The Best of the Worst of FML #40
Hello everyone! Once again, here's FML's weekly Best of the Worst! At last, more proof that life with a single braincell is possible.
For the people who've never seen this section of FML before, we get sent loads of FMLs, but we only publish a few, due to the fact that most aren't very good, and some are downright terrifying. Amongst those, we also get sent very dumbass stories. Or "arsecandles" as I like to call them. That's what we post in this feature. Now, brace yourself. Imagine you're in an Easyjet flight and you're hearing "BRACE BRACE".
Mom, you're doing it again
Today,my mom told me that if someone ran up to her singing the song that never ends in the middle of the dark shed start playing with herself.FML
Today,i was In gym class qhwn the kid in front of me fel and the teaxher said if you dknt stop raping gim jhad you will get suspended,FML
Today, I was having sex with a hot blonde I’m 87 and she’s 22, I now have a restraining order for doing a hoe, FML
The other Simpsons
last night I deposited twenty dollars into my families bank acount that was used for groseries and found out that there was only fifty-four other dollars and I alone had put in over four hundread dollars and that my mom and dad got drunk and matching tattoos on their butts and genitals
If you can't spell it, don't donate it
Today, while I was donating a testical, they managed to cross and he removed the wrong one. I’m screwed. FML
We have no control over your uterus
We know U and U know us. If you knew me, why don’t you stop my period? FML.
Afla Romeo? Great cras.
Today, my dad bought a afla Romao hat and her WEARS IT when he drives he pulled up and my high school with hit on and screamed my name out really loud FML
Kudu be loved?
Today,I went to Kudu restaurant and I request launch Kudu chicken it is very nice,thank you.
We could sure use some of that round here
Today, I got condiment from ever speaking again! FM
Isn't it a sort of boat?
Today, the guy I like wanted me to tug him for finger. I have no idea what tug is and no one in my family will tell me, not even google. so the goal for me is to “tug” him for finger. I’m only 14 and he’s 15. we both like each other but I don’t think I’m ready for sex. FML
That's it for now. We'll be back next week for some more weirdness because there's plenty more in our backlog. You can probably see some yourself while they are sent in by using the Moderate the FMLs feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very beginning, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird stories to try and get them published in here, it won't work. We can spot the phonies. Take care!
Bonus track: This one is actually true.
FML is God
Today, I realised how stupid FmL is because it takes away time from God and family.