Work: Today, a customer yelled at me because I gave her a wrinkled...

By kismet_fire - 04/11/2014 22:57 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a customer yelled at me because I gave her a wrinkled bag. I work in retail, and the bags are all cheap plastic. She wouldn't stop, even when I gave her 3 different bags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 760

You deserved it 2 700

Work

Must be one hell of a novel

Sounds like a scam

Nice guy

By hello higher premiums, fuckwad - 25/08/2013 16:23 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I was driving down a one-way street, when some raging dumbass came screaming the wrong way down the road at me. My instant reaction was to brake and give the guy a chance to do the same. His instant reaction was to keep going and wreck my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 948

You deserved it 3 052

By lol smiley face - 28/11/2009 15:57 - United States

Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 760

You deserved it 10 399

By sleepwalker - 14/09/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, I fell asleep in my math class. Turns out I sleep walk. I woke up at the front of the room with chalk in my hand, scribbles on the board behind me, and the whole class laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 556

You deserved it 8 359

By angelamegan21 - 28/05/2014 20:33 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, I burned my left breast with hot oil at work. Everyone's now calling me "toaster strudel" and singing "This girl is on fire" every time we cross paths. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 504

You deserved it 6 088

By hated - 26/03/2009 17:40 - United States

Today, I was leading a wheelchair fundraiser to raise money to make public areas wheelchair accessible. I had several guest speakers, all of which were confined to wheelchairs. About ten minutes after the fundraiser was supposed to begin, I realized that the stage was wheelchair incompatible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 103

You deserved it 77 489

By jill - 25/02/2014 16:59 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 989

You deserved it 8 138

Feelings

By Anon - 19/10/2020 07:57 - United States

Today, my parents told me, after 30 years of marriage, that they are getting a divorce. I went to my boyfriend's apartment because I needed some comfort. While sobbing to him, he decided to dump me on the spot because my reaction to the news was "immature" and he wants an "adult" relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 634

You deserved it 314

By Kaji - 14/11/2008 11:20 - France

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 473

You deserved it 24 021

By Jan - 27/02/2013 04:50 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 207

You deserved it 4 297

By JDLAX1924 - 05/08/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 742

You deserved it 42 311

By effedfosh - 07/04/2009 04:53 - Canada

Today, I overheard a couple talking behind me. She said, "You wanna know what's really scary?" He said, "the size of that guy? Yeah he's huge", to which she replied, "no, the scary thing is that's a chick." They weren't talking about me, but they sure were talking about my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 512

You deserved it 8 806

By dvddtraveller - 22/04/2016 21:25 - United States - Oakland

Today, I went to the local clinic and I met a really cute guy. We hit it off quite well, and he asked me out. It's like The Fault in Our Stars, but instead of cancer, we have STDs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 714

You deserved it 7 371

Backhanded

By eliinu - 02/09/2016 02:45 - United States - Middlesboro

Today, my aunt said that it looked like I lost some weight. I was pleased with this, since I've been trying to lose some. My mom, for some reason, thought it was insulting. She pulled me to aside to assure me that I most definitely don't look any skinnier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 088

You deserved it 912

By thefifthdoctor - 10/12/2013 06:04 - United States - Seattle

Today, I had to listen to fellow classmates whine about selling one of their many houses, while I can barely afford to pay for a $100 textbook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 801

You deserved it 3 444

By gotitEVERYWHERE - 08/03/2010 22:40 - United States

Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 112

You deserved it 6 841

By Alittlebitiffy - 14/11/2016 12:42 - Australia - Caloundra

Today, for the 16th day in a row, my husband slept in the guest room because he doesn't want to disturb the dogs once they've fallen asleep on our bed, so they don't hate him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 062

You deserved it 1 261

By Thorin - 25/01/2010 21:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised it's impossible to cut yourself with. Twice. Guess I always was an overachiever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 380

