By itisobviouseinstein - United States - New York Today, a bible toting evangelist on the street ambushed me and asked me what my religion was. I wear a hijab. FML I agree, your life sucks 24716 You deserved it 3669 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SadFoxLady - United States - Des Moines Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML I agree, your life sucks 37734 You deserved it 55485 320 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By all arsed out - United Kingdom - Spalding Today, I suffered an uncontrollable sneezing attack. I have the runs. It wasn't exactly as bad as I'd have expected. Just a lot worse. FML I agree, your life sucks 19571 You deserved it 1543 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NoOrdinaryNZer - New Zealand - Christchurch Today, an old man, while I was working, asked me to spell average-length words. Confused, I refused. Turns out I was apparently taking too long counting the large amount of small change he'd given to me, and he assumed I couldn't count or spell. I study law, and I've learned basic calculus. Welcome to retail. FML I agree, your life sucks 10697 You deserved it 973 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Bedford Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML I agree, your life sucks 32337 You deserved it 36180 350 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pandora - Israel - Palmahim Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML I agree, your life sucks 28442 You deserved it 5044 131 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lyss - United States - New Prague Today, my 4-year-old daughter asked me when I was going to be skinny like her daycare lady. FML I agree, your life sucks 2486 You deserved it 342 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Longmont Bad thought Today, I found out that my parents have thought I'm lesbian for at least a year. I now understand why my dad has been trying to get me to "hang out" with his co-worker's daughter. FML I agree, your life sucks 1746 You deserved it 188 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Rae - United States Today, I was fired for not attending a mandatory meeting. I confronted my boss and told her I never heard anything about it, she told me that daily reminders had been sent out via email for weeks. She then discovered that she failed to enter my email address in the system. I was still fired. FML I agree, your life sucks 54164 You deserved it 2790 131 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LETMEOUT! Today, despite being claustrophobic and avoiding lifts at all costs, I had to use the lift at work to carry boxes of paper to the 3rd floor. It broke down. FML I agree, your life sucks 3669 You deserved it 285 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ages ago - Poland - Warsaw Today, two guys robbed me. As I wrestled them on the ground, my best friend just stood next to all this, telling me to give them the money already, or we'd be late for school. FML I agree, your life sucks 1861 You deserved it 215 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Sun Prairie Today, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver my best friend's baby. I later found out that my ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML I agree, your life sucks 48619 You deserved it 3095 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - India - Kolkata Today, is my five year anniversary. My boyfriend said he was gonna get me something shiny this year. I thought he was gonna propose. He got me a set of sparkle glue. FML I agree, your life sucks 26539 You deserved it 3475 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tiak - United States Today, my mom has been calling me every ten minutes, asking me questions about her new computer. She called me at work, and I rudely answered her question. She called back, talked to my boss, saying she was a customer that called in, and I was rude to her. FML I agree, your life sucks 86067 You deserved it 16714 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TheJazzKid - United States Today, I played a Jazz gig. It rained, making the tent the band performed under heavy with water. When I stepped forward to play my solo, the front end of the tent collapsed under the weight of the rain, drenching me. FML I agree, your life sucks 27155 You deserved it 2553 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ohai - United States Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML I agree, your life sucks 40429 You deserved it 3050 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ifmlftw - United States Today, I was sitting next to a lady on an airplane who was very overweight. She fell asleep on me, and violently bled from her nose upon take off and landing. FML I agree, your life sucks 38988 You deserved it 3046 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By booboo300 Today, I was supposed to have sex with my ex after he’d been out of town for a week. After a lot of build up and sexting last night, I woke up sick and he hurt his leg. It’s like our bodies are telling us not to sleep together. FML I agree, your life sucks 837 You deserved it 2203 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By athlete47 Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I was "changing too much." My big change was a haircut. FML I agree, your life sucks 1567 You deserved it 122 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By missclitter - United States Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend, when I had to go pee. Halfway down the aisle, I tripped, screamed, and fell face-first into some guy. My boyfriend is now accusing me of cheating and "flirting" with every man I see. FML I agree, your life sucks 29733 You deserved it 4035 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kiwibox - United Kingdom - Ipswich Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML I agree, your life sucks 47986 You deserved it 7111 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Pontypridd Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML I agree, your life sucks 36501 You deserved it 3296 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tictacnose - Canada Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML I agree, your life sucks 34399 You deserved it 3192 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bluevayero Today, I found out I lost a promotion intended for me because I was on planned vacation. FML I agree, your life sucks 2315 You deserved it 140 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jillian Drute - United States Today, my mom showed up completely hammered to a party I was throwing. The party was to celebrate the ten years that I've been sober. FML I agree, your life sucks 36248 You deserved it 2870 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Traverse City Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML I agree, your life sucks 38708 You deserved it 5892 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Bemidji Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML I agree, your life sucks 52265 You deserved