The Best of the Worst #29
Hello everyone, happy New Year (again). Well, 2016 is over, let's hope that 2017 is the year that idiots stop running the world. While we wait for that to happen, here's the monthly Best of the Worst of FML. Let's take a gander at this week's collection.
For the people who have never seen this section of FML before: we get sent lots of FMLs, each day, all day. We only publish a few due to the fact that a lot are not very good, copies of old FMLs or just not funny. Amongst those, we also get sent very weird stories, if you can call them stories. That's what we post in this column. Here we go for January's selection.
today my grandmother had a vaginoplasty after recovery she recieved flowers from a gentleman in the burn unit thanking her for his new ears fml.
It's 2017, lady
Today,while out walking my rabbit. Some old lady came up to me asking if he was a female rabbit only because of the pink leash. Men can wear pink too. That old lady needs to come up from the 1930s. FML
Heaven is a place on earth
Today, my mom told me about heaven, and how great it would be. That night, I dream I died, an angel took me up to heaven, and then Frank Sanatra beat me up. FML
Today, I was doing the laundry and I put my brothers underwear in the washing machine then i got a sudden itch in my private, so i itched it and now I’m pregnent with my brothers baby from his underwear. FML
Happens all the time
Today, my mum called me babe, when I asked her to stop calling me babe, she looked at me and said “Ok love” I sarcastically asked if she had forgotten my name. She looked at me and walked away. Im 17 and my mum has been calling me babe for 5 yrs. She forgot my name when i was 12. FML
Today, my 3 year old daughter asked me if God had a penis. FML
It's the little things
Today, I celebrated being a week into summer vacation by shampooing my beard. FML
Don't know why you're angry but yeah!
Fucking R&L Carriers!!! They don’t have a lift gate, fork lift or pallet jack. I’m unloading 1000 cases by hand.
Cedar Point fuckin sux ass. I can’t believe i put so many years of training in there. Not to mention all the goddamn GAY drama. I should have never worked for Cedar Fair Entertainment Company. FML
the girl i love hates me, but she will read all of these. please say yes on this so that maybe shell think this is cute and give me another chance. i love you vanessa
That's it for January, 2017. We'll be back next month for some more weirdness because there's plenty more in our backlog. You can probably see some yourself while they are sent in by using the "Moderate the FMLs" feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very beginning, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird ramblings to try and get them published in here, it won't work. We can spot the phonies. Take care!
Bonus track: A confession
The FML team usually is, too
im too drunk to read any of these. fml