You deserved it 6 653

By babysheets - 17/03/2012 16:22 - Uruguay

Today, I washed my sheets. They wouldn't dry quick enough, so I had to use my old Buzz Lightyear sheets. My new girlfriend took it upon herself to become a damn psychic and pay me a surprise visit right there and then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 357

You deserved it 4 343

By dirtyhands - 18/02/2009 23:01 - United States

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 447

You deserved it 62 760

By Blake Lawrence - 26/11/2012 18:59 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 755

You deserved it 2 598

Medicare for all

By US_Healthcare_Sucks - 30/07/2021 14:01

Today, I went to a doctor's appointment, being concerned about some abnormal swelling and soreness in one of my testicles. They fondled my balls for 20 seconds before saying, "Yeah, that's abnormal. You should probably go get an ultrasound somewhere and maybe take some ibuprofen for the pain. That'll be $265." FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 74

By zztopspinner - 14/03/2012 19:11 - United States

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 687

You deserved it 36 414

By Anonymous - 03/04/2017 02:00

Today, I had to remove a splinter from one of my roommates. This would have been better if the splinter wasn't deeply lodged in their asscheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 730

You deserved it 375

Welcome to the machine

By Anonymous - 30/09/2021 20:01

Today, I was laid off on the day I was about to put in an offer on a house. This company promised me the world, and I broke myself working to prove my worth. Turns out, I wasn't getting paid for the lunches and breaks I didn't take either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 035

You deserved it 130

By anonymous - 12/12/2011 00:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, and gave his little speech, over the phone. He did all this while his ass was firmly planted in a chair in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 145

You deserved it 2 668

By IAmACoolCat - 05/07/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 449

You deserved it 4 935

Rationalization

By Anonymous - 28/04/2021 02:00

Today, I'm getting divorced because I found out that my husband of 17 years cheated on me when I was pregnant, all 3 times. He also had a year-long relationship with another woman, but, "it doesn't count because she knew I wasn't going to leave you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 215

You deserved it 91

By PookaKay02 - 20/09/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 970

You deserved it 8 593

By BohGlam - 01/12/2016 20:30

Today, my boss reprimanded me for my lack of media communications skills. It would be more understandable if I weren't a janitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 142

You deserved it 622

By why?! - 10/09/2011 01:57 - United States

Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 177

You deserved it 2 840

By Anonymous - 09/01/2010 00:09 - United States

Today, formal portraits of my entire class were posted online, with about five photos per person. As my mom was looking at them, she was commenting about how pretty all my classmates look. When she got to my photos, all she had to say was "ugh". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 751

You deserved it 2 531

Overreaching

By Anonymous - 11/05/2021 00:01

Today, I was told I can’t wear a nose ring at my new job because several customers "don’t like it." It’s a very small nose ring and the job is a shack that serves food through a window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 331

By grandpa porn - 28/08/2017 01:30

Today, while I was walking to the kitchen, I heard someone on the TV moaning. As I made my way down the stairs, I saw my grandfather quickly change the channel and lean forward. I'm 90% sure I caught my grandpa watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 573

You deserved it 335

By kp - 31/08/2010 12:46 - Australia

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday. After spending a reasonable amount of cash to get us a nice hotel room to celebrate, he decides he would rather spend the night drinking with his friends. They all threw up in the bath tub before passing out on our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 061

You deserved it 4 474

By I'm out - 06/09/2016 17:02 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I found a thong at my boyfriend's house. When I confronted him about it, he panicked and claimed it was his mom's. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 452

You deserved it 1 317

Sorry!

By Tally - 24/09/2009 16:16 - Canada

Today, I got flowers at work. I was excited, until I saw they were from a friend saying, "Sorry for sleeping with your boyfriend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 697

You deserved it 2 851

Use your socks

By Anonymous - 14/03/2021 05:01 - Norway

Today, I accidentally dropped a whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet. It was my last roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 199

By anidiotskeeper - 12/07/2012 06:03 - United States - Hawthorne

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house and caught her digging for gold. She wasn't picking her nose - she was literally trying to dig for gold in her backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 449

You deserved it 3 059

By spit saliva spit - 07/08/2019 20:00

Today, I drooled on myself during a job interview and was immediately dismissed. This isn’t the first time it’s happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 530

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 13:25 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I realised that I've been working in an all-male environment for too long when my supervisor walked into the canteen visibly scratching his balls, and this seemed like a completely normal occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 287

You deserved it 2 877

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Top comments

adamjcurryy 19

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 10:35

I hate everyone.

