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#29, yes, polyamory comes to mind. Does your wife like her husband, or can she force herself, if necessary?

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14, I think maybe he loves his wife, but is in love with his coworker. They might have a happy marriage and he deeply cares for his wife, but is in love with the other woman. This can happen.

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Of course you can. He could be a polyamorous person which is actually fairly common although most people are never put into the circumstance where it would become evident. And he may not be madly in love with his wife, but if they had a happy, affectionate and stable relationship (possibly with children in the equation) why should they terminate the marriage?

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Op never said in love with the other coworker, just similar feelings. And I do think its also possible to love multiple people at the same time. If you spend enough time with one person you will either grow to love them or hate them. And if you spend time with multiple people by couldn't you love more?

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#14 It's a poetic thought, but life doesn't really work that way. Of course you can be in love with more than one person. I mean, think about how many people we love simultaneously. Romantic relationships aren't magically exclusive. We make them that way by making a commitment. And that's the important point - if one of those people you're in love with is the one you've committed to, then your love for someone else should be pushed aside.

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31 - You have a bit of a misunderstanding add to what polyamory is. What you're proposing just sounds like swinging.

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You say polyamorous like it's a sexual orientation. People are naturally capable of attraction to multiple people, and we're certainly capable of friendship-like strong feelings for many people (can't argue with that, right? We all have many close friends) and being in love (or at least thinking you're in love) is some combination of the two. Doesn't that suggest that we're all capable of at least thinking we're in love with more than one person at once? If we were all a little more honest with

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The heart wants what the heart wants. There has to be something missing in both of the marriages for both of them to have feelings for the other. I think I would do some soul searching and figure out why I would be falling in love with someone when I am already married.

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It's strange. Everyone here is discussing polyamory, like that's the most common explanation when a happily married person falls in love with someone else. Isn't it more likeable to say that being happily married for years and years and years can feel a bit boring? You know everything about your partner, there are little or no surprises anymore and whoppah, then you meet this fantastic coworker who's totally different and you start to fall in love, a magical feeling that you haven't felt for qui

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i kind of agree with you. marriage can get very stale to thr point that you look for an exit. you have shared someones life for so long and you still love them but it can become comfortable and too safe. most people will not act on this feeling of the need to escape and search out the new and exciting and the feeling does pass. i do think though that it is possible to love two or more people in the same way at thr same time. i beleive this is what causes the more upsetting emotional affair rathe

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You can still be happily married and have feelings for someone else. It happens all the freaking time, after all.

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207- I agree with you, but isn't that what OP is doing, or has done, already? Sorting out his emotions to avoid a love life in turmoil?

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yes you can. just because you're happily married does not mean you can't develop feelings for someone that has similar interests are feelings of you.

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A psychologist once explained to me, that it is not unusual when you've been with someone for a long time that you "fall in love" with someone else who reminds you of those first months with your current partner where everything was new and exciting but you aren't really in love with the new guy/girl. It's normally just a sexual affection you mistake for love because you naturally like the excitement of a different sexual partner and after you've had sex with that new person a few time

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People can absolutely have feelings for or love more than one person. It's called polyamory. Many people exist in very happy poly relationships between multiple people. OP clearly values monogamy, and so did the responsible thing in deciding to stop being around this woman out of respect for his and his wife's relationship. His initial feelings don't necessarily mean anything in regards to his relationship with his wife.

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I blame the English language for this misunderstanding. "Love" is a word that covers a wide gamut of feelings. One of them - in psychological parlance sometimes called "limerance" - is fairly much exclusive. It's the feeling you get as you fall in love, the initial passionate love. However, this feeling is temporary, lasting up to a couple of years. After that, you fall back on other feelings - which English also labels "love". In many other languages, this co

State that there is a conflict of interest to your boss. You really don't want to put yourself in that position, OP, especially once you decide to be loyal to your spouse.

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#173 Because lacking are the Disney movies about how the universe is a big unfair mess of random shit and awkward gray areas. Love is just as random, awkward and gray as everything else in life. Anyone who tells you Real Love is all about getting married and living happily ever after is trying to end a book or a screenplay that they've gotten bored with writing. Sincerely, a happily married woman ;)

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I don't know what you're talking about, #182. As soon as I got married everything became perfect! No more fighting, missionary position never gets old... Birds and squirrels talk to us in the forest n shit. Magical ring of foreverness. - happily married dude

Have a serious think about your marriage - is your heart still in it? And what is more important to you - marriage or promotion? As the latter may ruin the former.

I'm not going to condone 'live happy and leave your spouses' but I would have a serious conversation to properly sort it out, otherwise its just going to end badly for everyone. Although by the sound of it not every party is entirely happy are they? Food for thought...

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