Some Dude Got His Penis Stuck in a Gym Weight and It Took Firefighters Three Hours to Cut it Out

In this edition of “Don’t Put Your Dick in That” the FML news team heads to Germany, where one lascivious gym-goer gave into the allure of his gym’s sexy equipment and quickly came to regret it, obviously.

Not too long ago we covered coconuts, but this time around the object we shouldn’t have to tell you not to put your dick in is the circular gym weight. If there is a proper name for this piece of equipment, I don’t know it because as you might imagine, no one here on the FML team is exactly the gymrat type. Anyway, it looks like a big, metal donut.

See for yourself.

Hot, right?

That’s exactly what one man in Worms, Germany was thinking when he decided to put his penis inside one. He was notably less excited when he found that he couldn’t get it out.

To his utmost shame, I’m sure, he had to notify the fire department to help him get out.

They shared this anecdote to FaceBook:

“Report: Curious training accident - assistance for the hospital.

A few of our firefighters had to be delicate when they received a different kind of message that arrived at the control center today, Friday, 9/15/17.

The fire department was called to the hospital in Worms. One person had a very sensitive body part stuck in the hole of a 2.5 kg dumbbell disc. With the aid of the cutting grinder, a vibrating saw and a hydraulic rescue device, the weight could be removed after three hours.

The fire brigade and a firefighter of the voluntary unit were on the scene to assist.

Please do not imitate such actions!”


Thankfully the man was sedated so he didn’t have to suffer the panic of seeing his dick so near to something that could chop it right off.

In the wake of such stupidity, I’m reminded once more of the coconut story, which ended not in men avoiding sticking their dicks inside coconuts, but rather trying it out for themselves to their chagrin, and I wonder how many guys out there will read this story and will try sticking their own dicks inside these yonic metal discs.

The fire brigade ends their story with a warning not to repeat such actions at home, which in my mind, is entirely unnecessary to mention, because duh. No one should have to tell you not to stick your dick in a weight. It’s common sense. But the sad fact of the matter is that boys will be boys.

They see something they wanna fuck, they’re gonna try and fuck it.

By Nina / Tuesday 19 September 2017 11:38 /
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By  Ashamed_Sister  |  60

Before anyone else does, I would like to play smarty-pants. A "Trennschleifer" is usually called angle grinder (not cutting grinder) and the most common English name for "Vibrationssäge" is oscillating saw or also oscillating multi-tool (not vibrating saw). The hydraulic rescue tool seems to be a rescue spreader.

By  ARISKomuniszt  |  24

They should've known really someone would do 'etwas Dummes' like that. But they probably didn't expect that there would be one to get stuck... after all it is the town of Worms...