Looking good

By Anonymous - 05/12/2020 23:01

Today, I was at a grocery store buying ice cream after the tragedy of losing my grandma. When I got to the cash register, the cashier saw the sadness in my eyes and said, "It's OK, you'll find the one someday, one that can look at your inner beauty and not care about the rest." He thought I'd got broken up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 130

Dysfunctional

Walk the line

Right under your nose

By OneYearMistake. - 22/07/2009 23:35 - United Kingdom

Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket. The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the 'wet spot' was. He thought it was romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 529

You deserved it 6 071

By Ido - 14/06/2016 00:51 - United States - Satellite Beach

Today, I announced my engagement on social media. I got more people telling me how stupid I was than any actually congratulating me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 223

You deserved it 3 092

By tooth fairy - 20/08/2018 04:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, my dentist called and told me that the surgery to remove my wisdom teeth - which I desperately need and saved for a year to be able to afford - will actually cost nearly $2000 more than originally stated. The surgery is supposed to be in three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 499

You deserved it 119

By JRLJLS - 15/04/2013 09:09 - United States - Lehigh Acres

Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 842

You deserved it 11 495

By bastard magnet - 02/10/2011 22:14 - United States

Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 976

You deserved it 7 924

By bananaface - 16/11/2009 07:29 - United States

Today, I stood in line for one hour to get a new phone. It then took me 2 minutes to drop it and shatter the screen, and 2 seconds for the employee to look at, laugh, and tell me, "That Sucks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 480

You deserved it 32 080

By Jennifer - 20/01/2016 19:20 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, I was at school deleting documents I no longer needed on my school account. After clicking empty trash can, I saw a final paper on political science deleted. I'm not in political science, and I wasn't deleting files on my account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 118

You deserved it 10 618

By aoliver03 - 11/09/2018 18:30

Today, I spilled my guts out to my fiancé about some insecurities I've been having. I then turned to look at him through tears at his expressionless face as he texted someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 121

You deserved it 301

By mortifiedgrandchild - 09/01/2012 18:53 - United States

Today, I came across a picture of my grandpa taking a hit off a bong, while wearing nothing but a Playboy shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 148

You deserved it 4 341

By anon - 09/07/2011 04:48 - Australia

Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone pole. I told her they were going to remove it. She started crying and saying, "They can't kill the tree!" She is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 158

You deserved it 7 395

By callmeclarence - 23/06/2014 05:41 - United States - Valencia

Today, I took my clothes off for a shower at an RV campsite. I started running the water when I noticed there was a pack of hornets in the bathroom. I stood there, stark naked, waiting for a chance to get out, for four hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 005

You deserved it 5 589

Dopamine

By Kaya Marley Ramsey - 05/10/2021 06:00

Today, Facebook stopped working and I realized how emotionally dependent I am on social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 952

By Anonymous - 12/03/2010 16:55 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents. I hope my charm and smile was enough for them to forgive me for not wearing pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 964

You deserved it 31 312

By childdreamkiller - 08/12/2011 17:41 - Canada

Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 236

You deserved it 5 171

By Anonymous - 14/01/2013 17:58 - United States - Arlington

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 866

You deserved it 9 985

Mixology

By fml9124 - 22/10/2020 02:00 - United States

Today, my wife is out of town on business. So I got drunk. Really drunk. Felt like swimming around midnight (we live in Arizona). Jumped in the pool… and forget how to swim. Too uncoordinated, I almost drowned. Then I threw up in the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 2 337

By Koda - 06/05/2011 04:27

Today, I passed out when my blood sugar dropped. Three times. And each time, my roommate, who was right next to me, just let me fall because he liked the way my face looked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 628

You deserved it 4 661

By Mal - 29/10/2010 20:02 - United States

Today, I finally mustered up the guts to ask this girl I like to dinner and a movie. She agreed on the terms that she could bring someone, and I'd said it wouldn't be a problem. When I met up with her a few hours later, I found out she'd brought her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 455

You deserved it 6 673

By FingerBang - 21/10/2009 06:32 - Australia

Today, whilst holding a hand rail on a packed bus, I was rubbing my hand along, and playing with, what I thought was a join in the metal. It was an old woman's finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 038

