The Best of the Worst of FML #86

Here's a selection of some of the worst, unpublishable FMLs we've received over the years. Read them and weep!

Hello everyone! It's the first week of the month, so here's FML's monthly Best of the Worst of FML!

Even more proof that the internet is full of people who can claim that reality is stranger than fiction.

For the people who've never seen this section of FML before, we get sent loads of FMLs, but we only publish a few, due to the fact that most aren't very good, and some are downright terrifying. Amongst those, we also get sent very dumbass stories. Or "WHAT IS THIS SHITE?" as I like to call them. That's what we post in this feature.

Now, get ready, be prepared.
 

 

Mental

Today... ?I found out I was trapped in mentaltalapthy haha what?

 

Mafia

Last Night: i swear on nine i got stitches because my can opener has a mind of ifts own. LOL. i am not kidding. also the mafia is here. P

 

Demon

Today, I feel like I am losing ground on what's happening in my head. I already have a fractured brain. I drink to allow them all free-range anatomy. They are all in agreement that we are all on a decline. Constant chaos and unrest in my head. Everyday. I try to distract myself with women. Ultimately, I'm a demon. Well, one of is. We don't know where to go from here. We've lost direction and can't find our way back.. FML

 

Asteroid

\n\n\n\n\n\nEarth is about to get hit by an asteroid probably...\n\n\n\n\nThat means ? get in that fuckin bed\n\n\n\nAnd dream a better way out

 

Didn't do shit

PSA: September 13th is a Friday and a full moon. Prepare accordingly...FML

 

Boat launch

That awkward moment when you and the hubs are in shed chilling taking dirty pics and someone walks up from the public boat launch behind our and says “dead battery can I get a jump?” ?‍♀️?‍♀️?‍♀️

 

Obvious age

Today, the girls in the class started arguing about something completely insignificant. The arguments butthurt like a 3000V electrocuting dildo in ... while chewing on a cactus. We were also heavily overwhelmed by air-cancer. FML! - Boy (16)

 

Influencer?

Today, Please working for brands, think they are god, useless bunch of losers, don't work well and money gets stuck of so to say their partners. partners which are helping them survive and get promotions .. cause these partners slog their ass off to deliver good which these MF show as their work. FML

 

What?

Today test was not done but my daughter doesn’t anything about common sense... FML

 

Drunk text

Today, Some time good memories give........ :-( Ii miss yo...Why, Iidon'tt kno??. FML

 

That's it for now. We'll be back next month for some more weirdness, because there's plenty more in our backlog. You can probably see some yourself while they are being sent in by using the Moderate the FMLs feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very beginning, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird stories to try and get them published in here, it won't work. We can spot the phonies!

Take care!

 

 

 

 

 

Bonus track - what's going on here?
  

300 letters

Today, Today. had a story, but I only get 300 Letters! F FML. Step your game up. Last time I came here. Idle no more. Fuck white privilege and black slaves. Better hope I don't get my money right. Y'all going home.

By Alan / Thursday 10 October 2019 10:03 /
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Top comments
By  BurnInDemonFire  |  28

"Overwhelmed by air-cancer"? Did this kid believe Trump when he said wind turbines cause cancer? Also, I've read more coherent statements made by people off their faces on acid.

Comments
By  BurnInDemonFire  |  28

"Overwhelmed by air-cancer"? Did this kid believe Trump when he said wind turbines cause cancer? Also, I've read more coherent statements made by people off their faces on acid.