Ichiya 29

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 10:38

That woman didn't need a bag because she was one.

adamjcurryy 19

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 10:35

I hate everyone.

Ichiya 29

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 10:37

Thats odd me too, but I fail to see the relevance.

MeanBeagle 22

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 13:14

the ghost of Ebenezer ?

Mattlozano12 15

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 14:00

I feel you man.

watermelon15 35

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 14:57

-__-

JMichael 25

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 15:28

My mood on a daily basis.

HarshD9619 34

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 16:28

#25 sounded really wrong ok

Mattlozano12 15

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 17:49

Huh? You just think in a very immature way #39.

foxwasalamb 24

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 18:54

hes 16 in age, 12 in maturity

demonfacee 14

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Thursday 6 November 2014 1:43

I hate human beings. I'm a vampire.

Ltsdragons 19

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Thursday 6 November 2014 6:48

When I say I hate people, I really mean I am finding it hard to understand the people around me because they make no sense and seem to worsen my current problems

Ichiya 29

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 10:38

That woman didn't need a bag because she was one.

Mattlozano12 15

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 14:19

Ouch, should I apply ice to that burn?

HentaiGod 15

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 18:14

She's wrinkled too.

Glitterbaby2613 20

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Friday 18 June 2021 1:54

give or take a letter😏😏😏

sonasonic 34

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 10:39

Do you ever wish that there was that one day that you could say anything to the customer without repercussions?

watermelon15 35

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 14:58

YAASSSSS!

Mattlozano12 15

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 15:34

Basically everyday of my life..

soulreaper12296 28

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 18:52

I feel that everyday. Not for customers, just in general.

MegasaurusRex89 28

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 20:34

Omg, this! Also, as someone who's been in retail for 7+ years, everyone should be required to work at least 8 months of retail before they can shop it.

spatula232 25

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 10:41

"Ma'am, would you like me to iron the bag for you"

Ichiya 29

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 10:43

I believe you have created a new job: the bag ironer. It their job to tbrow irons and any customer that acts like an old bag.

Ichiya 29

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 10:47

throw* at* Fat fingers and small buttons don't mix.

erenjaeger 16

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 11:11

So many people would be applying for that job. But it does sound fun.

MeanBeagle 22

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 12:57

wouldn't he just give her a paper bag.

littlekellilee 45

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 14:53

Not everyone has paper bags. My grocery stores definitely don't, nor clothes stores.

eleven22 11

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 19:54

I wonder how ironing cheap plastic is going to work out...

jackycat 17

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Thursday 6 November 2014 5:08

It might chase crazy customers out with the stink.

Cass_x 22

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 10:43

Some people just won't be pleased, no matter what you do

sayyestothedress 24

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 12:54

You should have told her that the bag matches her wrinkles on her face!

NellieeNell 18

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Thursday 6 November 2014 19:43

I agree! I work in retail as well & this statement is so true

PennyLane27 32

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 10:51

*****hug***** <-- What anyone working at a store deserves. And a beer.

Sandman366 6

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 15:43

If you work a year in retail without attempting to kill anyone, you deserve a medal. (I know someone who once got a complaint that he was "too nice". Retail customers....it would probably be easier on your sanity to work somewhere that isn't retail but gets robbed at least twice a month.)

Narayan96 13

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 10:51

someone is always there to ruin your day :/

AnOriginalName 19

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Wednesday 5 November 2014 11:05

Tell her that breathing into it will take out all the wrinkles, and it's best that she do it so as to precisely control the amount of wrinkles taken out.