The Best of the Worst of FML #34

Here's the August selection of the worst FMLs we've received over the years. Yes, people actually sent these in, so get your eyes and brainbox ready. It's going to be painful.

Hello everyone! It's the last Wednesday of the month, which means it's time to post another compilation of weird FMLs that have been sent in by our users. Who would ever post these? Odd. Let's check out this month's stuff.

For the people who've never seen this section of FML before, we get sent lots of FMLs, but we only publish a few, due to the fact that many are not very good, and some are downright terrifying. Amongst those, we also get sent very weird stories. Or "bollocks" as I like to call them. That's what we post in this column. Put your goggles and helmet on now.

Gossip Girl antics

Today, I was at a party,so i was going up to this girl i’ve crushed on for WEEKS! Then her gay friend pops up out of absolutely NOWHERE and screams “he crapped his pants!” and throws his choclate sauce all over the back of my pants. When i leave he secretly says to me “im watcing you!”

Confusion

Today I watched Logics “1-800-273-8255” and I dude said it was" Adam and Eve, not Adam and Adam “ so I responded with” What’s wrong with homosexuality? “ his response was ” I bet your gay, and you love ducks. Quack quack “ FML

They have conventions for everything now

Today, I went to a convention, it was about hating California. My phone rang , but my ringtone was “California Love” FML

There's more to life than books you know?

Today I was hanging out with my Dad I told about all my fan characters a had for pokemon when I was seven.Then he said go read books you bitch! Ughh stupid I don’t give a fuck who ( insert name from history) is! Dammit he didn’t explain to me why I should know! FML

Anger issues incoming!

Effing Perverts!!! Those bastards keep passing comments while i play bball!?! WTF! No unity in my batch!?!! WTF is wrong with ppl!?! SELFISH EGOIST EFFING PPL! . I hate this new place , FML :|

Kissfart!

today I just had a cigratte then my boy friend pulled he said give me some sugar baby when I was about to give him a kiss farted he was like whats oh nothing just my mind.Did you fart no of course not ok im edmit it i farted fml

Dylan went electric; he was booed

today as i started to use a electric mower i swear i felt my balls shrivel…FML

Too many Ys

WeLl Ryte Now iim bored n MybAbe isz Far Away… ugh ii WaNa c Hym Already FMl

Take a hint

Everytime me only text u, me only said gudbye, me only blocked u many times don’t know y I’m like this type of shit. Again now I’m trying to text u but no no no I won’t do bcz u have to ?

/r/ThatHappened

Today, I had to change my Facebook status to “Don’t you hate it when your penis falls off due to a rare disease and you have to have surgery to convert your finger into a new one….” I’ve lost three fingers.

That's it for now. We'll be back next month for some more weirdness because there's plenty more in our backlog. You can probably see some yourself while they are sent in by using the Moderate the FMLs feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very beginning, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird stories to try and get them published in here, it won't work. We can spot the phonies. Take care!

Bonus track: This person desperately need the FML app to make his or her smartphone less boring !

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So does life