By Holy Testacles - United States
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
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  BellaBelle_fml  |  23

Hey you never know when, where, or how you could meet your future bf/gf or spouse. My grandparents met on a train. My Papa was sitting in the aisle seat and my Nana was standing fairly close to him when the train suddenly lurched forward sending my Nana right into my Papa's lap! And the rest is history :)

By  Enigmax2514  |  7

You should have went on and said "kill yourself, for you must have been an angel, and this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you". Starry, starry night...