Think You Know FML? Think Again! It's Quiz Time!

It's Wednesday again, and we all know what that means... It's time for the 5th ever FML quiz! In honor of this momentous occasion, I've been listening to Mambo Number 5 all day. Judge me or join me; I don't really care as long as you have fun!
If you're new, don't panic:
It's super simple. Just choose the best multiple-choice option to complete the FML. Scroll down for the answer key. Comment your results. Champs win bragging rights, but everyone gets a compliment from me (even if they did a pretty terrible job (I'm looking at you, Nina)) until the next quiz comes out a week later. Nothing but good vibes here, guys. (Except for Nina. Shame.)
Let us begin.
Today, my 84-year-old grandmother taught me...
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a sex position. FML
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a keyboard shortcut. FML
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how to throw a "manlier" punch. FML
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what FML stood for. FML
Today, after threatening my son for weeks that if he didn't clean his room, I would, I went in, equipped with a garbage bag, ready to throw away everything I found, only to discover...
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dozens of empty bottles, two partially empty pizza boxes, Taco Bell wrappers, and cockroaches. FML
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a mountain of used condoms that had been tossed in the corner. FML
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that he'd moved out yesterday. FML
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stacks of hentai books and piles of dirty tissues. FML
Today, while I was at home watching Netflix, my parents drunkenly stumbled through the door making out the whole time. I thought that the situation couldn't get worse, but then my Dad asked me if I...
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would mind leaving the house for an hour. FML
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could throw their sheets in with the wash tomorrow. FML
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had a condom they could use. FML
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could put on my noise-canceling headphones for a while. FML
Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for...
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something to piss right through my window. FML
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a homeless guy to run by and snatch my phone. FML
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a giant crustacean from the paleolithic era to lean in and demand tree fiddy. FML
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the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML
Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that...
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he thinks he may be a reincarnation of Franklin Roosevelt. FML
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my aura is questionable. FML
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I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML
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aliens walk among us. FML
Got your final answers? Scroll through Mambo Number 5 to find out how you did!
(Get it?)
tl;dr - BACDC
How did it go this week? Was it easy-breezy lemon squeezy? Or did I Skittle you guys again?
Comment your score below and I'll show you love. I promise.
Have a goovy Wednesday! Dance like no one cares. They probably don't.
Until next week,
Cali ♡
EDIT: This is for those of you that didn't understand the clever gif sequence (*cough* EVERYBODY *cough*). I'm leaving you to reflect on the wise words of Lou Bega:
A little bit of Monica in my life
A little bit of Eric(a) by my side
A little bit of Rita is all I need
A little bit of Tina is what I see
A little bit of Sandra in the sun
A little bit of Mary all night long
A little bit of Jessica here I am
A little bit of you makes me your man