You deserved it 34 061

That's a mother

By Anonymous - 23/02/2020 20:00

Today, my mom and I got into a fight about a topic we agreed on. Seems like we're destined to never get along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 490

You deserved it 302

By anonymous - 23/04/2013 05:25 - United States

Today, I had a note to skip P.E. that my grandpa had written because my mom was busy. His handwriting is terrible, so they didn't believe that he'd written it. I'd twisted my ankle and I got to run another mile for "lying". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 901

You deserved it 4 182

By Lilie - 17/12/2008 10:25 - France

Today, my sweetheart came round to drop off some underwear which I'd left at his house. Not all of what he brought was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 292

You deserved it 2 476

Abandoned

By Anonymous - 30/07/2015 06:56 - Australia

Today, while shopping with my sister, she asked me to wait for her while she quickly said hello to a friend. I sat on a bench for an hour before I realised she wasn't coming back. Turns out, "Hello" had turned into a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 597

You deserved it 2 328

Goddammit, Facebook!

By Anonymous - 28/05/2021 23:01 - Jamaica - Kingston

Today, my boyfriend of three years told me he isn't sure about me anymore. He said he saw a quote on Facebook that a guy can be with a girl for 10 years, then leave, and be with a girl for one and marry that girl. Meanwhile, I've been planning on the rest of my life with him in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 104

You deserved it 111

By brigie - 01/05/2013 08:21 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend of two and a half years left me. To clear my head I decided to go for a drive. My car broke down on the way. The only mechanic I have ever used and trusted with my car is my boyfriend. Yes, I had to call him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 458

You deserved it 8 123

By Qwerty - 28/06/2011 16:10 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 929

You deserved it 5 270

By What the fuck, son? - 11/05/2013 16:21 - Netherlands - Amerongen

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 366

You deserved it 7 811

By Nearis - 16/02/2011 01:13 - United States

Today, I received a call from the police about a car accident that I was a witness to. As the only witness who stopped to help, I was remembered by the other cars involved. They're blaming me for the accident. The cops want to talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 822

You deserved it 2 758

By Nurse - 31/08/2018 15:00

Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 808

You deserved it 712

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 12:44 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 052

You deserved it 4 643

By Thanks Babe - 20/04/2013 23:40 - United States - Aurora

Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 008

You deserved it 7 545

Gassy

By MuteNToot - 26/02/2015 21:17

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 909

You deserved it 14 293

By Tee - 26/03/2010 08:48 - France

Today, I got locked inside my office again by my co-workers because they had forgotten I was still around when they left. This happens 1 or 2 times a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 990

You deserved it 4 398

By gr8 - 28/09/2018 17:30

Today, because I had to leave the country without notice and didn't have reception to notify my college, I have been irreversibly dropped from all my classes without a refund and will have to reapply for January. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 410

You deserved it 512

By jsalmons - 02/06/2011 17:39 - Germany

Today, I flew home to Germany to see my wife before I'm deployed, only to find her in bed with another guy. She explained that she wants us to stay together, but she can't take a year without being intimate with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 398

You deserved it 5 323

By mike - 07/02/2010 07:16 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she carved her old boyfriends name in her arm and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 430

You deserved it 4 106

By Username - 16/12/2011 06:31 - Canada

Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 624

You deserved it 33 159

By Anonymous - 20/11/2010 05:49 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 126

You deserved it 3 277

By Anonymous - 01/05/2012 08:24 - Australia - Bairnsdale

Today, I faked my age to win a colouring competition. I just turned 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 761

You deserved it 29 304

By edulover - 01/01/2011 01:16 - United States

Today, my mom duly informed me I'm the reason people have middle fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 657

You deserved it 6 387

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Top comments

lev 11

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Sunday 6 December 2020 7:18

at least he had good intentions.

RichardPencil 30

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Sunday 6 December 2020 5:24

And he thought you were not particularly attractive.* No one comments on the inner beauty of outwardly beautiful people. It's assumed that some of it must leak inside. *I was thinking fugly, but some might think that's mean.