The Best Of The Worst Of FML #81

They're back! Here's a selection of the worst FMLs we've received over the years. Read them and poke your eyes out with a spike!

Hello everyone! Once again, after a long hiatus, here's FML's monthly Best of the Worst!

Even more proof that the internet is full of people who can claim that reality is stranger than fiction.

For the people who've never seen this section of FML before, we get sent loads of FMLs, but we only publish a few, due to the fact that most aren't very good, and some are downright terrifying. Amongst those, we also get sent very dumbass stories. Or "shite" as I like to call them. That's what we post in this feature.

Now, get ready, be prepared.
 

 

Nice guy

Every girl keeps turning me down! I always tip my fedora at them, but they turn into such bitches! *Looks down in anger* I don't know what I'm doing wrong at all.. *starts to cry*

 

A man's man

today as i started to use a electric mower i swear i felt my balls shrivel…FML

 

Doggy dog world

Today I was Awoken abruptly with a phone call, it’s my neighbour saying your dog needs to Shit in your yard ! “We Live in Country” Shit Shit Everywhere’s 5 or 6 piles shit. It’s all over my house tracked it in. I say “Sorry” then 8 hours later she calls Back ...shit shit FML

 

Gamers rise up

have you ever play metroid lol jjjjnnnnnnjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

 

Haterz

god knows, everyday I wake up hating where I live.I feel trapped.I have to sell a house behind hate.Oh God why did I move to a Town of Haters.Poquoson is hate.Do not ever set foot in that evil town

 

Smile

Ihh u no there this girl i like but today i look at her her friend smile and i look at her she smile but anyway after schol i decided to talk but she was alreasy left FML omg

 

How's college?

Today I was hanging out with my Dad I told about all my fan characters a had for pokemon when I was seven.Then he said go read books you bitch! Ughh stupid I don’t give a fuck who ( insert name from history) is! Dammit he didn’t explain to me why I should know! FML

 

Mom Olympics

I made my mom run in to a wall with a pot of mac and cheese in her hands #fml

 

Oh no!

Accidentally sent my neighbor a picture meme, meant for my brother, saying Congratulations, you’re a (picture of a rooster and this, ?)!

 

Nancy Drew

i went to go get cereal a few days ago but there was no milk.(keep in mind we bought 2 big bags) now that we have milk i wanted a bowl. so explain this:WHERE DID THE FUCKING CEREAL GO!

 

That's it for now. We'll be back next month for some more weirdness, because there's plenty more in our backlog. You can probably see some yourself while they are being sent in by using the Moderate the FMLs feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very beginning, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird stories to try and get them published in here, it won't work. We can spot the phonies. Take care! With a bit of prodding, I might even make this a weekly occurence (just ask in the comments).

 

 

 

 

 

Bonus track - We all can relate :
  

Blue Monday

Today, FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK MY LIFE! FML

By Alan / Monday 6 May 2019 11:20 /
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  Alan  |  47

That's why they brought me back! I'm here to clean things up and hopefully get things running ship-shape. Sort of.

By  Taurus_ChicKa  |  35

Hallelujah! Maybe now we won't get weird posts saying "my Christmas sucked" or "Today is New Year's" in the middle of May. And ones with better grammar. I'd rather have that than the bad quality we were getting. I also hope to see the best comments make a return!