Poison Control Centers Are Hard At Work As Tide Pod Challenge Leads To Unprecedented Number of Teens Poisoning Themselves

It’s hard to believe we at FML have made it this far into the era of the Tide Pod Challenge without discussing it, because honestly, what could be more of an FML than people willingly eating something that is only ever meant to be “eaten” by a washing machine?
I’m a pug who eats everything and even I know not to eat Tide pods pic.twitter.com/06iH34RzAO
— Doug The Pug (@itsdougthepug) January 19, 2018
Since Tide released the product in 2012, Procter & Gamble have had to issue warnings not to ingest the detergent pods because many young children do what children do and put the brightly colored pods in their mouths.
Normally, you would think this kind of warning wouldn’t be necessary for adults, but you would be wrong. Remember, folks, we’re experiencing a regression, it would seem, in intelligence and common sense these days. It was only a matter of time before the Tide Pod Challenge was born. It was all jokes at first, but now people, mostly teens, are sharing videos of themselves literally biting into the candy-colored sacks of chemicals.
2000’s kids didn’t have the D.A.R.E. program thats why they’re out here eating tide pods and whatnot
— Trevor Norris (@trevor_norris0) January 21, 2018
A tale of hazardous chemical ingestion would not be complete without the American Association of Poison Control Centers (AAPCC), who have not been lacking work in the last couple months. With the rise in consumption of Tide Pods comes a rise in calls to poison control.
In a statement issued by the AAPCC, warning about the “potential poison exposure to single-load laundry packets,” they said that in the first 2 weeks of 2018 alone, there were already 39 cases of teenagers between 13 and 19 deliberately eating detergent pods. That how many cases there were in all of 2016. There were 53 cases in 2017; we’re guessing mostly in the end of the year.
Please don't eat laundry pods. Learn more ways to #preventpoison https://t.co/jjJGA8N1H4 pic.twitter.com/WxJFmeO3Y7
— US Consumer Product Safety Commission (@USCPSC) January 13, 2018
Authorities are panicking to resolve this stupidity epidemic by issuing warnings, statements, and video PSAs on social media, including Tide’s twitter video featuring the Patriots’ tight-end Gronk. When asked if eating Tide Pods was ever a good idea, he responds “No, no, no, no, no, no, no.”
What should Tide PODs be used for? DOING LAUNDRY. Nothing else.
— Tide (@tide) January 12, 2018
Eating a Tide POD is a BAD IDEA, and we asked our friend @robgronkowski to help explain. pic.twitter.com/0JnFdhnsWZ
YouTube also vowed to take down any videos of people consuming laundry pods, with Facebook quickly following suit.
Come on guys, it should go without saying that eating poison is not a joke, no matter how many people are doing it online. The FML here is clear - it’s an FML for humanity.
Can we stop telling people not to eat tide pods? Do we really need those people?
— Shower Thoughts (@TheWeirdWorld) January 18, 2018