The French Connection: 10 Sexy FMLs From The Sexiest Country On The Planet

By Nina / mercredi 12 juillet 2017 02:00
Would you expect anything other than spicy FMLs from the birthplace of the French kiss? You might want to take off a layer because things are about to get hot up in here.

Sure, they've got that irresistable accent going for them, and yeah, they always look chic, and goddamn do they have that rebel without a cause thing going on with a cigarette hanging off their lips, but don't be fooled. They have their share of sexy slip-ups as much as the rest of us schmucks.

1. I'll just wait right here.



  Today, I was talking to my new boyfriend, when he told me, “listen, I’m not the greatest at sex, so if you want to come, you’ll have to do it yourself." FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 23 December 2016 17:23 / France

2. Feel the burn.


  Today, my hubby found it funny to draw a smiling face out of nail polish on his penis. He found it much less funny when I had to use nail polish remover to take it off. FML

By Zizisouriant - / Sunday 2 February 2014 17:28 / France

3. It's a two-part job.


  Today, my boyfriend was blowing his nose when out of nowhere he started laughing and said, “hey, my nose is exactly like you in bed, I have to finish if off with my finger to get the job done.” FML

By Lap - / Monday 12 June 2017 17:19 / France - Paris

4. "Just stay out of my rear view mirror, guys!"


  Today, I had to take my parents to the hospital after a failed attempt at a Kamasutra position. FML

By coinceducul - / Sunday 24 January 2016 17:31 / France

5. She gives "horny" a whole new meaning.


  Today, in the middle of 69ing, my girlfriend put my dick on her forehead and announced “I’m a unicorn!” FML

By rockonbaby - / Friday 13 January 2017 17:33 / France

6. Not ferret all.


Today, I learned that a female ferret can die if she doesn't have sex with a male for one year. Then I realized that if I were a ferret, I would have already died twice. FML

By furrette - / Friday 20 September 2013 17:35 / France

7. Looks like our chances of multiplying are low.

By hannahpasdebol - / Tuesday 2 May 2017 17:39 / France

8. He's also a meat pounding pro. 


  Today, I was on my period and I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend. I told him upfront and he responded simply, “I work in a butcher shop, I’m used to having blood everywhere.” FML

By Volcan - / Thursday 1 June 2017 17:42 / France - Paris

9. You can't unsee that.

By chercheurdusmartphone - / Friday 9 June 2017 17:44 / France - Paris

10. You've set a new record!


  Today, it’s official, 2016 was the most catastrophic year for me, sexually, having had sex a total of zero times. It wouldn’t be so bad if I hadn’t been married for 6 years. FML

By desperatewife - / Friday 1 January 2016 01:47 / France
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