Agreed 139. I don't find it abnormal to do anal, but it's nothing close to prude to refuse, either.

If he is just a "friend" and not a boyfriend, shouldn't playing cards be more appropriate anyway? FYL for being forced to be respectable.

Poke_my_mon 0

To say it's normal to not want to do anal is wrong, because that means all the girls who do do anal are in someway abnormal, which isn't true at all.

bambii101 0

a "friend"? ur probably better off with playin cards since ur not in a relationship

crazycelt72 0

youre a ******* dumbass just pull out before you cum

Kiwi_Splash 0

Exactly! Some people drastically redefined the meaning of friends. YDI for trying to change the nature of life. It's either she's your friend, girlfriend, or *****. YDI for also not knowing how to have sex without a condom. It's not rocket science, Sherlock.

Pulling out doesn't work, dumbass, I thought everyone knew that. You can still get pregnant/STDs even if you pull out.

lolololcheese 0

#148 I would think it depends on if they are friends with benefits... Friends can still have sex without an emotional hangover

you know you can pull out before you cum works just as well as a condom

Brittaneyyy 0

agree #55 but FYI most decent hotels supply condoms u can buy incase of such situations happening

diemoelol 0

Awww, haha. That's actually kind of sweet to me.

birds_fml 7

Condoms aren't only for birth control, they're also for STD protection, which this person may be concerned about since she (or he) didn't say boyfriend, just friend. You can still get an STD with oral sex. Doesn't rule out mutual masturbation, but hey, whatever. Also, to the OP... it's not just HIS job to bring the condoms! You are perfectly capable of bringing condoms as well, so it's just as much your fault as his.

americayay 0

Well, 95. I hadn't actually thought about that, but yes OP, if you knew the goal was sex, you should've bought your own damned condoms.

I find this whole FML hard to believe. I think this is a fake. If OP needed to go all the way to Colorado to get ****** then who is that 'friend'? Your brother? Cousin? That hideous monster from the big, black lagoon? And also, No Wal-Marts opened 24/7 in Colorado!? Anywhere?

Every Wal-Mart in Colorado is open 24/7...... Plus there is 7-11 too and a lot of grocery stores even stay open 24 hours a day. Clearly they didn't travel too far in search of condoms.....

Don't forget about gas stations too. They always sell small boxes of condoms.

Never seen a gas station sell condoms, personally. But... seriously... why did they go all the way to Colorado just to have sex? And why "friend"? Why didn't you get condoms, too? And, STD alert without the condoms, yeah, but there are ways to have fun without sticking a dick in you somewhere. I know this and I'm a virgin. You, OP, are just sad, sad, sad. Unless you actually went to Colorado to enjoy a good WEEKEND together, not a single night, then, okay, no big deal, you two had fun playing cards, yeah? OP are you male or female, by chance? For some reason, the complete mystery gender + "friend" screams gay to me . Don't be afraid to say so, it's the Internet...

Cling wrap is a good substitute. And you can't get pregnant if you're standing up or if it's your first time!

Wow man thanks for that. You've really opened my eyes.

yeahh... dont listen to this, i found out thats bullshit the hard way (well not that hard for me but for the chick) And i agree, whats wrong with a bit of oral/hand relief/bum hole ;)

mifo all I have to say is that you are a moron. Cling wrap IS NOT a substitute and you can get pregnate and transfer STDs no matter if it is your first time or not and no matter what position you are in. Go to the book store right now and get you a sex ed book for crying out loud.

Or if the woman's on top, that's just gravity.

fail to everyone who missed the extremely blatant sarcasm here.

#77, wtf does "srrz" mean? Is that a lazy abbreviation for something? An acronym?

Hey, smart one, how about oral sex? Or a hand job?

or think about condoms somewhere along the way?

Futt_Buck 0

Why not just play strip poker? It doesn't have to end in someone getting pregnant.

If that's your friend, what do you do with girlfriends?

HuskyButt 0

I just wonder why someone wants sex with "a friend". And yeah, like #2 said, there ways to have fun without condoms.

That's what I was thinking. **** much? Jesus, and why the **** would you need to drive all the way to Colorado from Texas!?

**** doesn't mean what you apparently think it does.

Texans tend to do that... Haven't quite figured out why yet... It's not like we really want them here. But, I digress. Gas stations in Colorado are open 24/7, as are 7/11s, Kings, Wal Marts, and various other places. And even South Park has a 7/11, despite being able to drive through it in all of 30 seconds. There are multiple places you could have gone. YDI for all that and more.

Does '****' mean someone who expects her friends to be constantly ready to f&$k her? Sounds like a good definition to me

It's called the mouth, use it. And you can find condoms everywhere like public bathrooms. And who would have sex with just a friend?

Zakky_Ketchup 0

Dude, that's what shower curtains and duct tape are for. If not, just learn to love it in the butt.

deprivedwriter 0

lol...Try to love it in the butt... I love it #13 Yeah...Oral, anal... But if it's just a friend...I suppose you still deserve it for not accounting for all variables...him not bringing condoms...

#177 you're a creepy ************

Hardly an FML. You could just go to a clinic in the morning and buy a morning after pill. And don't you know what oral is? Or he could use a Milky Way wrapper...