This Month's Funniest FML's - As Voted by Our Users !
Here's the round up of the 10 funniest FML's published over the past month, according to our users' votes!
1 - Dating life is hell.
2 - Inform, educate and entertain.
Onan would be proudToday, my little twelve year-old cousin who is staying with us for a while so his parents can "work out issues" ran into my room, his face ghostly white. He begged me to take him to the hospital because he "tugged" on his penis too much in the shower, and was "bleeding milky stuff." Sigh. FML
3 - Living in the middle of nowhere seems like the best option sometimes.
By loud sweeper
Mrs Heckles?Today, my batshit crazy downstairs neighbor threatened me with "legal action" for making too much noise. According to her, it’s "illegal" for people in upstairs apartments to use vacuum cleaners, therefore I must sweep my carpets to avoid disturbing her and her imaginary guests. FML
4 - A very "hands-on" boss.
By Worst Way To Get Promoted
Promoted!Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML
5 - A parking lot mix up, and a lot of assuming people are wrong-doing.
By tried to help
Stranger Danger!Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML
6 - Mom has the best one-liners.
Zing!Today, I overheard my wife and teenage daughter arguing. My wife was complaining that our daughter is unappreciative. "You should thank me for giving you life," she said. My daughter snapped, "I thank God for that, not you." My wife sighed and said, "He didn't have to sleep with your father." FML
7 - This should be in some sort of sketch show on TV.
By I Hate My Brother - United Kingdom - Colchester
8 - Love is… Knowing when to let someone wank in peace.
9 - When all electronics should be turned off or logged out. Sex is off the clock!
10 - Fashion is so COMPLICATED.
Hey, that's a great look!
That's it for now, see you next time!
By Alan / Thursday 24 October 2019 10:11 /