This Week’s Top 10 Comments Are In And The Puns Will Make You Roll Your Eyes In The Best Way
10. We all make mistakes, but I know what what you meant.
“That’s quiet the veggie tale”
9. A blessing in disguise.
“At least you won’t be able to smell what’s about to come exploding out.”
8. Who doesn’t appreciate a good dad joke from time to time?
“Wall's well that ends well.”
7. A little harsh, but I’m still laughing.
“Are you hearing banjo music in the background?”
6. Dearly beloved.
“Request denied. If he’s not willing to do that for you, maybe you need to stage a funeral for this relationship.”
5. Tripartita sees through you, OP.
Say hello to my plastic friend!Today, my principal made me visit "anti-violence" classes because I had a picture of me threatening a man with a gun on my Facebook page. It was taken during the school play, where I was acting as a gangster and the gun was just a toy. The principal saw the play. FML
“Are you sure this isn’t just a humblebrag about your incredibly convincing skills as an actor?”
4. More proof that people are the problem.
“Your husband is contributing to global warming at an alarming level. Please close your window and call the paris agreement hotline. Unless you are in the usa. Then call the epa.”
3. Could say the same about you.
2. *Raises one eyebrow*
“She got herself into a real pickle.”
“You might say the pickle actually got into her.”
1. Do you dare?
“Sure... if you really wanna experience a birth and then a death in the same day.”
META COMMENT BONUS ROUND
“Those students who snuck in late while you were running interference now think you’re an asshole. You just lost four free beers!”
“Maybe if you were on time, they would’ve been more sympathetic. Js.”
“Just a quick question, are you another member of that disgusting family that identifies each other through farts?”
“I bet you’re wishing you’d just had a cucumber now aren’t you?”
“You’re lucky he didn’t do a colonoscopy and find your hidden cucumber!”
“First she stole money from a disabled person, and now she's hiding parking tickets. Think we got a nomination for "Mom of the Year" award!”
“Did he tell his teacher not to watch "Two Girls, One Cup"?”
CONFUCIUS SAYS AWARD
“If a fisherman goes fishing, does he try to catch ALL the fish in the lake, or the one who just happens to get hooked?”
KNOWING WHEN TO ADMIT YOU WERE WRONG AWARD
“Erm, #3 appears to be a fairly conspicuous Photoshop job.”
“No, me, you can see the back of the bride’s leg reflected; it’s real.”
PINK FLOYD AWARD
“Did you try to become another brick in the wall?”
HORATIO CAINE DROPS ANOTHER ONE-LINER
“I guess you could say...*puts on sunglasses*...this FML isn't fabricated.”
THERE IS NO POLICING THE INTERWEBZ AWARD
“There is no mother, YOU are the long term patient at the psychiatric hospital for hallucinations.”
“That’s not funny.”
“It’s a little funny.”