By Anonymous - 11/2/2020 14:00

My husband's passion

Today, my husband loves his cat more than our new baby daughter. This morning he spent 2 hours playing with the cat, yet when I handed him his flesh and blood daughter, he found an excuse to hand her back after 5 minutes, then 5 minutes after that, he was playing with the cat again. FML
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By  friendly_pixeh  |  7

He's probably worried about not having experience holding babies. I've been a dad for 10 days now and I know it's not easy for everyone. Give him some time i guess. I took me a few days to have some confidence and realize babies are not as fragile as they look.

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No, but you are supposed to form a bond with your own child, care for it, and raise it well, not constantly ignore it. If the guy doesn't want to interact with his little girl, why didn't he say something before OP fell pregnant? Nothing wrong with liking cats, I have one of my own, but if he's more interested in their cat, he shouldn't have had a kid.

By  friendly_pixeh  |  7

He's probably worried about not having experience holding babies. I've been a dad for 10 days now and I know it's not easy for everyone. Give him some time i guess. I took me a few days to have some confidence and realize babies are not as fragile as they look.

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  chyiochan  |  30

Don't worry too, it's also sometimes very common for the man/father to have a connection. It can take months to learn how to handle and deal with it, especially if they feel like they can't do anything to make the baby 'happy' or 'fulfilled' like a mother usually can with the initial contact and BFing. Good luck! You're doing great!

By  icalledhisname  |  8

A lot of guys are not able to connect to babies. Some can, a lot can’t. They really start growing a bond from the toddler years onwards. Give him a chance, OP. Switching to the parenthood life is shocking and a lot of people don’t handle it well. His bond with the cat is important to him and there’s nothing wrong with that.

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  chyiochan  |  30

Yep, absolutely NORMAL for a father to not connect with a newborn. It's also extremely common that father's feel an absolute disconnect from newborns and it can take months for it to 'click' what to do or how to handle it. Almost similar with postpartem depression. It's a very difficult thing to change to, especially when they're not the ones the baby usually want. (Breast-feeding, bottle feeding) and it's more often than not that the baby is always with and skintimate with the mother.

Give him some time, It's a big life shock, and maybe relax and explain that you understand it's hard to form that attachment, but he needs to learn to handle the baby even if he doesn't know what to do with it.

Also pretty sure this is a repost, but the information is important for new parents. :)

By  KaD6  |  23

It's possible that he may grow into the role. Depending on how old the baby is it may not be possible to doing any playing with him/her yet.

By  ImpKit  |  7

How old is the child? Are we talking actual newborn? Is it possible that it's more a case that the cat is interactive and capable of visibly showing personality and affection? That the attempts to play with it actually offer an immediate return on investment? As the child ages, it's probably a safe bet that he'll become invested in his offspring.

By  Susan Yee  |  7

Newborn baby? That’s absolutely normal. She/he only sleeps all the time. I didn’t really connect with my babies until they were around a month old, when they could stay awake longer and make eye contacts.