Only In [Insert Country Here]...

This week's international assembly of FMLs features five flub-ups from around the world that just couldn't have happened anywhere else.

She wouldn't have gotten away so easily had they been in Costa RIca.

By PasFiancé - Iceland - Reykjav?k

Today, under the Northern Lights of the Arctic Circle, I presented my girlfriend with an engagement ring and asked her if she would become my wife. She said, "I can’t, I have mittens." FML

I agree, your life sucks

898

You deserved it

83

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Only in Tunisia are dromedaries as common as dogs.

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By Kolpall - Tunisia

Today, I’m on vacation in Tunisia. Having trouble with the heat at night, I tried sleeping outside in the garden. At 3 a.m., I’m awoken by something licking my face. A dog? A camel. A camel! FML

I agree, your life sucks

816

You deserved it

145

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It's flying saucers, not flying sausages.

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By Matatat - Germany - Pirmasens

Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one of my colleagues hit another with a sausage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

730

You deserved it

79

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I doubt there is anywhere else in the world where flutists compulsively practice traditional Romanian songs.

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By la choupe - Romania - Brasov

Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties, the house music of my neighbor, I’m now enduring the covers of traditional Romanian songs with a flute by my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

646

Phew, glad it wasn't me

72

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Only in Sweden are students this prepared for exams.

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By azerty - Sweden

Today, it’s exam day in Sweden. Yesterday, I prepared three fountain pens and six cartridges. The exam starts. Suddenly, I’m stressing out: my pens had frozen during the night. Thanks, sub-zero conditions. FML

I agree, your life sucks

731

Phew, glad it wasn't me

88

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By Nina / Tuesday 30 May 2017 12:19 / France

Season finale

Slow moving accident

Too clever

By pissedexworker - United States

Today, I found out that being rushed unconscious to the hospital and missing work qualifies you for termination if you don't call in, even if you have a note from the ER doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34872

You deserved it

2400

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By TheWriter

Book club gone wild!

Today, during a family gathering, my mom, grandmother, and aunts started talking about an erotic novel they're all reading on Amazon. My cousin asked for the writer's name and I heard my pseudonym in response. My entire family is reading my horribly-written porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4169

You deserved it

1333

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By me - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25271

You deserved it

3714

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By noname - United States - Alexandria

Today, I found out that my fellow marching band mates all refer to me as the "short girl with big tits" because none of them can remember my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29110

You deserved it

4449

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By Anonymous

Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a make-shift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22709

You deserved it

6731

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34532

You deserved it

3649

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By Anonymous - Italy - Vigodarzere

Today, after months of being on anti-depression medication and feeling very little emotionally, I finally felt some joy. Sadly it was from completely crushing my husband in an argument he started, where he claimed ketchup is a vegetable. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40475

You deserved it

4816

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By Anonymous - Australia - Coogee

Today, while holidaying in Greece, I approached a cute girl in a club and offered her a drink in Greek. She said, "No Greek!" and then called me an "ugly kiss-ass" in English, thinking I wouldn't understand. I'm Australian. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3955

You deserved it

385

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, I spent nearly half an hour looking for my favourite pair of shoes. I ended up getting so pissed off that I accused my boyfriend of stealing them. He then pointed out that I was wearing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13801

You deserved it

34106

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By snoooore - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I discovered I have narcolepsy. During a driving test. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1581

You deserved it

115

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By Milly

Today, it's my birthday, and my coworkers gave me a $75 gift card to a restaurant chain near my house. Later in the evening, I found out the chain of restaurants abruptly closed. All of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3793

You deserved it

183

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, after being told by her therapist to try to make her kids a bigger part of her life because we're so distant from her, my mom's new favorite thing to do is to constantly use the words "YOLO" and "swag" around us. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54712

You deserved it

5629

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By FMlovelife - United States

Today, I stumbled across my ex's blog. Apparently, while dating me, he realized he was gay. Good to know the one guy I've dated, lost my virginity to, and fell in love with, was never truly attracted to me and was dating me just to be sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35668

You deserved it

2945

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By evomadrid24 - United States

Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31102

You deserved it

2780

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By anonymous - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41344

You deserved it

5492

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By Anonymous - 9/12/2020 11:09

The old switcheroo

Today, I was supposed to close on a house. Unfortunately, our lender decided that they couldn't finance us and denied us a loan, after 3 months of us digging up paperwork, saving money, and packing. Now we have to scramble to find a new place, while our insane landlady screams at us. FML

I agree, your life sucks

673

You deserved it

52

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By gassy - United States

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15124

You deserved it

35557

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By Jenny - United States - Anchorage

Today, I discovered the importance of having sex before marriage. We found out that my husband is gay on our wedding night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6820

You deserved it

1605

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By anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to give me my Christmas present early because he's going to his grandparents' house for Christmas and won't see me. I was excited, until I unwrapped a sweater that I left there a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30152

You deserved it

2976

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By easilyexited - United States

Today, we were swimming in gym class. There are some cute girls in our class and they were wearing their bikinis. I was looking at them when I got an erection but since I was underwater I thought no one would see. I'm on the diving team so my teacher asked me to demonstrate a dive to the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

66077

You deserved it

17503

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By NoBasement4U - Canada - Medicine Hat

