By Anonymous - United States Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 38670 You deserved it 5531 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/3/2020 18:07 Alexa, play "Mr Loverman" by Shabba Ranks Today, I was at a store when I saw a cute girl from my school. Trying to act cool, I went to hold the door for her. Too bad it was an automatic door. FML I agree, your life sucks 772 You deserved it 1003 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jograd - Australia - Sydney Today, my roommate decided to turn off all appliances in the house to "save" electricity. This included the refrigerator. FML I agree, your life sucks 25745 You deserved it 1669 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JuggaloSlasher15 - United States Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML I agree, your life sucks 51640 You deserved it 6752 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I was at an outdoor market with my family. We'd had dinner and were about to leave when 2 women stood next to our table, smoking. We called out to let them know they could have it, as we were leaving. They thought we were complaining about the smoke. They yelled at us and stormed off, while the other tables stared. FML I agree, your life sucks 1344 You deserved it 157 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I had a long conversation with my fiancé about how smoking menthol cigarettes is not a substitute for brushing your teeth. He still isn't convinced. FML I agree, your life sucks 28224 You deserved it 3706 166 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By StillBurning Today, I enjoyed my favourite pizza topped with jalapeños for an extra kick. I later got to feel that kick a second time as I vomited in the middle of the night. Some came out my nose. FML I agree, your life sucks 3624 You deserved it 636 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By spitballer1 - United States Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML I agree, your life sucks 49116 You deserved it 28988 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tiredmom - United States - Phoenix Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML I agree, your life sucks 11256 You deserved it 1545 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States - Rock Hill Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML I agree, your life sucks 24201 You deserved it 2070 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By copshop - United States Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML I agree, your life sucks 17254 You deserved it 35903 153 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jake - United States - Athens Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML I agree, your life sucks 39425 You deserved it 2773 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fuckit - United States Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML I agree, your life sucks 29163 You deserved it 5566 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - United States Today, my boyfriend out of the blue told me I wasn't fat, that my stomach was flat and it was only my butt that was big. I thought that this was a compliment. His response? "Not at all". FML I agree, your life sucks 29819 You deserved it 2903 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lalalala - 6/9/2020 02:02 - United States - Austin Post-it Today, my boyfriend told me to stay home, because he wanted to come by to give me a birthday surprise. Later on, he came by, posted a note, rung the bell and left. The note was a break up note. FML I agree, your life sucks 1617 You deserved it 96 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MY CAR - United States Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML I agree, your life sucks 24812 You deserved it 11081 145 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Bulgaria - Sofia Today, my son finally got a job for the first time in his life. He only did it so he can upgrade his PC and buy Overwatch. He's 24. FML I agree, your life sucks 12275 You deserved it 3502 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CheeseyPotatoes - United States Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML I agree, your life sucks 23652 You deserved it 73353 371 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nalya - France Today, my fiancé told me, that after 7 years together, he is no longer in love with me. Shocked and appalled, I ask him if he has anything else to add. "Happy Birthday". FML I agree, your life sucks 35846 You deserved it 2060 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, on my way home from work, I decided to bring my pregnant wife a bouquet of roses to surprise her. Her response? "Why didn't you get me something useful, like chicken wings, instead?" FML I agree, your life sucks 46318 You deserved it 10768 299 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Cleveland Today, I went to a wake. When my dad picked me up, I was still pretty upset. Just when I'd had enough of death, the car hits a raccoon on the way home. FML I agree, your life sucks 39278 You deserved it 4894 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anon - United States - Irwin Today, a very drunk woman at the family Christmas party told me she felt terrible that I don't have a mother who cares about me. She is my mother. FML I agree, your life sucks 36118 You deserved it 2486 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By neta_1996 - United States - Mabelvale Today, my boyfriend broke up with me two days before my birthday. Only to make it worse, I found out that he had been texting my mother on how to break up with me. To make it even worse, she was giving him tips. FML I agree, your life sucks 48136 You deserved it 3951 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Poughkeepsie Today, my mom and I went to catch our flight to Jamaica. She ended up being detained and questioned, because she packed hairspray, shampoo, drinks, basically