The Top 11 Funniest Tweets Of The Week
11. Oops.
*Drives off into sunset*
— Molly England (@bluebonetbabies) September 25, 2018
*turns around because forgot phone*
10. No Joke
[through chopstick walrus tusks] divorth?
— jo diggity (@WhaJoTalkinBout) September 24, 2018
9. I don't make the rules.
Delta: you can bring one free carry-on
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) September 25, 2018
Me: pic.twitter.com/zgtszEcNAd
8. Rookie Mistake
Me: just gonna sign into Netflix using the tv remote real quick.
— Oops!...I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) September 27, 2018
[later]
ME: [with a full beard] and now for the password.
7. * vomits *
The good news is that we finally found the sippy cup of milk our toddler hid. The bad news is that that toddler is now 11 years old.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) September 24, 2018
6. Sound it out...
Me: I'm a capable, smart woman.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) September 26, 2018
Also me: Wed-nes-day.
5. Insanity
This is insane. IT’S MEANT TO RECLINE. https://t.co/uJOUkt6fKi
— Nikki Glaser (@NikkiGlaser) September 22, 2018
4. Win.
In 5th grade, we were asked to bring in a food that was traditional in our family. Pat brought doughnuts. Pat’s mom got it.
— Mary (@AnniemuMary) September 23, 2018
3. #relatable
Child: I want two sandwiches.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) September 27, 2018
Me: I’ll make you one sandwich.
Child: I want two.
Me: You won’t eat two.
Child: YES I WILL I’M STARVING
Me: If I make you two sandwiches, you’d better eat two sandwiches.
Child: I will.
...
Child [halfway through first sandwich]: I’m full.
2. Introvert Struggles
“I’ma go home to change and then meet y’all down there later.” pic.twitter.com/Pid7HdbsAF
— Tomiko (@MikoAriel) September 23, 2018
1. Fair Point
4-year-old: Can I watch the Grinch?
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) September 23, 2018
Me: It's not Christmas.
4: He might steal Halloween.
That's all, folks! Tune in next week for more top tweets!
