Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
Add a comment - Reply to : #
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account
Sign in
Top comments
By
doubleddun
| 9
That's brilliant
By
IconicLemon
| 8
HAHAHA. Your's and her face would have been priceless!
COMMENTS
By
doubleddun
| 9
That's brilliant
Reply
WaSiSimiLang
| 8
Knock yourself out
Knock out
Wipe you out
Exterminate you
Eliminate you
Bleh
Meh
Kill yourself.
Yes, word association cum thesaurus in the brain is brilliant.
Knock out
Wipe you out
Exterminate you
Eliminate you
Bleh
Meh
Kill yourself.
Yes, word association cum thesaurus in the brain is brilliant.
Reply
Inheritance
| 10
Her blank expression of surprise and what the hell was more or less priceless I bet.
Reply
LiesAndMischief
| 4
This is literally the first FML that actually made me laugh out loud. While everyone else in the house is sleeping, of course.
Reply
greenimk
| 4
"Hey can I borrow your phone?"
"Kill yourself out."
"..."
"Kill yourself out."
"..."
Reply
FATTY_MCDOOGLE
| 29
Seems like he's been on the internet for too long.
By
IconicLemon
| 8
HAHAHA. Your's and her face would have been priceless!
Reply
chatoyant_fml
| 12
That also might have been a good test to see if the girl got a sense of humor as well.
Reply
Cairo_Sanchez
| 8
You're a Champion!
By
mayyberry
| 4
'hey can I borrow your phone please?'
'kill yourself'
Haha aw OP
'kill yourself'
Haha aw OP
Reply
I_iz_B_a_troll
| 23
I can imagine this relationship a few years down the road, OP pulls out a ring: "Will you.. Will you.. Will you blow me?"
Reply
shellz102
| 12
Well that escalated quicky...
Reply
Wiringify
| 22
A few years is not so quick.
Reply
MormonPornstar
| 7
55 - She was talking about the 'blow me vs. marry me' comment. Open ze eyes
By
imavelociraptor
| 6
Well now she's DYING to go out with you :)
Let us know how your first date goes OP.
Let us know how your first date goes OP.
Reply
cosmosis
| 12
Yeap. If only scoring a first date was as easy as lending someone a phone... Time to get out of the basement and into the real world chief.
Reply
BellaBelle_fml
| 23
Hey you never know when, where, or how you could meet your future bf/gf or spouse. My grandparents met on a train. My Papa was sitting in the aisle seat and my Nana was standing fairly close to him when the train suddenly lurched forward sending my Nana right into my Papa's lap! And the rest is history :)
Reply
bioboy725
| 10
25 And that's where babies come from!
Reply
imavelociraptor
| 6
12- for someone who spends so much time in the "real world" you have a very poor understanding of sarcasm.
Video chatting doesn't count..... Chief :)
Video chatting doesn't count..... Chief :)
By
stompic
| 2
shit happens...
FYL, dude :)
FYL, dude :)
Reply
Jessiegirl122
| 7
oxyMORON.
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
5- That's why we're on this site.
By
ljord2n
| 4
Haha great story to tell your grand children
By
Hiimhaileypotter
| 52
I hope you apologized and corrected yourself and then had a good laugh about it with her. :)
By
Ks22
| 4
Did she use the phone after you said that? How funny though.
By
Snackycake
| 20
Op's username:D
Reply
CharresBarkrey
| 15
... Is spelled wrong.
Reply
WaSiSimiLang
| 8
Testicles + tentacles = testacles.
Op was cursing over a male squid/octopus.
Op was cursing over a male squid/octopus.
Reply
CheeseTron
| 15
Chuck testa
Reply
Blacktom_fml
| 6
testaments plus testicles makes testacles
By
Enigmax2514
| 7
You should have went on and said "kill yourself, for you must have been an angel, and this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you". Starry, starry night...