half the shit you're not allowed to have in your luggage. We missed our flight. FML I agree, your life sucks 25204 You deserved it 2439 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By woodre - United States Today, I was emptying a bag of grass from my lawn mower when I saw pieces of what used to be a 50 dollar bill. FML I agree, your life sucks 35077 You deserved it 6159 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jonnah - Canada Today, I told my boyfriend I love him. His response? "Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?" FML I agree, your life sucks 32574 You deserved it 5252 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rkl2010 - United States Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML I agree, your life sucks 28392 You deserved it 3429 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Posty - United Kingdom Today, on the way to work, I pulled over at a postbox to post a letter. I walked up to the box with the letter in one hand, car key in the other. Guess which one I posted. FML I agree, your life sucks 42506 You deserved it 26667 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fmylovelife - United States Today, I surprised my girlfriend with roses. She surprised me by getting back together with her ex. FML I agree, your life sucks 44384 You deserved it 3420 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Monsieur-Madame - France - Courtisols Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML I agree, your life sucks 33549 You deserved it 3174 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By boss_daughter - United States Today, while we were at a work party, I noticed a drunk lady in the mix. I pointed out to my boss how dumb she looked. It was his daughter. FML I agree, your life sucks 28500 You deserved it 14156 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Manu - United States - Columbia Today, I went to get my first manicure. While waiting, I looked at the menu board. When I wondered aloud: "I know what a French manicure is, but what on Earth is a Polish change?" The whole place started laughing and I guess I'm not going back. FML I agree, your life sucks 5683 You deserved it 1559 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By HP_22 - United States Today, I was the only employee at a video store where I work when it got robbed. After crying, shaking and spending two hours and dealing with the police, my boss called and told me it was good experience and I would know what to do next time, then made me finish my shift, the night shift, alone. FML I agree, your life sucks 44588 You deserved it 3273 120 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I was getting picked up by my dad after I had been swimming. I saw his car, so I walked over to it, got in and started talking about how I'd seen my brother. It wasn't until after I had put my seat belt on that I realized I was talking to a complete stranger. FML I agree, your life sucks 20367 You deserved it 29280 157 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I had just gotten a milkshake with some friends. We were about to drive past my ex's house, so I though it would be funny to throw the milkshake in his yard. Turns out, if you're going 50mph and try to throw a shake out the window, it comes right back at you. FML I agree, your life sucks 7915 You deserved it 103523 258 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By joshualover - United States Today, I was driving through my neighborhood when I heard a siren. I looked into my rear view mirror and saw a motorcycle, so I pulled over. The motorcycle drove by, and it turned out to be an old lady with a leather jacket. The siren was in a song on the radio. FML I agree, your life sucks 9482 You deserved it 28234 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Justin 'Cuntface' Bieber III - United States - Jersey Shore Today, at the supermarket, a woman came up to me and said I looked just like her son, who was killed in Afghanistan. She tearfully asked if she could hug me "one last time". It was a little weird, but I let her. 10 minutes later, at the checkout, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML I agree, your life sucks 35573 You deserved it 5248 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my friend bought a smartphone and updated his facebook status with it. Two weeks ago he signed an apartment lease with another friend. Four months ago he bought a new handgun. Seven months ago he bought a new TV. He's owed me $300 for a year and a half. FML I agree, your life sucks 31309 You deserved it 8671 172 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Sheffield Today, I was eating lunch, and accidentally got ketchup on the sofa, so I hastily doused it with stain remover. The ketchup is now no longer there; however there is a larger stain in its place. I stained the sofa with stain remover. FML I agree, your life sucks 24191 You deserved it 4709 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Justincredible69 - United States Today, I was legitimately sick so I called in to work. Apparently, 4 other guys on my line called in too. My boss thought we planned it. Now we're all written up. FML I agree, your life sucks 25855 You deserved it 1506 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dave_Davington | 33 #7724047 - Friday 16 November 2018 9:45 His pants would've stayed up his he had a boner. Send a private message 0 1 Reply
By Listerinekiss | 8 #7724324 - Friday 16 November 2018 20:27 So we just free balling huh? Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By Dave_Davington | 33 #7724047 - Friday 16 November 2018 9:45 His pants would've stayed up his he had a boner. Send a private message 0 1 Reply
By Listerinekiss | 8 #7724324 - Friday 16 November 2018 20:27 So we just free balling huh? Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 452 You deserved it 105 6 Comments
Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 888 You deserved it 45 7 Comments