That's brilliant

Knock yourself out
Knock out
Wipe you out
Exterminate you
Eliminate you
Bleh
Meh
Kill yourself.

Yes, word association cum thesaurus in the brain is brilliant.

Her blank expression of surprise and what the hell was more or less priceless I bet.

This is literally the first FML that actually made me laugh out loud. While everyone else in the house is sleeping, of course.

"Hey can I borrow your phone?"
"Kill yourself out."
"..."

Seems like he's been on the internet for too long.

HAHAHA. Your's and her face would have been priceless!

That also might have been a good test to see if the girl got a sense of humor as well.

You're a Champion!

'hey can I borrow your phone please?'
'kill yourself'
Haha aw OP

I can imagine this relationship a few years down the road, OP pulls out a ring: "Will you.. Will you.. Will you blow me?"

Well that escalated quicky...

A few years is not so quick.

55 - She was talking about the 'blow me vs. marry me' comment. Open ze eyes

Well now she's DYING to go out with you :)
Let us know how your first date goes OP.

Yeap. If only scoring a first date was as easy as lending someone a phone... Time to get out of the basement and into the real world chief.

Hey you never know when, where, or how you could meet your future bf/gf or spouse. My grandparents met on a train. My Papa was sitting in the aisle seat and my Nana was standing fairly close to him when the train suddenly lurched forward sending my Nana right into my Papa's lap! And the rest is history :)

25 And that's where babies come from!

12- for someone who spends so much time in the "real world" you have a very poor understanding of sarcasm.
Video chatting doesn't count..... Chief :)

shit happens...
FYL, dude :)

oxyMORON.

5- That's why we're on this site.

Haha great story to tell your grand children

I hope you apologized and corrected yourself and then had a good laugh about it with her. :)

Did she use the phone after you said that? How funny though.

Op's username:D

... Is spelled wrong.

Testicles + tentacles = testacles.

Op was cursing over a male squid/octopus.

Chuck testa

testaments plus testicles makes testacles

You should have went on and said "kill yourself, for you must have been an angel, and this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you". Starry, starry night...