it 13645 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pokeloser Today, my high point was still being able to recite all 151 generation one Pokémon in order, from memory. I need a life. FML I agree, your life sucks 1275 You deserved it 561 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By waterbottlehit - United States Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML I agree, your life sucks 30300 You deserved it 3446 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Springfield Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML I agree, your life sucks 27265 You deserved it 2146 162 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mr.Viola - United States Today, my future father-in-law, a respectable New England gentleman, bought me an $8,000 viola and bow for our engagement. I was so surprised that I spit a glass of wine from a 60 year old bottle all over his custom-tailored suit. He was not happy. FML I agree, your life sucks 31847 You deserved it 13764 165 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By trippiex Today, I was driving by the carnival and I really had to use the bathroom. I saw a porta-potty next to a house, so I parked in their front yard to use the bathroom very quickly. I came out to see a group of teenage boys urinating on my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 1706 You deserved it 792 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By haha247 - United States Today, I was helping my brother clean his room. While putting clothes away, I found a box of thongs. They were mine. FML I agree, your life sucks 58109 You deserved it 3904 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By actionboy116 - United States - Saint Paul Today, while working as a cart attendant, I found one of my coworkers on a lawn chair sipping on a Bud light in the parking lot, while we both were supposed to be working, leaving me to push carts by myself. My boss comes out to me catching my breath and tells me to work harder. FML I agree, your life sucks 27361 You deserved it 1954 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my lazy, obese mother took the last motor cart at the grocery store. My leg is in a cast. She told me to "use the shopping cart to help with the limp" as she rolled away. FML I agree, your life sucks 3281 You deserved it 211 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rink.attendant.6 - Canada - Dryden Today, I saw my crush working the only open till at the grocery store. When she saw me approach her queue, she immediately called for more cashiers. FML I agree, your life sucks 26044 You deserved it 3576 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By robbyrabbit - United States Today, I went to the place I signed for yesterday to pay the first month's rent and get my keys. I looked around before I left, and used the toilet. I went back later to show my boyfriend and found the place flooded an inch with water coming from the toilet. It had been flooding for 7 hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 25922 You deserved it 4690 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, for my Teen Living class, all the students got a fake baby. In order to stop the baby from crying, you have to use the bracelet they provide. I lost the bracelet. I have the baby all weekend. FML I agree, your life sucks 9651 You deserved it 40829 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lunarstrain - United Kingdom Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML I agree, your life sucks 48951 You deserved it 8501 361 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By PeepShow - United States Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML I agree, your life sucks 24209 You deserved it 46963 143 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mybad - United States Today, a customer brought her kids into the store where I work. I like to make people laugh so being my usual joking self I kidded "Why aren't those kids in school?". She didn't laugh when she said that their house burned down the night before and the kids had no clothes to wear to school. FML I agree, your life sucks 48096 You deserved it 13207 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 20bricks | 28 #6423776 - Wednesday 30 September 2015 16:59 Tell him you believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster, then spill a plate of spaghetti on his head to baptize him as well. Send a private message 128 13 Reply
By MegasaurusRex89 | 28 #6423778 - Wednesday 30 September 2015 16:59 People who do that really should be educating themselves about other religions as well. I hope he was nice about it at least. Send a private message 81 6 Reply
By 20bricks | 28 #6423776 - Wednesday 30 September 2015 16:59 Tell him you believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster, then spill a plate of spaghetti on his head to baptize him as well. Send a private message 128 13 Reply
By MegasaurusRex89 | 28 #6423778 - Wednesday 30 September 2015 16:59 People who do that really should be educating themselves about other religions as well. I hope he was nice about it at least. Send a private message 81 6 Reply
By upgradestorm1 | 20 #6423786 - Wednesday 30 September 2015 17:03 Should have said "Hail Cthulhu" Send a private message 67 3 Reply
Reply ImmortalSyn | 17 #6423791 - Wednesday 30 September 2015 17:08 Should have said "hail Satan" and started making up Latin chants. Send a private message 7 30 Reply
By jeanniecm1984 | 17 #6423790 - Wednesday 30 September 2015 17:07 I usually tell those people that I'm pagan. Send a private message 15 5 Reply
By brendejafulable | 41 #6423792 - Wednesday 30 September 2015 17:09 why don't cha just tell him? obviously he doesn't know. Send a private message 19 8 Reply
By backdoorman010 | 9 #6423798 - Wednesday 30 September 2015 17:13 how is this an fml? you could have just kindly told him your religion and educated him Send a private message 1 1 Reply
By interesting33 | 36 #6423800 - Wednesday 30 September 2015 17:15 It was probably an opening line thing. But other religions wear head scarves I think too, though Islam is the one most prominent in the US I think. Not okay for them to accost you though Send a private message 16 5 Reply
By juicy_extasy | 25 #6423801 - Wednesday 30 September 2015 17:16 Choice of username is awesome Send a private message 13 4 Reply
By backdoorman010 | 9 #6423809 - Wednesday 30 September 2015 17:21 why didn't you just tell him your religion and educate him? Send a private message 16 5 Reply
By quinn1184 | 25 #6423810 - Wednesday 30 September 2015 17:22 you should've made an awful screeching noise and started babbling non-sense to freak him out Send a private message 16 5 Reply
Today, I found out that my cross-dressing father and my recently deceased mother were having a much more "open" relationship then they'd let on, when the... I agree, your life sucks 3 You deserved it 0 0 Comments
Today, I caught up with a good friend and he let me rant about my sexless marriage. He was really understanding and supportive. I got home and he sent... I agree, your life sucks 638 You deserved it 137 4 Comments