The Top 11 Funniest Tweets Of The Week
*Drives off into sunset*— Molly England (@bluebonetbabies) September 25, 2018
*turns around because forgot phone*
10. No Joke
[through chopstick walrus tusks] divorth?— jo diggity (@WhaJoTalkinBout) September 24, 2018
9. I don't make the rules.
Delta: you can bring one free carry-on— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) September 25, 2018
8. Rookie Mistake
Me: just gonna sign into Netflix using the tv remote real quick.— Oops!...I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) September 27, 2018
ME: [with a full beard] and now for the password.
7. * vomits *
The good news is that we finally found the sippy cup of milk our toddler hid. The bad news is that that toddler is now 11 years old.— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) September 24, 2018
6. Sound it out...
Me: I'm a capable, smart woman.— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) September 26, 2018
Also me: Wed-nes-day.
This is insane. IT’S MEANT TO RECLINE. https://t.co/uJOUkt6fKi— Nikki Glaser (@NikkiGlaser) September 22, 2018
In 5th grade, we were asked to bring in a food that was traditional in our family. Pat brought doughnuts. Pat’s mom got it.— Mary (@AnniemuMary) September 23, 2018
Child: I want two sandwiches.— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) September 27, 2018
Me: I’ll make you one sandwich.
Child: I want two.
Me: You won’t eat two.
Child: YES I WILL I’M STARVING
Me: If I make you two sandwiches, you’d better eat two sandwiches.
Child: I will.
Child [halfway through first sandwich]: I’m full.
2. Introvert Struggles
“I’ma go home to change and then meet y’all down there later.” pic.twitter.com/Pid7HdbsAF— Tomiko (@MikoAriel) September 23, 2018
1. Fair Point
4-year-old: Can I watch the Grinch?— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) September 23, 2018
Me: It's not Christmas.
4: He might steal Halloween.
That's all, folks! Tune in next week for more top tweets!