Today, my dad went to a hardware store to replace the broken shower head in my bathroom. He got the cheapest shower head he could find, and so when I took a shower, the shower head burst out and hit me square in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26342

You deserved it

2117

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By ouch - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

I agree, your life sucks

52548

You deserved it

16824

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my new girlfriend was telling me how she's attracted to "All-American" looking guys. Tall, manly body, handsome face. Then she says, "But it's ok, you're cute too." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32968

You deserved it

3208

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By Flarewolf - United Kingdom

Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

17014

You deserved it

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By the poor man - Australia - Perth

Today, at a party that was pretty big, I thought it would be funny to photobomb a photo. In doing so, I slipped over and snapped my arm in. I may now have to get surgery. The good thing is I made a hell of a photobomb. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22108

You deserved it

10150

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend ran off with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2092

You deserved it

206

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By say no to indoctrination - 22/8/2020 20:02 - United States

Indoctrination

Today, I was called everything from a communist to a nazi to a national traitor for suggesting that kids shouldn’t be forced to recite the pledge of allegiance at school until they’re old enough to truly understand what it means. Someone even threatened to kick my ass for speaking up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1684

You deserved it

789

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By Anonymous - United States - Woodland Hills

Today, after learning that my wife has been cheating on me, I decided to distract myself by playing The Sims. Not long after I began, my Sim's wife basically started cheating on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59517

You deserved it

6219

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was running on a track above a basketball court. I noticed several cute guys playing a pick-up game, so I tried to run my hardest. Not paying attention, I didn't hear when they warned me about the ball flying towards me. It hit me in the head, I then ran into a wall and face-planted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20377

You deserved it

40858

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By ~~~ - Australia - Adelaide

Today, after nearly three weeks of hard work, I finally completed my best drawing yet, a self-portrait. I was incredibly excited to take it to class tomorrow. That is, until I came home from a walk later on, only to find my brother had drawn a stick figure on it, wanking into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47457

You deserved it

4320

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I called my parents from out of state to see if they would order me a pizza using their credit card online because I'm out of money. I haven't lived with them for the past year, and they still claim me as a dependent on their taxes. They said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15666

You deserved it

30971

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By ltwlty - China - Beijing

Today, I still can't poop unless I hear the sound of the bathroom fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9735

You deserved it

1381

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By Dad41

Toynado

Today, I came home from work and found that my son had taken every single one of his toys out and left them on the floor. Plus some goldfish crackers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1312

You deserved it

282

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By grlks - United States

Today, I told a girl I liked her. She replied, "Don't". FML

I agree, your life sucks

62009

You deserved it

5850

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By soisblueballsdickhead - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML

I agree, your life sucks

45890

You deserved it

9662

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By Anonymous - United States - Fort Worth

Today, during class our teacher asked us, "Who is Uncle Sam?" A girl answered, "He's the guy who founded KFC, right?" I'm in an AP class and have to put up with these morons constantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45992

You deserved it

4518

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By 3rdWheel1stBorn

Today, I saw that my biological father took his 2 favorite daughters on a luxury cruise to celebrate his birthday. I didn't find out until the pictures were posted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4565

You deserved it

246

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By BoldMoveCotton - United States - Pleasant Hill

Today, I put in my two-week notice. My boss responded by saying, "Okie dokie" and hanging up. Guess they were glad to be rid of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11911

You deserved it

1971

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was playing my bass clarinet around the house. I asked my dad if he would be at my concert on December 16th. His response was, "No, I'm working that day." My dad is a plumber, and gets called to work completely at random; he has no schedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28254

You deserved it

3708

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By Anonymous - 23/12/2020 02:01

Because I'm worth it

Today, I discovered a cat turd in a bath towel from most recent batch of laundry. I was wondering why my facemasks for the whole work week smelled so strange. FML

I agree, your life sucks

784

You deserved it

157

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Top comments

By Ashamed_Sister | 60

#7462716 - Tuesday 30 May 2017 19:44

How long did the FML staff search to find all these GIFs? Each of them is right on the spot.

By TheAprilWitch | 21

#7462906 - Wednesday 31 May 2017 7:08

They fit so perfectly that I even supposed the staff (or Nina) made them.

COMMENTS

By Ashamed_Sister | 60

#7462716 - Tuesday 30 May 2017 19:44

How long did the FML staff search to find all these GIFs? Each of them is right on the spot.

Reply

TheAprilWitch | 21

#7462905 - Wednesday 31 May 2017 7:08

They fit so perfectly that I even supposed the staff (or Nina) made them.

Reply

TheAprilWitch | 21

#7462906 - Wednesday 31 May 2017 7:08

They fit so perfectly that I even supposed the staff (or Nina) made them.

Reply

Nina | 32

#7462947 - Wednesday 31 May 2017 10:02

Thank you for appreciating my gif scavenging skills!! I particularly like the Anchorman gif ;)

By Talented73 | 54

#7462818 - Tuesday 30 May 2017 23:33

I have a small lizard running around in my apartment, and a larger one in my pants.

Oops, wrong thread!

By CrazyTrainWreck | 19

#7463105 - Wednesday 31 May 2017 16:21

I felt like Russian here to comment, but after reading these posts there is Norway any of these are real. Off topic, does anyone know where I can buy fine China?