The Tally Is In: Here Are the Top 10 Comments of the Week!
10. You can do it, Sam!
“You carried Frodo up Mount Doom, I think you’re very capable of getting yourself to the ER..”
9. A genius solution.
“There's another solution. Simply have one of them transplanted onto your back. That way, it evenly distributes the weight, bringing your overall center of mass more in line with your spine. That'll fix the issue, I'm sure.”
8. Wide straps are the way to go.
“I hope you get all the support you need”
“When you found him, how was he positioned. I’m betting the fecal position?”
6. Peace out home skillet.
“and thats when you got up and left”
5. Like a flat tire.
“He took the phrase “eating you out” way too literally! For revenge, you ought to give him a blow job and inflate him!”
4. Expert punnery, good sir.
“Writing an fml about it, isn’t that a bit of an ovaryreaction?”
3. Peek-a-boo, GhostFox!
“There could have been worse choices. Like "It's a Small World," or "Macarena."”
2. I mean they do say that.
“You know the old saying. Don't have a dance solo when your uterine wall is about to shed or your dance will be ruined and your dress will be red.”
1. Official dad of Fmylife.com
“The mice needed oiling, they’ve been squeaking for a long time.”
META COMMENT BONUS ROUND
“Give her an extremly detailed spreadsheet on how a funeral is cheaper than surgery when she gets admitted to your hospital.”
“All things considered, not that bad. Imagine if you had found him with your dildo. Which, I think, is by far the strangest verse in John Lennon’s Imagine.”
“Use a mold of your dad’s penis instead. 0% risk of torn labias, guaranteed! If you need lube, there’s this woman in Canada who’s giving away a bunch of olive oil for some reason.”
“I should take off my diaper and smear feces all over this comment!”
“And then your wife and her overly protective friend kicked you in the balls..”
DON’T YOU FUCKING SAY IT AWARD
“If only there were a popular descriptor for this kind of situation. Perhaps one that both describes the literal nature of the situation and the feelings it evokes in a single adjective. Maybe even one that was once popular on this very site, yet fell from grace due to overuse. Man, such a thing would make for a perfect commentary on this situation.”
“Ahem.. What a shitty situation!”
“RIP, exileonmainst, it’s been nice knowing you!”
“I thought we were going to have a whole ”I’m Spartacus!” thing, where everyone would stand up for eachother..”
“I’m sorry, but it’s more of a “1984” moment. Big Brother took me to Room 101 over the 'shitty situation' meme.”